Great Weekend

 i think this was her first time to jump in leaves...so fun

 the boys got a good workout

look what tori made

 first real tree my kids will ever have...it will be a fun Christmas for them

a little of our thanksgiving weekend to share...

we went to dewberry farm today to get a real tree for wayne and jodies house.  i will enjoy the smell of a real tree.  this is not something we usually have.

there were so many fun things to do at the farm.  i am so glad we joined them.  all the kids had fun...especially the biggest one.

Thanksgiving

Today is Black Friday, which I no longer participate in.  I tried a few times, but it was just never worth the savings to me.  Yesterday, I even looked through the ads and saw some good deals, but just didn't want to get into the crowds.  I do not like crowds.  They overwhelm me and I just don't care how good the deal is.  I will Christmas shop while Erika is in preschool, and most people are at work, thank you very much.

I am a little sentimental lately.  It didn't help just now reading a friend's blog who is also moving.  Moving is hard.  One part of me just wants it over and us in Belize and out of suitcases and in our own home.  The other part of me...is sad to go.

Wednesday night we headed to Lee's parents house.  Simply because I had a bad day as far as not feeling good and this house is too big for me to keep up with Erika and we wanted some time with my in-laws without everyone else.  It is nice to have lots of space, but when I just need to lie down, it is hard to keep up with a four year old:)  My mother in law had a nice dinner for us, made coke floats for dessert, and we slept in our own bed.  It was amazing. 

Thanksgiving day was eventful.  My mother in law woke up early to make a ham and turkey.  She pulled the ham out to make us cinammon rolls-she's pretty amazing that way.  Then when she went to stick the turkey in, the oven caught on fire.   She handled it so well.  I would have frieked out, and cancelled thanksgiving.  But not my MIL.  She took the turkey to her mom's house, the ham to her sister in laws house, and we baked the sides out in their RV.  She was so graceful through this whole process.  Then she went and picked it all back up and her mom as well.  She hosted a beautiful dinner, as always with some of her extended family as well.  Then began cleaning the dishes, etc.  I gave Grandmother a ride home, because she needed to lie down, and I knew my MIL was tired.

No sooner did I get back and the phone rang.  My MIL answered and it was the alert system.  Grandmother had fallen.  She hit a sharp hall tree with her breastbone.  By the time, my MIL got there, she could barely breathe due to pain, so they had to call an ambulance.  They spent the evening in the ER, then came home the same time that we got back from swimming at another relatives home.  Then we all went to sleep and slept well.

I wanted to share this story, because I am thankful for my in-laws.  They are just great people.  I am blessed they love me like a daughter.  My MIL is a great example.  She serves her husband and children.  She is an amazing cook.  She is not fancy about it, but her pancakes are amazing.  She just has the touch I guess.

As I laid in bed last night, I was emotional.  Thinking that is where I will sleep our last weeks in America.  That it is so close.  I am excited and terrified at the same time.  I really don' t know how to prepare.  God has done so much on the inside of me, yet, there are still so many uncertainties. 

I want to handle things with grace.  To look back, and see calm and peace through this journey.  I want to put my full trust in the Lord.

I am so thankful for friends and family who have blessed us during this time of transition.  It is so much better than a hotel.  My kids seem to be doing great.

some things about me

some things about me

• i love chocolate...cant ever get enough
• and peanut butter or milk with that chocolate is even better
• i love babies...if you have one, im going to ask to hold him/her
• i love lotion, i currently have three forms of it on the table beside me..and two tubes in my purse, one in my car:)
• i love watching movies...dramas that make me cry
• i love to read...just went to the library today...christian fiction, devotional types, non-fiction stories about families
• i love to worship.  i can't sing at all, but will belt it out in my car.  love music that is loud and that i can dance too...contemporary christian or worship
• i love rainy days, as long as im inside and not running errands
• i love to shop for just about anything except electronics
• i love to give gifts...if i had more money, i would give more gifts...but lee has me on a budget
• i love to be around kids...they make me happy...and laugh...and bring me joy...i will be the babysitter up in heaven

I have always wanted to....

• go to Paris...but only if it is a luxury trip
• rock newborns in a NICU
• have an orphanage
• write a book...not sure what about though
• go on a shopping spree, where i didn't have to budget the money...and it could be at marshalls or kohls for all i care
• be able to somehow help people who are in poverty to break the cycle
• teach preschool
• take my kids on a fantasy type vacation where we could just get whatever we wanted...

but as i look at that list, i am sort of thankful that i am on a budget, and that my kids are not spoiled, because they and i are more thankful because of it...

Thankful

thankful

today, i am thankful

i am thankful for a sleeping preschooler who had a blast for her thanksgiving party

i am thankful that said preschooler has an amazing preschool teacher

i am thankful that we will not do school for the rest of the week

that we will sleep in

and bake

and eat

and relax

and enjoy family

i am thankful that this weather will soon turn cold---it just has to

i am thankful for a sister-in-law who spoils my children

and me

i am thankful to be feeling better

much better

and that we found it here in america

and for doctors

and wisdom

and meds

that come because God gave them that wisdom

i am thankful for my husband

that he is home now

that I have a husband

who loves me

and takes care of me

i am thankful for three very amazing children

and their unique gifts and talents

and that for each of them i asked God,

and they are my best gifts ever

i am thankful for this coming holiday season

and time with friends and family

before our move

i am thankful for faith that sees me through

that God goes before us

and prepares things for us

and goes with us

i am thankful for friends and family who open their homes to us,

our kids,

our dog,

and our boxes

and that they still love us

after our noise

and our mess

i am thankful my children are homeschooled

most of the time

and that we can make our own schedules

and that i get to spend more time with them

than i used to

and most of all, i am thankful

for a personal God

who i knew from a young age

and that i get to serve him

and he blesses me...just because

he loves me,

not for anything i have done

and i am thankful for pecan pie on thursday, the worst thing calorically,

but the best tasty-wise:)



Isn't this the coolest?

