What has this month looked like?

Over the past month, we have had four missions teams come to Belmopan to work with LifeNet.

What does that look like for a missionary family?

Lots of VBS in the villages.

Lots of Water Outreaches.

Lots of help ministering to those we already have relationships with.

Lots of help ministering to new people through door-to-door outreach.

An overflowing pantry full of goodies from home:)

Lots of loving on your family (your kids especially) from new and old friends.

The joy of taking supplies, clothing, etc, to bless members of your church, that the team brings.

Exhaustion with a mix of re-energizing.

And lots of lots of JOY.

Joy at seeing one of my spiritual babies on fire, pumped, and excited to minister...

Finding time to take the youngest to a couple days of dance camp in the midst of this super busy month.

Getting the church you planted 12 years ago to minister to the church you planted 2 years ago...

And COUSINS...what more can I say??

And new friends who seem to have an endless amount of patience and energy for your six year old.

This month has been great.  I love how we have seen each team build on the ministry of the last team.  I love how each team is very unique in its purpose here.  I love how each team has come to bless the Nation of Belize, yet has blessed the Brockintons too.  Next Wednesday, we begin school, a routine again.  While I am looking forward to some normalcy in our life again, I will definitely miss the excitement that teams bring to that routine.  I feel bad that I have not taken more pictures...many of these are borrowed.  But I am doing good just to keep the family in clean clothes and getting the trash taken out.

Looking forward to the fruit from all these teams:)

Blessed

This morning, the Life Church team was on Plus TV.  I was so proud of them.  And then immediately following, the station showed our LifeNet commercial.  I was overwhelmed with emotion and began to cry.  God is sooo amazing.  He had us birth a little church in Katy, Texas, back in 2001.  We thought we would retire there.  But His plan was bigger than ours.  His plan was to raise up those people in Katy and mature them so they could come and minister to a church that He would tell us to plant in another country.  It is always very emotional for me when Life Church comes to Belize.  Our babies ministering to our babies.  My heart is truly in two places.  I cannot even think of the team leaving on Tuesday.  My heart can't bear it.  They just got here.  But I see God using them powerfully.  Yesterday, a woman I led to the Lord in Katy, led a person to the Lord here in Belize.  She was so pumped.  And I was pumped for her.  After I got done ministering to a young girl last night, she came over and ministered as well.  We all cried.  God is so amazing.

Please keep Life Church and LifeNet in your prayers as we go into the Life Advance all day tomorrow.  It is a very large group...  But we want to see God bring true freedom to lives tomorrow.  To see past bondages broken.  So they can live the life Jesus intended.

What is my Sacrifice?

A couple of weeks ago, on the last night of the team being here, they spent some time edifying our family.  It was a very sweet time and we were overwhelmed with love and encouragement.

One thing that several people said, to Tori and I especially, was about our sacrifice.  That they knew what we sacrificed to live here.  That what the Lord was doing through us was worth the sacrifice.  Today, one of my longtime friends made a similar comment.  Speaking of the sacrifice of us living on the mission field.

And although I appreciate the sympathy, or understanding, I thought...what is my sacrifice?  And compared to what.  As we stood outside a Mayan home that is beautiful, but very rustic.  What is my sacrifice?  I have a nice car to drive, can afford to buy groceries to feed my family, can afford gas in our vehicles.  We live in a pretty nice home, by Belizean standards.  I spoke to a girl on a missions team about her mission trip to India...and that is a sacrifice in many different ways.

And what do the Belizeans who hear these things think?  What is our sacrifice of living here?

My sacrifice is creature comforts...but Jesus did that.

My sacrifice is time missed with my physical family...but Jesus did that too.

And I am called to be the hands and feet of Jesus, aren't I?

