Lord, I give you Everything

Everything

Find me here, Speak to me

I want to feel you I need to hear you

You are the light That is leading me

To the place Where I find peace again

You are the strength That keeps me walking

You are the hope That keeps me trusting

You are the life To my soul

You are my purpose You are everything

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

[Cause] You're all I want, You're all I need

Everything, everything

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

Last night I was lying in bed just thinking of how my life is literally about to change before my eyes...this song beautifully describes how I am feeling right now.  The last two days have been long and exhausting.  I have gone from early morning until bedtime without much of a break in between.  But they have been good days.  Just not any time to reflect or think.  Everyone asks...How are you?  Are you ready?  How are you feeling about moving in 3 days and not having a home or a car?  Well, you know, I haven't even thought about it.  Our life this whole past week has been full of last blessings, because it has been the last time we will see most of those we love.  Everyone has gifts for us, love to pour on us, sweet words of life to give us.  It is a little overwhelming...and feels pretty good.  Pretty comfortable.

As I laid in bed last night, I just kind of prayed...God, I am so comfortable lying here.  My life is so perfect.  Why would I walk away from this and get on that plane on Wednesday?  Someone said to me yesterday, You guys go there alot, so I know you love it there...you must be going because you love it so much.  Not exactly.  The comment was innocent enough, but we are going out of obedience.  Yes, God has given us a passion for the Belizean people.  But our choice.  The easier choice would be to stay here.  But walking in disobedience would not have brought blessing on our family or church...so that was the wrong choice.

So, I think what will I feed my kids in a week and half when we move into our new home?  Moms think about stuff like that.  Where will I get this or that?  How will bathe Erika if there is only a shower?  Will she stay by me on the street or run everywhere like she has the last two days?  How long until I truly feel like Belize is my home?  That is a big one.

I do feel that I am ready.  I have a million things I need to do today.  Unpacking and repacking our suitcases.  Laundry...always.  A few errands.  A last ChickFilA lunch.  Our inlaws wanted to take us to a nice sit down restaurant since we are leaving.  Are you kidding?  My kids just want ChickFilA one more time...and for daddy to let them order fries...

I have many pictures of many people and many goodbyes.  I may post some later.  Not until I can use my own computer with wifi again.  My friend gave me a whole pack of beautiful pictures she took our last day at Life Church.  What a precious gift.  I will share some of them soon as well.  I was too busy to take many pictures that day, so have enjoyed looking through and will continue to enjoy them.

I am walking the reality.  We will leave America Feb 2, 2011, and head to Belize, Central America.  This is exactly 11 months after the day we stepped off the plane in Los Angeles for our intensive two weeks of Missionary Training and approximately 22 months after Lee first told me that he felt God wanted us to leave our comfortable life to pursue something different.  A life in a country that does not have everything the US has.  But God is still there.  He is there already, preparing things for me.  And my family.  Things that I can't prepare for.  Things that cannot happen with my flesh.  Things that only His spirit that goes before us, can do.

So....back to the beginning.  "How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You??"  Yesterday was a rough morning of waking up early and very tired.  I was very tired.  And didn't want to go anywhere especially in the rain, with a fussy preschooler.  But as I listened to this song on my itouch, I just felt God's peace come over me, and encourage me.  That we are not in this alone.  That we are just following Him.  On a very DAILY walk.  Each day I have to once again ask myself if I really trust Him with my life?  With my childrens' lives?  In the US, I don't feel as much like I had to do that.

I welcome your prayers.  I am thankful for them.  I feel them.  This week is busy, yet I am calm, for the most part.  And ready.  Yep, I am ready.  Ready for the adventure.  I don't know any other way to express it.



Final Preparations and Lots of Goodbyes

I have not posted all week.  I have been busy living life and telling everyone Goodbye...  It is emotionally draining...  It is kind of like in the moment, I hold it together, then I get in the car or in the house and think...I am not going to see that person for at least a year and half...and then it hits me.  Or I read a letter they wrote me.  Ooh.  It is hard to describe.  I am in this place where I am seriously ready to go...  Then at the same time, can I stay a little longer?

This morning, the FMI team from all over the country/world prayed and had words over us.  It was very special.  We have all these cheerleaders being our friends and families, as well, rooting us on.  Encouraging us.  Standing with us as we really, for real, no turning back now, embark on this journey.  Every day, we get one more thing accomplished.  And then the next day holds its own lists of things to do, then waiting, because we can't do any more of the list until the next day.

One thing I would ask for continued prayer is for clarity of thought, and peace, as we make this transition.  Especially on Wednesday.  It is hard enough traveling with 3 kids, 15 suitcases, but also a dog???!!!!!????  And it is supposed to be raining here  AND there.  Doesn't sound too fun.  But I know it is my attitude that will make the difference.  So pray for me...the mom...cause my attitude will definitely set the tone.  And I want it to be good:)

God shows us new things every day.  I enjoyed taking Lee to his parents church today, where he works, and just talking to him about what God is showing him and I.  Sometimes the bigger picture is a little difficult to see until we are looking backward.  Then it becomes so clear.  You see His Hand on so many little details.  We think we know it all and can figure it out.  But we really just need to figure out how to listen.  To HIM.  Not ourselves, not our flesh.  Our flesh gets sooo in the way.  I am talking to myself first of all...trust me.  I realize this.  But when we are in tune, really in tune, with God, our lives just flow.  It is so cool.

