I rarely blog anymore. I'm not on the foreign misson field anymore, yet I feel like a foreigner sometimes back in my home.
We have been back to Texas for over a year now. Yet, sometimes I feel like I'm still trying to figure how to live here again. Things changed a lot while we were gone. I changed a lot too.
One thing I really enjoy is getting up on Saturday mornings just as the sun is rising. I walk (fast) and listen to worship. Noone is on the trail yet so I can sing like noone is listening except Jesus. This is also where I clearly hear from Him.
I am in such a different season, that I find I can finally think again. Yet, I also find that I need to be intentional about my days. For the first time in so many years, I actually have time alone during the day. I am busy doing all the household and church things that need to get done. But I also find this peace of quiet that I didnt have all the years of childrearing and homeschooling. My introvert self is flourishing because of it.
I am now a licensed minister and feel more confident in the things the Lord tells me and tells me to pour into others. Serving is my gifting. Our home is a home of healing. For our children and those who visit. We get a lot of visitors over the past months. I love seeing how far God has brought me. I love seeing how every storm and every trial He has used. He has birthed in me deep, deep compassion that I just did not have before. He has built in me strong faith because I have seen Him do the impossible.
I've been alive 46 years. I've been married 27 of those years. I've been a mom for 23 of those years. And also a spiritual mom to so many women. I am insignificant, yet He chooses to use me. And I choose to be used by Him.
I watched a movie about a movie star/singer this week. It was heartbreaking. She died at 47, looking like she was in her 80's. Yes, she is remembered. But yet, her life was so empty. Filled with sadness. It was just such a reminder that I serve a God of hope. And He gives me joy. He gives me hope and He gives me purpose. And He commands me to take that joy and give it away. Even if I'm an introvert. He stretches me.
There you go...Saturday morning thoughts:)