And I think Jesus is providing a much better life for me than even He himself had.  He constantly covers our family with blessings.  He provides for us more than we could ask or imagine.  He gives me the tools I need to deal with things as they come.  He is worth it.  Worth any little sacrifice I may make:)

So, I wrote this before Net tonight...then during small group, I met with a college girl who is new to the Lord, yet on a fast track with Him.  I prayed for her and then she prayed for me.  Her prayer was so precious and so simple, but thanking God for me...little old me...over and over.  So, what is my sacrifice????

Why is it that I live here again?????

My friend, a missionary that has been here about ten years, came in, her shirt wet from sweat, her hair dripping at the temples, and obviously flustered.

She said, "I'm so hot and so tired of the roads full of potholes that it takes me twenty minutes to drive what it should take five...my car has no AC and the window is stuck and wouldn't roll down."  She paused and continued, "I was thinking to myself, why is it I live here again?"

I think we all at times feel this way.  

We talked about it for a minute and then both had a good laugh and reminded each other why we put up with the physical discomforts of living in a third world country.

As a missionary, we need these reminders often.  And a friend who we can be transparent with, but yet that is not a complainer.  Sometimes we just need to vent a little about how we are tired of being sweaty, etc.:)

I am reading a book right now called "Kisses from Katie."  I LOVE it and am just taking my time.  It is about a young missionary who adopts about 8 (so far in the book) kids in Africa.  She was homecoming queen, headed to college and a trip to Africa changed her entire destiny.  I think the reason I love the book so much is the way she says things so perfectly explains how I feel too.  About adoption, about simply being obedient to Jesus' calling, about how it is to visit the states after living somewhere else where life is not so easy.

The other thing, also a thought brought on by my conversation with the missionary friend, is that being on the mission field is not just about what God does through you, but also what God does in you.  There are so many things in my life that have changed...but some you can't see.  It is weird to try to explain.  I look at things so differently than I did before.  I do things that I would have been scared to before.  I depend on God so much more heavily here.  I find myself seeking Him for the simplest things.  "Lord, I don't know how to pray for this woman who has just told me of terrible things in her life...that I cannot do anything for...only you can.", "Lord, PLEASE send a breeze or rain or something...I am overwhelmed with how hot I am right now.", "Lord, please keep my family safe as we travel this road that is dangerous and it is dark."  All things I could have prayed and have prayed in the states,  but pray with so much more faith and also urgency sometimes here.  A lady in my church said to me recently that you cannot survive in Belize without prayer...we live in a spiritual battle every second here.  And it really is true.

Yet, God is using us here.  Today, we pulled out of our neighborhood behind someone in our church, sporting the new LifeNet bumper sticker.  Two days ago, a short term missionary told me, I've heard of LifeNet.  I don't say that to brag that we are known, but rather that we are talked about.  People talk when God is doing something.  And He is.  One lady in our church who posts pictures often put as a comment recently, "you see all the pictures and they look the same, but what you can't see is the way He is changing us on the inside each week."  And just as He is changing Belizeans, He is changing us too.  Even my children, I see God doing things.  Sometimes maybe things they don't even recognize.  He is teaching them that He is real, involved in our lives, watching over us.

So, why is is that I live here again?  For God to work THOUGH me and IN me.  And it is happening.

Please Pray for Life Church as they travel here from Katy tomorrow.  Please Pray for what God is going to do at our third Life Advance this weekend.  It is a time of inner healing and God has showed up powerfully at the first two, as we expect Him to this time as well.

Family Photo Shoot

While we were in Katy, a family friend offered to do a photoshoot for our family.  I cannot say enough what a blessing it was for me.  This is our last year with Josh at home.  There are so many emotions and tears going on here...  So, it was especially special to capture this "moment" in time for me.  Yes, Josh will always be a part of our family...but it will be different not to wake him up every morning, see his handsome face across from me at every meal.  Josh is our in house comedian.  No one can make me laugh like that boy.  And I am just so proud of who Josh is.  