We shipped all our worldly possessions that we still own (except what we are taking on the plane) yesterday.  It is kind of weird.  It is one of those things where OK God, please watch our for our stuff, even though we know it is just stuff.  Please give us SOMEWHERE really amazing to put all that stuff in like 16 days...  And please give us a vehicle to drive around to find somewhere really amazing to put all that stuff:)

We have decided that the whole family will be dieting starting in the next month.  Living with my mother in law is yummy...way too yummy.  I think it is just all the "oh this will be the last time for a while that we can have this...or that.  Or we won't have chickfila in Belize, so, you know" and on and on.  Josh is so excited to have reached 100 lbs.  I am not sharing in the joy.  Neither are any of the adults in this home.  But hopefully, we are correct in thinking our life will be healthier in Belize...no fast food, more walking, less driving...  It just has to be... 

So, back to the goodbyes.  It is so crazy.  Like we are just hanging with our friends, just like it always was, and then there comes this point in the conversation where we begin to tell each other how special they are or how much we mean to each other.  And then it just is so hard to leave.  Like last night when we left our youth pastors house.  We were all so tired...but just could not leave...and then just had to crack up as their four year yells to us..."Have fun in Belize...speaking Spanish"...well, at least we left on a laugh.

Today has been a day of just getting things done, laundry, cleaning the car, cooking, cleaning up from cooking, school.  I took a shower, but no makeup today.  I will do that tomorrow.  I promise.

I am doing well.  My kids seem to be well.  Lee seems great.  God is amazing.

Our Farewell and Release

I am so tired today.  I began the medication that I will be taking until I receive a full healing from the Lord:)  I think it is making me drowsy, but the busy weekend and rainy weather certainly are not helping.

I just wanted to share some thoughts on yesterday's service.  I had a difficult time loading the video Pastor Adam created, and when I was finally sucessful, we were out the door to the doctor, so I could not comment.

Yesterday was just an amazing day for me.   I was blessed to actually have time with the Lord before church, which is crazy considering we had a houseful of people.  Of course, my wonderful Mother in Law made breakfast for us.  So that helped...but my family wouldn't have gotten a full breakfast on a Sunday anyway:)

I woke up just happy and peaceful, not teary at all.  It was later that I realized that it was a Sunday of total release.  I was visiting a church where I used to serve, but I don't anymore.  I am so proud of Sam and Susanna.  They are doing great.  We have been to church just a handful of times, since the Lord placed Sam as Pastor there.  And each time, I am so proud of how God is using them.  Yesterday, the worship was just amazing.  Of course, Darren had asked us to select the songs..so they were all of our favorites.  I looked around and there were many new faces, which is great because the church is growing with new life.  And then some old faces that came just to see us off.

I had really felt that I wanted to share something, but did not know what.  I have so many thoughts and feelings..

But this is what the Lord gave me during worship...

Today is all about obedience.  9 years ago, we were simply obedient to start a church here in Katy, TX.  Now as you release us to once again to be obedient and send us to Belize, we release you to continue what God has began here.  Obedience to the Lord brings greater peace and blessings than you'll ever know.

My love for the people was strong.  It always will be.  But I am not their pastor's wife anymore.  The mantle has been passed.   And I truly felt that yesterday.  I feel free to be excited and embrace this new journey, this mission the Lord has us on.  I no longer grieve what is behind and am able to look forward.  I no longer grieve the things or people we have to leave but rather feel a new freedom to move on.

I love you guys...always will love you.  Will always be your friend...but that is it.  God has annointed a new pastor for Life Church and is adequately equipping him to fulfill His Vision.

Oh, and I was proud of my mother who sat beside me...I was afraid she would just make me cry all through the service...but she did awesome...glad you guys and my in-laws were there for support.

pretty cool, eh?

Watch This Amazing Video Slideshow of the past 9 years at Life Church

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh4OyPYMnw

Our Farewell from Life Church

Good Morning

The blessed and nervous and emotional day is here...when we knew we were called to Belize, I knew this day would come.  How would I ever be able to stand in front of this congregation and be sent off?  Well, I didn't need to worry about it...it was forever away.

This morning I wake up with all sorts of feelings.

I am excited.  I am laughing at a video a fellow pastor couple posted on my facebook page.  I am sure there will be lots of laughing this morning, because that is how it has been for me at Life...9 years full of joy, deep belly laughter, and deep gratitude to my Savoir for all He has done for me.  That is why I wanted to stay here forever.

But with that Joy, that has also been great heartache, deep relationships that I am so sad to leave, and crying out before my Lord in a way that I never have before.

Because we have seasons in our lives.  And I have accepted and embrace and am so excited that this is our season to move to Belize and take what has been poured into me here to the people who need it there.  This is once again the season to plant...I have so enjoyed the Harvest of this plant in Katy...

