Recently, it is challenging for me to blog. Either I feel it is just too personal to put out there or I'm just too busy to take the time to sit and type or I just feel like I really have nothing to say.
We have been blessed with some amazing ministry and touches from the Lord recently. Our home church, Life Church, came and did a Marriage Weekend and we had 24 couples attend. Do you know how huge that is? And then this past weekend, a ministry out of South Carolina came and ministered to our girls and women. So much ministry. And then Sunday, we had this amazing time of worship. I feel like God is just speaking and speaking to me. And so many little victories and miracles that are happening in our church body right now. It is quite exciting!
The first day of the Women's Ministry was a time just to bless and minister Pastor's and Missionary's wives. I fall into both categories:) It was awesome. I loved how many friends I got to see and catch up with. And I loved being able to let my guard down. Although there were people from our church, they are missionaries and I was not there to minister, but to soak.
One of my friends, who is also a missionary/pastor's wife, and is also adopting a little girl here in Belize, and I began to talk. It was so refreshing to hear the same words come out of her mouth that I feel so many times. But I thought about her words. She said she felt so naive going into it...that love could just fix everything...but that it is so much more. And that she feels this experience has changed her, changed her family. I feel those same things. I feel that I am a different person after my journey with Erika, and now with Kailey. But I thought, that's okay? I am learning so many things. That you can't get from a book or a message. Life is teaching me. And the victories? They are greater because it took more work to get to them. Even our marriage is changing. But in a good way. We have to be in unity. And that is not always easy. I realize on a deeper level how much I need my husband's covering spiritually in this journey. For example, usually I stay behind a week after him when we go home, but I will not do that this time. I need my husband like never before. And I need time with him. Like dates where we get away. Like never before. And sometimes I just need him to listen when the day has been long and rough. Sometimes I think why homeschooling on top of all this adjustment? But then, I think how it is the right thing. I am seeing Kailey blossom educationally and know that would not happen if I was sending her to school. I also feel like all the togetherness all the time sometimes gets old, but it also allows us to make up for lost time bonding wise. When you get a girl that is already mostly grown, everything has to happen faster. So we can make spontaneous fun ice cream runs or join the teams as they come into town. So many opportunities we would not have if we were bound to the schedule of regular school.
So, the main thing the Lord is pouring into me right now is my role is very narrow right now. To mother my girls. To be here for them as much as I can. I do get short times away for my sanity's sake, but they are truly my first priority. The other day I said to the Lord, as my nest empties, it is supposed to get easier, not more challenging, and I felt He very clearly said, That is why I sent Elizabeth. And Elizabeth is awesome. She does so many things for LifeNet beyond Children's Ministry, yet still helps me with the girls. She is fun and easy to talk to which is perfect for them and me. Not to mention, she does dishes like every single night!!!
After this past weekend, I am encouraged. I feel that we have been climbing this very difficult mountain. The days are sometimes long and hard. But we are seeing the top. Seeing a time of rest and peace coming. Seeing the Lord heal what the enemy tried to steal.
Our family is different. We are changed through these processes. But what amazing diamonds are being formed in the journey. What compassion and learning to love our children are getting.