But aside from all that mushiness, Alice totally caught our family.  She caught my and Lee's relationship, she caught the kids relationships with each other, she caught how Erika is the boss of the family.  So, I wanted to share her photos with you.  Alice is extremely creative in her photography.  Some of my most treasured photos of Erika in Preschool, Mother/Daughter lunches, and now my family photo shoot...were done by her. If you are in the Katy area, and need a photographer, let me know:)

Enjoy  (and moms...I have printed some for you...will get to you soon:)

Don't you wish you knew what Josh just did???

All I can say after that is WOW, I am blessed that I get to share my life with these people.  I will remember these beautiful pictures the next time I want to not cook or not do laundry or not do anything for this AMAZING FAMILY that the Lord has given me:)

My New Normal

I have found that the longer I live in Belize, I take less pictures than I used to.  I am more challenged on what to "blog" about.  In the beginning, everything was new and different.  Every experience deemed worthy of a Post and picture.  But I find now that I have settled into a little routine.  I have learned to cope with things that at first seemed unbearable to me.  I have learned not to care if my hair is not always fixed perfect and if I don't wear makeup every day...or most days...because it will just sweat off.

Part of me moving to Belize was not just the culture change.  It was everything in my entire world literally changing...except for the four people I share my home with.  And in the beginning, even that was different because we shared our home with another person.  I went from working a couple days a week, sending my kids off to school every morning and getting them every afternoon, being pastor's wife of a good size, busy church....to being home ALL THE TIME, my kids being home ALL THE TIME, and my husband's office being in my home ALL THE TIME.  I actually love now that this is my life.  I actually always wanted these things deep down inside.  But it is a huge adjustment of busy American life to slower Belizean life and having your family with you all the time.  

One of the things I missed most was just some quiet time.  Just time with just me, just my thoughts.  Even driving to the grocery store no longer allows for this because I need help getting the stuff to the car when we are done.  There is no taking the cart to the car and unloading.  And I have lost bags a few times simply because it is very congested when you are paying and checking out and getting to the car.  SO, I need Tori to help me go to the store.  Getting the church office out of our room helped tremendously, though.  I feel like I can at least come in here, shut the door, listen to music and now take a bath (since my amazing husband had one installed for me).  But this has just been since about February that this was an option.  And this is assuming that I am not busy doing laundry, cooking, cleaning up, or homeschooling at the moment.

One of the other challenges that has become the new norm, yet is tinged in a little bit of sadness for me, is the holidays and birthdays with no family.  It took a while for me to identify why they were just not the same...but that is it.  I have tried very hard to begin to create some new traditions here...but definitely feel it when the events roll around.  I even miss celebrating birthdays with friends and family in the states that I did for years.  But again, I have learned to cope.  I have learned that when we go to the states, to savor the moments we have with family.  When they come here, to savor those moments as well.  It does not mean we have to go and do fancy stuff...just sitting around the house, living life,  playing games, living together.  It is all quite special and more meaningful now.  I have learned to live in the moment more.  To enjoy the moment for what it is, in all its simplicity.  All my holidays and birthdays are celebrated within one month...and it is a great month.

Not being able to run to Walmart every day or the mall or wherever was extremely challenging for me in the beginning.  Buying things from the states can be difficult and expensive.  I have learned to shop when I am there and be content with the things I forget to bring back.  I have learned not to be embarrassed to ask people to bring me things when they come.  This is my new norm.  We take care of our things because we know they cannot be easily replaced now.  We have learned to live simpler lives.  We are thankful when we are showered with blessings when people come to visit...and we are thankful when those times are far apart.  Because in reality, we are sooooo blessed.  I always have food to make for my family.  I may not always be the best cook, but unlike some around us, our bellies are always full.  God takes care of our needs and provides in unexpected ways sometimes.