I know this morning will be filled with all wonderful precious things said about Lee and I.  And I appreciate that.  I am sure that our staff will somehow embarass me...because that is who they are:)  And I know there will be lots of tears.

But something so neat, so special...I will baptize a lady that I had the privelege to disciple when I wasn't even the Pastor's wife anymore.  And that is so cool, because we don't need a title to serve...we need just to serve.  And the joy that follows is so amazing.  It is a joy to be a part of her journey.  And a joy that it falls on such a special day.

I have bought my waterproof mascara this morning, not because I am too prideful to have makeup all over my face, but I want to just be free to feel the emotions of today.  If I want to cry, I want to be able to cry.  I have learned to feel, is to be alive.  And I don't want to stuff my feelings...today I want to feel it all, the joy of this next step, the sorrow of leaving, the love from a church body who has poured into my entire family for 9 years.  I want to enjoy every aspect of what today holds.

I want to be able to enjoy worship, not worrying about what other people think.  Because it is a two fold thing happening today.  It is a full release of my life, once again, to God.  To be willing to serve and obey Him no matter what the cost.  And to say SEE YA LATER to an amazing group of people and fully release them into the hands and hearts of a new capble pastoral family.  There will be a lot of releasing going on...so that God will be free to do as He needs to--in all of us.

I love you, people of Life Church...

The Blessings of God

Lately, I have just been blessed left and right...its crazy.

I'm just overwhelmed with how God is just showing me He loves me by sweetly loving on me through the people around me.

A couple weeks ago, a young college student friend blessed me with these Adidas tennis shoes.  They are not what I would normally buy, but I LOVE THEM.  I wear them all the time.  It is like I am morphing into a different, more active person in them...preparing for a more walking lifestyle in Belize.   Not the dressier heels or flats I would normally wear.  Then tonight we had dinner with friends and at the end, we were talking about how cute her shoes were...Tori had just bought some similar ones with her Christmas money...and I thought how comfy they seemed.  My friend slipped them off and said they are too big for me and my daughter, what size do you wear?  Oh well, try them on...and next thing I knew, I was walking out the door with these totally comfy WALKING SHOES.  I did not pray for, ask God for, need, these shoes...God just blessed me.  Because like I want to bless my kids and make sure they have everything they need, even before they ask...God is making sure I have good shoes to walk in as I move to a nation where walking will be what I do.

Some other things that we have  been blessed with lately...someone gave us a cot when we were about to go out and purchase one, someone, or a few someones have taken us or paid for our meals...sometimes we didn't even know til they were gone, we have enjoyed many gift cards these last weeks here in America, the lady who did my hair a couple of weeks ago did not fully charge me for her services, but rather blessed me for part of it, and of course, many people are pouring into us financially as we prepare to go to Belize.  Today I was given favor at a store that there was a two week wait for a service I needed and when I said, oh, well, then I cannot do that because I do not have time...they did it for me immediately and blessed me as we headed to Belize.  When Erika and I went shopping today, we pulled into a front row parking spot at a place that just doesn't happen...and a huge miracle of healing.  I had begun to get a migraine today and Erika and I prayed for healing as we got into the car...the huge migraine never came.  And that has never happened before.  Usually I am bound to bed for several hours of very intense pain and nausea.  But today I just had a dull headache for a couple of hours that went away...

I am not saying everything goes my way all the time.  Just the last few weeks, I have just really felt God's hand in a very real way.  It is cool and I just want to acknowledge and give thanks to Him.  It is as if He is saying I love you and just want to show you.  And I want to tell you that I love Him too.  And am so thankful to have Him on my side.  That He is for me, not against me.

Have an amazing evening and spend some time with your Creator...He is pretty amazing.

Just some thoughts...

We have just returned from our last road trip for a while in the US.  It was like a walk through our spiritual history.  It is really actually so cool, because we have been all over this year, visiting our past before we enter this next leg of our future.  We were able to go to New York and Ohio, and visit old friends in Kentucky and now this trip were able to go to Abilene and Dallas.

I have so many feelings, that I feel it will be difficult to express them in any order, but I will do my best.

We started the weekend enjoying both DP museums, then relaxing at the hotel, before heading to church Sunday morning in Abilene.  This was where we started our marriage.  Where we bought our first home.  We took a picture, but it is nothing like it used to be, so I don't want to post it here.  But this church was such a place of healing for us.  We had been in an out of balance church the year before and needed healing before moving on in ministry.  Pastor Frank and Ivalene were just the people we needed during that time.  It is hard to believe their teen age daughter is actually just two years younger than me, yet we were in such different worlds.  I was a newlywed, working and in college, and she was still in high school.  I am so thankful for the time of just reconnecting with her this weekend, as our kids played together....hers kind of in the middle of mine agewise.  Pastor Frank really took us under his wing, like a father, when we were there.  It was such a comfort to me, in a time, of moving, being newly married, being away from everything I knew, and tryig to figure out what it meant to be a wife, go to school, and clean an apartment/home.  Being in Abilene this weekend was just a reminder of that time in my life.  A good time.  A happy time.  When the world was before us, and we weren't too wounded yet:)  I even felt like, it was if time had stopped, that everything about our relationship way back then, was still the same.  Pastor Frank was still going out of his way, just to be a blessing to Lee and I, and now our children.  I am very thankful to the spiritual father that he is...

