Why is it that I live here again?????

My friend, a missionary that has been here about ten years, came in, her shirt wet from sweat, her hair dripping at the temples, and obviously flustered.

She said, "I'm so hot and so tired of the roads full of potholes that it takes me twenty minutes to drive what it should take five...my car has no AC and the window is stuck and wouldn't roll down."  She paused and continued, "I was thinking to myself, why is it I live here again?"

I think we all at times feel this way.  

We talked about it for a minute and then both had a good laugh and reminded each other why we put up with the physical discomforts of living in a third world country.

As a missionary, we need these reminders often.  And a friend who we can be transparent with, but yet that is not a complainer.  Sometimes we just need to vent a little about how we are tired of being sweaty, etc.:)

I am reading a book right now called "Kisses from Katie."  I LOVE it and am just taking my time.  It is about a young missionary who adopts about 8 (so far in the book) kids in Africa.  She was homecoming queen, headed to college and a trip to Africa changed her entire destiny.  I think the reason I love the book so much is the way she says things so perfectly explains how I feel too.  About adoption, about simply being obedient to Jesus' calling, about how it is to visit the states after living somewhere else where life is not so easy.

The other thing, also a thought brought on by my conversation with the missionary friend, is that being on the mission field is not just about what God does through you, but also what God does in you.  There are so many things in my life that have changed...but some you can't see.  It is weird to try to explain.  I look at things so differently than I did before.  I do things that I would have been scared to before.  I depend on God so much more heavily here.  I find myself seeking Him for the simplest things.  "Lord, I don't know how to pray for this woman who has just told me of terrible things in her life...that I cannot do anything for...only you can.", "Lord, PLEASE send a breeze or rain or something...I am overwhelmed with how hot I am right now.", "Lord, please keep my family safe as we travel this road that is dangerous and it is dark."  All things I could have prayed and have prayed in the states,  but pray with so much more faith and also urgency sometimes here.  A lady in my church said to me recently that you cannot survive in Belize without prayer...we live in a spiritual battle every second here.  And it really is true.

Yet, God is using us here.  Today, we pulled out of our neighborhood behind someone in our church, sporting the new LifeNet bumper sticker.  Two days ago, a short term missionary told me, I've heard of LifeNet.  I don't say that to brag that we are known, but rather that we are talked about.  People talk when God is doing something.  And He is.  One lady in our church who posts pictures often put as a comment recently, "you see all the pictures and they look the same, but what you can't see is the way He is changing us on the inside each week."  And just as He is changing Belizeans, He is changing us too.  Even my children, I see God doing things.  Sometimes maybe things they don't even recognize.  He is teaching them that He is real, involved in our lives, watching over us.

So, why is is that I live here again?  For God to work THOUGH me and IN me.  And it is happening.

Please Pray for Life Church as they travel here from Katy tomorrow.  Please Pray for what God is going to do at our third Life Advance this weekend.  It is a time of inner healing and God has showed up powerfully at the first two, as we expect Him to this time as well.