Last week, I cleaned the windows, screens, fans in my and Erika's bedroom.  It took me four hours.  As I unscrewed each fan to wash the dirt and grime off of the blades, the screens, as I washed the windows that were absolutely filthy, I thought, I never remembered doing things like this in Katy.  But with the openness of our homes, our insides just get so much dirtier.  It was hard work....FOUR HOURS...and I was wiped for the rest of the day.  But, I must say, I love seeing the clean fans, the clean windows.  It makes it worth it.  I am thankful to have a home to keep up with.  I am thankful to have a home to host a Net Group that can have 50 people come.  Yes, my house gets dirty.  No, I do not like that part.  But I do like what I see.  I like that these kids could be anywhere else on a Thursday night and they choose to come here.  I like that sometimes we don't see kids for a long time...then they come back.  Because they know they can.  I am thankful for this home the Lord provided and that He gives me strength to do what I need.  I am thankful that it is a safe place for parents to drop their kids off and know that their kids are finding and growing in Jesus.

When I go to the states, I LOVE doing Laundry.  In fact, before moving to Belize, it was my favorite chore.  Pulling those warm, nice smelling clothes out of the dryer to fold in neat little stacks for each of my awesome family members.  Here, I do not enjoy doing the laundry as much.  I hang much of it to dry.  Sometimes I have to run out in the rain to rescue my almost-dry-clothes as a rainstorm comes on suddenly.  When it is time for me to fold the clothes, it is usually in the heat of the day.  I usually point a fan directly on me as I fold, because I am so hot from just taking them all down.   BUT I am thankful for a washing machine.  I am thankful that I have a dryer, although I try to use it sparily due to the high cost of electricity.  At least it is there as a back up:)  I am thankful for my family and that we have clothes to wear.  And I enjoy the month in the states when I can do laundry the old-fashioned way (for me).

All my norms are different now.  I feel that I long for my old life less and less.  Yes, I love when I visit the staes, but the longer I live here, this is my home.  Even with all the things that are challenging at times.  I don't know what the future holds.  Just the other day a Belizean took a picture of a sign I made (making fun of me:) and I said...Dont put that on Facebook or Instagram...and he said he would save it for when we move one day.  It was funny and weird.  It told me that the Belizeans know we won't be here forever.  In a way, that made me sad, in another way, it made me glad that he understands we are here to raise up Belizeans to one day Pastor and lead LifeNet.  We communicate it often, but that simple exchange spoke volumes.

I know this is a very long post...just lots of thoughts rolling around in my head.  This next week, Erika has a little dance camp at the YWAM base, then two teams from Katy come back to back.  We love when the teams come and we are exhausted when the teams come.  Immediately following the second team, my kids start back to school.  Josh has an extremely light load this year, and Tori has an extremely heavy load as she begins high school.  And Erika, well, Erika just loves school.  I am praying for a great year. It is hard to believe this will be our FOURTH year schooling at home.  Wow, that is definitely my new norm:)

Heart to Heart

Today we had to take our newest van to the mechanic in Spanish Lookout AGAIN to have him work on the butane tank that is still not right.  So Lee and Josh went in the van and the girls and I took the 30 minute drive through the windy, crazy roads in my SUV.

The car is sometimes the best place to have Heart to Hearts with my kids.  Here, we don't take as many long road trips, but lately it seems we have had some 30 min to hour long drives, which I love for that reason.

A very important topic came up.  How God honors us when we do right...even if noone else sees.  He blesses us all the time.  I know it is because He sees what sometimes noone else sees.  There was a situation years ago where we (our church family) worked really really hard and put a lot of money and time into something...and then another church literally came and took the credit.  We said nothing.  But almost days after that, someone came and gave Lee and I a prophecy that He saw...and that He would bless our congregation.  AND HE DID!!!

I guess Tori had never known that story.  We began to talk about some other things.  She shared, with tears, a conversation she had recently.  Someone who said if it weren't for her...her life would be in a very different place.  And it just blessed me.  Blessed me that my almost 15 year old daughter has impacted another life for Christ and already sees the fruit.  I told her that I believe there will be many more stories like that in her future.  Her sacrifice, of living here in Belize, is not futile.  Her life is a of great worth.  And Jesus sees.  And Jesus blesses her all the time.