Then we headed to Dallas, but not before hitting the Abilene Zoo, the only place I know of, that you can feed the giraffes directly out of your hand on this tall bridge.  I think this is something my kids will never forget.  I am so thankful we made this stop.

It had been cold that morning, but warmed up just enough to be a beautiful day at the zoo.

Once we got to Dallas, we were able to spend time with my brother and his wife.  They were so kind to host us, as we hung out til Wednesday Service at the Oaks.

Tuesday, we went and visited the group of kids that are attending CFNI from Life Church in Katy.  It is always a good time, full of laughing, yet seeing how God is using these young people.  How awesome for their lives to be surrended to God and whatever He wants for their lives.  Here we are eating at a restaurant...I really felt like we were in Belize...so cool....yeah, except for that...it wasn't hot:)

erika is blocking me, but i am okay with that:)

Courtney provided the kid care for the day...hope she wasn't too tired for her real job after that.

Erika busting some moves, while we hung out at the girls apartment...it is soo small.  Made me be very thankful for my circumstances.  We are living with people, but have so much room compared to these girls...

My brother's wife with the girls...she made us feel so welcome and loved while we were there.  I am so thankful for my new sister...

These last pictures were taken as we were about to load and go to the church I went to as a teen.  I was so nervous.  Isn't that so funny ?  Almost like I was in Junior High again...I wanted every hair perfect, for my kids to be perfect, etc.  It had already been an emotional day for me...spending the day with my brother and saying goodbye to him and his wife for a while...Even though we don't see them often, I really will miss them...

Okay, the last thing about this trip I want to share is just my thoughts from last night...so many.  First of all, we met for a little while with the Pastor.  He was my youth pastor, when I was in High School, and someone I really looked up to.  Pastor Scott challenged me in ways spiritually that I can never explain.  He taught me so much and expected much from me.  He always spoke life over me, that God had big plans for me, so that I needed to make decisions so God could use me.  I was called into the ministry in a youth service there, before I ever met my husband.  I was challenged not to date, unless it was a godly man who I would consider marrying...thus was saved great heartbreak my teenage years.  I only dated and married and loved one man, because of that challenge.  God literally brought my husband to where I was...the church I worshipped.  Being there last night, reminded me of all of this.  And how, when Lee proposed, I knew there was only one person that I would want to do our wedding.  So, Pastor Scott did it...and it was an amazing, annointed wedding of a sending off of sorts into a life a ministry.  We were the first of probably hundreds of weddings he has done.  What an honor to get to hang with him for a little while, as now he is pastor of a very large, very busy congregation.  And what an honor that he would allow us to share about our missions trip.

Lee did a great job.  I was proud of him, as I always am.  Lee is an excellent communicator.  I appreciate that gifting in him.  I feel I could never speak in front of people like he does, yet realize that I must be open to whatever the Lord has for me, and never put myself in a box.  Anyway, after he spoke, they brought our whole family forward and laid hands on us, as a sort of sending out...it is two weeks from yesterday that we leave...I really was not expecting how emotional that would be for me.  Most of the people I know from 20 years ago are not even there anymore, but I felt such love and sincerity from the people.  We did have some people from the congregation in Katy there, and I knew a couple of people, but it was amazing how powerful this prayer time was for me.  I just wept as they prayed.  Then we moved into a time of the Word and another staff pastor shared on giving it up to follow Christ...it was so relevant to what we are walking through.  After that, we had a time of personal prayer, and the lady who helps Pastor Scott came and prayed with me...it was just such a special time with the Lord for me last night.  I really do not even know how to express.  It was like, Okay, here we go.  We are ready.  We have been obedient, and God is in all the details.  And I just felt, more than ever before, God just telling me, that He has good plans for my family, just to rest in Him.  Trust Him.  That He is going to use my children, and we are just to follow what He is doing there.  That He has a home for us, and just not to worry.  It is just so amazing, and I already know, but to be reminded of what a personal God we serve who loves us so much.  And what peace comes from walking in His will.  Really trusting Him.

We went to Chili's after ward with the crew from CFNI and this precious girl paid for our meal.  We did not even know until she was gone and we asked for our bill.  God is amazing...and our provider.  We got in the car at 11 pm for the 4 hour ride home.  I was tired, but I could tell Lee was really tired.  I stopped and got a coffee and drove the ride home, listening to everyone sleeping, while I just worshipped.  I had such a special time with the Lord last night.  It was just a great refocusing of all these details of moving to another country...and all the feelings I have about that.  Just a time of refocusing on why we are doing this.  And a reminder of how personal our God is.

So we prepare to go to Life Church this Sunday, for our farewell service.  I know there will be many tears, as there are so many people I love deeply there.

Ending, this is the scripture that I just feel is so relevant for me today...

Isaiah 43

 

“ Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name;

You are Mine.

2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.

When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,

Nor shall the flame scorch you.

3 For I am the LORD your God,

The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I gave Egypt for your ransom,

Ethiopia and Seba in your place.

4 Since you were precious in My sight,

You have been honored,

And I have loved you;

So, today, I am feeling ready, ready for journey ahead....

Road Trip: Destination--the Land of Dr. Pepper

I must start this post with : WIFI, oh how I have missed you.  I have spent the evening reacquainting myself with my laptop...I have missed using my own computer.  I am thankful to have had internet acess, but it is nice to be on my own devices again.

Secondly, my family really loves Dr. Pepper.  Last summer, we had a coin jar, and all money was contributed by the entire family.  We had to make a decision how that money would be used.  When this trip to Abilene and Dallas was set up, it was unanimous that we should have a day celebrating Dr. Pepper.  And I must say, it all went as planned, and was a lot of fun.

We woke up bright and early and were on the road by 6 am.  It was rainy and cold.  I was really cold, but the rest of my family was not, so I just bundled up and enjoyed the car ride.  Off to Waco we went.  We had a special treat of ChickFila for breakfast.  So yummy.  Then actually got to the Dr. Pepper museum early.  So waited patiently in the car.

Yes, she does like her photo taken:)

She NEVER gets Dr. Pepper, so this was a real treat...two in one day.  Doesn't she look happy?  Oh, and the hot Dr. Pepper with a lemon slice...I am going to do this at home.  It was delicious.

Our loot...the jelly beans were gone before we left Waco.


Then off a couple more hours to Dublin.  I must say, we actually enjoyed this one more.  It was smaller, more rustic, but the people really took ownership of this place.  It was like it was run by family.  And it was way cheaper...yet, they gave us each a bottle of their DP when we started the tour.

waiting for lunch...erika didn't want any of those "spicy" chips, just ate half the bag while waiting for her sandwich

Dear Dublin, you truly have the best Dr. Pepper in the world...not kidding...

matching tees and matching smiles


So, after a fun day of Dr. Peppering, we came to Abilene.  It is fun driving around, remembering starting our married life here 18 years ago.  We drove by our house...the first home we ever bought.  It doesn't look so good, but it has been a lot of years.  It was a blessing the year we had it.  Tomorrow I am looking forward to seeing the pastor who gave us a chance, a start in ministry.  It was such a special healthy church for us to make a start as a married couple.  We both were in ministry before marriage, but this was different.  This was our first job as a married couple, per se.  So, anyway, I am excited about tomorrow.

For dinner, we enjoyed Taco Bueno.  The original one is here in Abilene, but I don't know where.  The pastor used to always take us there.  It was so good.  I hadn't had it in years.

One hiccup in our trip is our car.  We have been blessed with this car, but it has had its little issues along the way.  We planned to sell it next week, and as we left Dublin, the check engine light came on.  We just had it at the dealership last week...so this was not good.  The blessing is that we took it to an auto zone, and it seems to be okay, and the light should go off in a few days.  But we are on a long road trip and need our car to be reliable, and we cannot sell it with the check engine light on.  So, it once again raises the question if we should just ship it to Belize and drive it until we can purchase a van.  So please pray for wisdom for us, as we would need to make a decision in the next few days.

I am feeling the weight of the move upon us.  This little trip is a nice distraction, but I am having a hard time sleeping, thinking of all the details...there are just so many little things...and it seems we think of new ones each day.  There are so many exact plans to be made, but it just isn't that easy.  It is very weird to think about how dramatically my life is about to change in just 2 1/2 weeks.  Knowing that I am saying my final good-byes to some people this week...well, not final, but see you i am not sure whens....trying to deal with my own emotions, and those around me.  Those who are sad we are leaving and that we are sad to leave.  My children, my husband.  We are filled with excitement about this adventure, and sadness about the things and people we leave behind.  Every day it becomes more real.  Things we may never get time to do...and things we are trying to do while we can.

Tonight, we relax in a hotel room.  We swam in the indoor pool earlier, the kids are bathed and piled into one bed, watching the Disney channel.  Lee is snoozing beside me...the day's driving has caught up to him.  And me, catching up on all my internet fun and about to read a book.  Tomorrow will be a busy day again. 

We have learned how to live out of suitcases.  It has become so natural now.  Even this morning when Lee packed the car, he was like, we are so stremlined now.  Like we have this system down.  We will get home late Wednesday night, do laundry, and head to Katy again on Friday for another day full of errands...and onto our farewell service at Life.  OOOOO...can't go there.  Looking forward but NOT.  It makes me so sad to think of telling everyone see ya later...I love them all so much.  Then the next weekend will be filled with family see ya laters.

Okay, no more dwelling on that.  Time to brush our teeth and settle in for a good night's sleep:)

Enjoying my Family tonight

 My honey always talks about this place, the Snak Shak, that his mom would take him for special treats when he was growing up.  My mother and father in law even used to go here on dates, so this place has been around.  My MIL has taken the kids here, but I've never been, so on this incredibly freezing night, Lee gave me a break from cooking...and to bless our kids for being halfway through the school year.  Good job, guys.

So, we bundled up and headed to the snak shak...

                           We have ordered and are just waiting....don't I have an amazing family?