It was just such a moving "moment".  She was greatly ministered to at YFN about her call here in Belize, separate from us.  How God is using her...and will continue to use her.  I am praying that on the hard days, the Lord will bring it back to her heart:)

The last two weeks in pictures

The Simmons family ministered at the Tutor Center.  The Lord was gracious and gave us a nice breeze.  I love how Erika wanted to read to the children just like us.  And she did great.

We also did a water outreach, ministered to the ladies in Maya Mopan, the Simmons led a NetGroup that recently branched and brought much encouragement, and taught Children's Church.

One afternoon, we went to visit Banana Bank.  My  kids love this monkey...and well, I guess he loves them too!!

These five are close as cousins...and have basically grown up together...

so blessed with this friendship that runs deep!!!

We got an overnight getaway in...and what a blessing...no tv, no internet...and the Lord gave us an unbelievable deal.  This place is new and needed business...and we were so blessed.

Then to top it off, a visit from the Brockinton cousins...we had a great day with them in the city!!

Surreal

This morning, we woke up REALLY early and headed to Belize City to fetch some important cargo off a ship!!!  Wayne, Jodie, Ryan and Tyler came on a cruise and spent the day with our family.  I kept telling Jodie it just didn't seem real.  Our life.  We live here, in Belize, and our friends and family are so amazing to come and visit us.  And bless us.

Ten times today my kids told me it was such a fun day for them.

You see the blessings have been flowing.  We went to the states, got spoiled.  Tom and Francine came for a week and SPOILED us rotten.  They left and then Wayne and Jodie came.  And SPOILED us.

I kept thinking today how blessed we are.  The family God placed us in.  The friends He has given us.  It seems that lately that I have been too busy to write much.  But it has been good busy.

We are so blessed.  But God knows exactly what we need.  We live in a country that can be very difficult at times.  Last Thursday, I took the Simmons to Banana Bank to swim, enjoy the animals, relax, in between the busyness of ministry.  In the back of my mind, I remembered in May, when someone was held up by guns on the bridge we have to cross to get there.  It is a little abandoned driving back to the pool.  But I felt that it was okay and it was safe now.  Then, Friday night, the next night, a missionary couple was driving that same road to their  home back in one of the villages.  They saw two men approaching with guns, so the man sped up, only to accidentally wreck the car.  His wife is now in critical condition.  One day after we had driven that same bridge.

So, now, a place that was fun to take my kids and relax...is now off limits.  You may think No Big Deal...find something else to do.  But we are already so  limited in the things we can do here.  So, it grieves me.  This crime.  Why they win.  It breaks my heart that a family who was here to serve is now dealing with what they are dealing with.  Please pray with us for Vicki Weaver...that there would be a miracle.  And that the men who did this will be caught and charged.

In the midst of a week of being showered with love, I am reminded of the reality of the crime in this nation.  

But I am also reminded of why we are here.  To change a nation.  One person at a time.  Or rather let Jesus change a nation.  Tonight, my home (and neighborhood via the open windows) will be filled with a beautiful night of worship.  A young people passionate about Jesus.  Because we need Him more here...so we seek Him more.   We NEED miracles here.  We NEED protection here.  We NEED healings here...so we pray, believe and see God move.

I am so greatly thankful for the people the Lord has put into my life here in Belize, and in the states.  There is a fullness of love and support and I am so appreciative.  Last week, the Simmons family came and blessed our family, our church family, our community.  They served in one capacity or another for seven days.  Even the simple act of hanging paper laterns that Aunt Jodie had bought for Tori's room.  Because it was important to her...so they made it important to do.  Today, my brother and sister in law brought treats and then just treated us to a really fun day and lunch.  We are so blessed.

Next post, I will get you some pictures...but I need to get ready to worship Jesus:)