Here is our good ole Texas food...and of course, we have that white gravy.  Tori was just saying we need to ask people to send us this when we move to Belize, but maybe I can learn to make it from scratch:)

And, if someone in the blog world could help, why won't my pics from Picnik stay straight?  Its driving me crazy....But this is me, fresh from an afternoon of pampering.  Don't I look relaxed?

How Relevant...

One thing that I truly love about Homeschooling with a Christian Curriculum, is how edifying and spiritually building it is for my children...and today, me.

This morning has been hectic.  There are many difficulties of homeschooling, as far as being  home and keeping the kids on task, littler one quiet and busy, trying to eliminate outside distractions, while still performing all the things that it takes to keep a home running...add into that not having your own home, so there are more people, not proper work areas, and on and on.

So, yesterday, I took Erika in the morning to go grocery shopping and to purchase a larger suitcase for her at Goodwill, and I must say, we hit the jackpot for little money.  Then I came home and my in-laws fed the kids, while I headed to the beauty salon.  It took four hours, but I love how I look, so that is good right?  But school was pretty much on their own yesterday.  Today was a day of catch up, refocusing, and preparing to send everything into Lighthouse Academy, where they are enrolled.  Friday is their halfway point for the year.

I feel accomplished.  My hair was a big thing I wanted to deal with.  It just looked awful, bleached out, only half done, in need of a haircut, etc.  So I wanted to try something new and went to my MIL's hairdresser.  She made me look gorgeous.   My hair is very different, much darker, redder, and STRAIGHT.  Yep, she blew this curly hair straight and I really like it.  I am going to try it on my own soon, but just left it today from yesterday.  I look really different, but I like it.  I think I look more grown up:)  My other accomplishment was just dealing with all the school stuff, some tax gathering, and medical bills stuff. 

Now my in-laws are off with Tori on errands.  She got a sewing machine for Christmas, which she has not even opened because it is sealed for shipping.  They are buying material for her to keep busy when we move.  Erika is resting quietly, watching a movie, and my hunter, Josh, is on the back porch with a BB gun.  Only in Texas:)

Back to my opening paragraph.  Today has been a day of lots to do, with a busy, bored preschooler on my hands, and two older children (cough, ahem) working very hard.  But somehow, we finished before lunch, which Erika helped me make...homemade pizza.  And upon cleanup of that, I began to grade all their work I had not gotten to yet.

I was just really blessed, as I checked Josh's English pace.  I already knew the content of what he was learning from helping him earlier, but then I saw this poem, that I felt quite relevant to some of my feelings right now:

Alone with Thee

(by a missionary widow to Ecuador right before lost her husband unexpectantly)

Perhaps some future day, Lord, Thy strong hand

Will lead me to the place where I must stand

Utterly alone.

I do not know Thy plan for years to come.

My spirit finds in Thee its perfect home,

Sufficiency

Lord, all my desire is before Thee now;

Lead on--no matter how.

I trust in Thee.

I am at a place of total dependence on Him, not Lee.  We lean on each other, but I can't go into this on Lee's faith.  It has to be my own.  This is my own walk.  This is between the Lord and I.  Either I trust Him or not? 

I have moments of real excitement, mixed with worry of how all the details will go.  I have had many different trials, circumstances in my lifetime, where I have had to walk by faith...this is kind of feeling like a big one.  I had really thought we would have a home at this point.  Maybe ship our car.  But neither of those are happening.  But it is okay.  God is stretching me.  I have it so good.  I just need to remember that as I walk through these next several weeks.

I would like to post pics of my new "do", but due to lighting, there just aren't any good ones...Surely we will take pics of our trip this weekend...then you will see.

Count the Cost

This is just a little snippet today...my conversation with God this morning....

This morning I woke up thinking 3 more weeks.  Why am I not bouncing with joy?  Why is it not all happy and giddy that I feel?  I know I am in God's will.  We have the financial support we need.  We are ready to go.  And I feel this is what God revealed to me.  When we become Christians, we have to die to ourselves, die to our flesh.  Of course, this journey is nothing like people who are being persecuted for their faith or have to live in fear of saying the name of Jesus.  But every day we get closer, every thing I give away, I have to die once again to my flesh.  Every day I get closer to getting on that plane, not for a one week trip, but rather a move, a new life, a new home in Belize, is one step closer to really giving up the luxuries of this life.  Oh, I have counted the cost.  But still I willingly move forward.  Because God's will is awesome.  I like feeling close to Him.  I like seeing His hand evermore on my life.  I really like the PEACE. 

 Let me give you one little example of how God spoils me, His daughter.  We have been needing to get something covered by the warranty fixed on our car.  It has dragged til now they are working on it today.  So they had to give us a loaner.  So, I get to drive this sporty little brand new car to run my errands yesterday today and maybe tomorrow.  It is fun.  But I don't have to pay for it, so that is funner.  See, it is the little things.  The little things that I can acknowledge God spoiling me and loving on me.  Or the starbucks cards people gave me just because recently.  You see, I don't need Starbucks, but what a special fun treat I get to enjoy.

But I am happy and ready to go, but I know the cost.  I know every day won't always be fun...that I will have to find fun a new way.  New things to do that are fun.  New friends.  New ways to stay cool when I am so hot I don't know what I will do.  New ways to laugh as we bump around on the Belizean roads.  New ways to die to my flesh and once again fully surrender my life to Christ, no matter what He asks.

Counting Down

The time is here.  We are 3 1/2 weeks out from our big adventure.  It is a little overwhelming.  We were looking at pics of Belize from past mission trips this morning, and I was thinking, "wow, this is so real.  I am freezing cold today and will be sweating like crazy in a few weeks."  I have all the comforts of America today, and will have to figure out where to live and what to drive in a few weeks.  It is hard to wrap my head around.

We are still creating the moments...the memories.  This weekend, we spent the night at my parents house.  It was fun.  We ate dinner, played games, stayed up late.  The weird thing is, I never had thought about the fact that we never slept at their house much.  We always have lived pretty close, or they were the ones who visited.  Being pastors, we just didn't travel as much, because we couldn't.   Or we would sleep over with them at a condo or something.  So it was fun.  And a new memory was created.

Then, this Sunday, Lee preached at a Pastor friend of ours.  We have been friends for years...and they are the reason we have Erika.  But when you are a Pastor yourself, you never get to visit your friend's church.  So we really enjoyed.  Just seeing how they worship, meeting their church family, and chowing on some yummy mexican food for lunch.  This family really inspires me.  They both work full-time, have had two birth children, adopted, and fostered many children, and pastored on top of that.  And they are just such a blessing to be around.

Elizabeth and Courtney

Sunday night, we had the joy of having Elizabeth and Sierra spend the night here.  That is always a good set up for a laugh.  Elizabeth started off the evening's festivities by coming out in her red footie pajamas.  All I can say is Only ELIZABETH.  And then when Erika and her started dancing for us, it was all I could do to try to contain my laughter.  We had a great time and they even offered for Erika to sleep between them on the fold out couch.  I tried to warn them that she is an out of control sleeper.  Erika woke up very rested this morning, while Elizabeth and Sierra headed straight to the coffee pot.  Poor girls.

This week is busy, doing this and that.  Saturday, we will get up early and head to both Dr. Pepper museums on our way to Abilene.  I am real excited about this trip.  This will be where we started our married life 18 years ago.  I was so young, and didn't know how to cook, or balance work and school and church life...but there are so many amazing memories for me of this time in our lives.  I loved that church, the pastor and family, all the staff, and the church family.  I can't wait to see everyone and just enjoy Abilene.  We don't know if we will have time, but would love to take the kids to the zoo while we were there.  We went so many times when we were there.  We bought our first home there, grew up a little there, had my appendix removed there.  Lots of memories.  Then we will head to Ovilla.  Lee will be sharing at the church of the pastor who married us all those years ago.  It is a great honor to get this oppurtunity because it is a large congregation.  And again, so many memories.  The church is in a different location now, but it is where I went from 7th grade til marriage.  Where I learned all I know about the Church Nursery.  Where I really grew spiritually more than any other.  Where I got Baptized and Married.  I'm excited just to be there.  It will be a very special trip for me.

I sit here, on the brink of my life changing.  I don't really know how I prepare myself.  I have read all the missions books, I have prayed, surrendered my will to the Lord,  I have packed all I know to take with us, I have tried to soak up my time with my friends and family.  But how do you truly prepare for what really is the unknown?  How do you prepare, when you are moving somewhere without a car or a home?

Yesterday, one of the songs we sang, I haven't sang in forever, but it just stirred my heart so much....


This alabaster jar is all I have of worth


I break it at Your feet, Lord, it's less than You deserve

You're far more beautiful, more precious than the oil

The sum of my desires and the fullness of my joy

Like You spilled Your blood, I spill my heart

As an offering to my King



Here I am, take me as an offering

Here I am, giving every heartbeat for Your glory

Take me



This time that I have left is all I have of worth

I lay it at Your feet, Lord, it's less than You deserve

And though I've little strength, and though my days are few

You gave Your life for me so I will live my life for You



Like You spilled Your blood, I spill my heart

As an offering to my King



Here I am, take me as an offering

Here I am, giving every heartbeat for Your glory

Here I am, take me as an offering

Here I am, giving every heartbeat for Your glory, take me



Worthy, worthy, You are worthy, worthy is the Lord

Worthy, worthy, You are worthy, worthy is the Lord



Here I am, take me as an offering

Here I am, giving every heartbeat for Your glory

Here I am, take me as an offering

Here I am, giving every heartbeat for Your glory

Take me

Our last Few Weeks in Pictures

 

So, here are some pics of our last few very busy weeks...I apologize that they are unedited, but this is life...real life...some pics were taken by children, or as this first, a self portrait, just before our night out in Galveston a few weeks ago...

Here are the kidoes on Christmas Eve, about to head to Candlelight service.  Don't know it won't let me turn it straight.  If only we would have known, Tori was already feeling bad.

Sorry, Mom, for this next one.  We headed up the day after Christmas to Dallas.  Tori was still not feeling great, but we had a great time with my parents and brother and his wife...and she is an amazing cook.  I realize that I do not take enough photos...Mom is probably laughing because Josh is covering his head!!!

I think this one was by Josh...


Then we headed back to Houston to prepare for my buddy and her family to come in town.  It was a quick trip, but wonderful.

A couple days after that, we headed back to Katy to enjoy New Years at Times Square.  We all had a blast...

 

my nephew prepping the score board for us

Two beauties

Last Sunday after church, the pastor and his family took us to this down home cooking restaurant

Heading back to Katy for final haircuts for the kids.  She is our favorite haircutter:)

Then a sleepover at my parents house...

Josh making his third fire...so we can roast marshmallows tonight...




So, sorry again for the unedits...I need to take more picures.  That will be a new goal for me...

Have a great weekend.



HERE WE GO

Wow, my heart is fluttering in a million directions right now.  We just bought our plane tickets for the biggest adventure of our lives!!!  In less than one month, we will move not that far away geographically, but a world away from all I know.  I am excited, terrified, happy and sad all at once.  I am overwhelmed.  All we have planned for is here...we are on the brink of our future.  I am ready as I know to be, but still it is feeling real today.  I am feeling the pressures, the joys, the craziness of what we are doing.

You see, in the natural, we are crazy.  Pulling our kids out of public school, selling all we have, and moving to a country that is not safe as the good ole USA.  We are crazy to move where we will sweat all the time, not have Chickfila :), Walmart, and all the other comforts we have here.  But you see, we don't live in the natural.  We live in the place of God-seeking.  Seeking His will for our lives.

And you know what, He makes it all work together.  Every little detail.  Even the family that He already sent there who will pick us up that first day.  And now we are just waiting to see what home he provides, what kids of transportation.  We are truly walking by faith right now, not by sight.  We are trusting Him to be in the details.  To protect us.  To guide us to exactly what neighborhood He desires for us.  And it is not as scary as one would think.  His plans for us are good, not evil.  I have an awful lot of trust in my Daddy God.  I have to...

So, we are off to Katy tonight to work on more errands...doctors appts for Erika, car being fixed, etc.  Life is busy the next few days, then calm again soon.

Balancing it all...

SO, the busyness has begun...but the funny thing is that I am not busy all the time.  It is like we have clusters of it, then are tired for a few days recuperating.  I have been real tired, so am wondering if my thyroid is slowing down now (except I think it is not there anymore, who knows??)...but I also had a really busy weekend...so it is hard to know exactly.

This morning, we got up and got our free Chickfila Spicy Chicken Bisquits.  They were really good, then Erika and headed to Wally World, while Lee, his parents and the older kids came home to start their first day of school after break.  Lot of errands ran by Lee and Tricia this afternoon, while I held down the fort here.  I am very comfortable here, which is nice.  But I am still ready for my own home.  But again, thankful for this time.  I will really miss my family when we move.  Both sets of grandparents are planning to come visit us our first fall, so that will be nice, as we head into our first Holiday Season alone.

This week once again entails many errands in Katy.  More doctors, bloodwork, haircuts that didn't get done last week.  Our car being fixed so we can sell it...and be safe on our long drive to Abilene coming up.  We are definitely racking up the miles on this old girl before we go.  We may even pass 100 grand.  And all those miles are from all of the trips we have been blessed to take the past few years.  Many conventions, family vacations, and other gettogethers.  Many wonderful memories in that (now) beat up old car.  I am looking forward to our last road trip in a couple of weeks.  The car has gotten smaller as the kids have gotten bigger and we added one, but it is still so cozy and safe feeling when we take one of those long road trips.  You know what I mean?  Like the kids may be arguing, or the littlest one fussing, but you are just happy you are all together.  And watching movies on the laptop was definitely a blessing on the last trip home from Dallas.

We are literally down to suitcases.  It is so weird.  Our storage bldg is getting fuller.  Everything weighed and measured, ready for the boat ride across the gulf.  Hard to believe it is so close.  So real.  We have set up for friends who recently moved to Belize, to pick us up at the airport and we will spend the first night with them and then they will take us to Belmopan.  I am thankful.  I know the first day will hold all sort of emotions...excitement, relief, sadness, culture shock, you name it.  It will be good to spend that first day with someone who recently walked that journey.

This week we will spend time with my parents.  I know it is hard for them to see us go.  We have been their only family in Katy, and now we are moving.  We never thought we would, of course, but we are.  I know that leaves a big hole for them already, with us living an hour away.  I will miss them too.  They have helped us so much.  My mom was the only one I trusted, at first, to care for Erika while I worked.  She was so careful what she ate, and everything.  It is hard to believe how long ago that was now.

Tonight, Josh is building a fire out back.  He is so excited.  My mother in law bought marshmallows to roast.  It is a cold day, so it should be fun.  My in laws dont have wi-fi and there are some inconveniences with that, but more blessings.  My kids play outside more.  I read books and enjoy cooking.  I go right to sleep at night, rather than checking my facebook and email all the time.  It is good. 

Well, my mother in law just made a yummy banana cake, and I am fixing to make tortilla soup for dinner.  And yeah, I probably am eating more here too...oh well.