I found this on another blog...isn't it neat?

My Dreams or His Dreams????

currently, i am sitting in a dark room trying to get my youngest to sleep...she did not nap and has not been well behaved...she needs her daddy to come home.  he is on his way.  i am so ready to be us again instead of just me.

this morning, since the guys were in tulsa, the girls and i went to life.  it is always nice to go home.   the worship was amazing, as always.  i had actually driven around about 30-45 minutes before church wilth my worship blaring and erika in the backseat.  it was a nice way to prepare to enter his prescence.

so, during worship, our worship leader's daughter sang a song she wrote.  i so wish it was on itunes or youtube so i could refer you to it.  it was about going through the fire.  god refining us.  he does that.  he has done and is doing that in me.  i wouldn't trade it.  i am a better person for it.

but as we were sitting there, worshipping, many words were given.  i personally felt god telling me...we ask him to fulfill OUR dreams....we need to pray that he will show us HIS dreams for us.  he is our dad.  he knows what we need most.  he knows why he created us, what he wants fulfilled through us.  but instead, we ask for this and that...god fulfill my dreams...do this for me, help me, make all my wishes come true.  his plans are better than ours.  his ways are better.  he knows where we are best used.  sometimes it is a not a path we would have chosen, but if we are earnestly seeking his will, we will look back and see how he guided us.  my journey is so much evidence of this.   i would not have chosen this past year and a half.  i wouldn't.  i was content, for the most part.  but god had bigger plans for us.  and i am thankful that i have a husband who listens.  i want to and am seeking to listen more intently.

that is another thing the lord showed me in my car worship today.  i have felt at times, lost, or bored, over the past few months.   but he has stripped me of all responsibilities, except being a wife and mother, so that i would be free to just sit and listen at his feet.  this is still a challenge, but even this morning, even though erika was in the car with me, i was able to just talk and listen to him.  it was so cool.  my car is the only "space" of my own that i have left.  but it became my sanctuary to spend time with my friend, my savior, my everything.

so i walked away this morning, just asking, god, what are your dreams for me?  because i want to be right in the middle of what he has planned...cause i know they are good plans.

What's Happening????

 First of all, isn't this the most beautiful girl you have ever seen?  I know you all have your own beauties.  But I just think she is adorable:)  Today, I literally had nothing to do.  So we mosied around HEB, with the amazing car cart.  Erika loved it.  We came home and had a leisurely lunch.  Everyone else came and went all day, but Erika and I stayed home.  She played out back.  We went for a walk and fed the ducks.  This is her, just relaxing, asking if we can stay for a while.  And we did.  It is kind of nice not to have to rush, and to just be.  It is a unique place I find myself in these days.  Some days are crazy, and some days I have absolutely nothing to do.  No house to maintain, really.  Not too much.  Its nice.  I can just enjoy my kiddoes.

 Promise enjoyed the walk as well.

Earlier in the week, Tori enjoyed a cooking class with her BFF.  We are actually going to make the little pecan tarts for Thanksgiving next week.   Tori said they were good.



Erika took my camera and took a few pictures of Tyler's batcave, a secret hideout under their stairs that Jodie created years ago.  Erika really enjoyed playing in there.

This is the special Dora room that Aunt Jodie created for Erika.  She can take these special sheets, blanket, and extra stickers with her to Belize...and look what else???

And yes, Aunt Jodie spoiled Tori and I with flowers in our rooms and hot cheetos for the kids.

We moved here Thursday morning.  I was really tired, but it feels good to be semi-settled for a few weeks.  When Lee gets home, we will put some more things into storage.  We have a little more room here and a very large bathroom.  Erika is enjoying the swing set in the backyard as well.  And Tori is enjoying her cousin Ryan.

It is hard to believe the holidays are upon us.  They feel different this year.  Not to have my own home to decorate.  Not being responsible for planning things.  Not setting up a Christmas Tree.  But that part is okay.  We will enjoy Wayne and Jodie's real tree.  We will probably even go with them when they get it.  I have not had a real tree in 17 years, so it will be a nice treat for me...

This journey I am on is so different...different than anything I can compare it to in my lifetime experience.  Ten years ago, when we moved to Katy to start Life Church, we also lived her with our in-laws.  I was such a different person back then.  It is cool for me to see that.  I have learned so much these years.  I have spent half my marriage here in Katy.  I wouldn't change it.  But this experience is good.  Rarely do I grieve the things we no longer have.  I realize they were things.  I would like to get rid of more, honestly.  It is so freeing.  I have this feeling that this is just the beginning.  God wants us to declutter our lives, whether we go to the Mission Field, or live in America.  He wants us to be willing and free to serve Him.  For material things not to hold us back.  For us to give til it hurts.  Really.  Instead of buying a new wardrobe, to buy a little less, so that we can give to those who need it.  Instead of taking luxury vacations, to sometimes substitute it with a Missions Trip.  I promise, one thing I have learned...you get more out of going, then they get from you coming.  It will be interesting to see what God does in me in Five years...after what He has done in me in just short trips...

Okay, enough rattling, time to throw that adorable princess in her special Dora Bubble Bath (yes, from Aunt Jodie too), and maybe even give myself a pedicure...we'll see.

Im feeling great

Sorry to make so many posts about my THYROID, but I wanted to update everyone that I FEEL GREAT.  I started blood pressure medicine because of my accelerated heartbeat on Friday night.  I really did not want to.  But it is temporary.  And I feel awesome.  The hardest part is that I feel great, but still have to take precautions since the radiation could be harmful to others.  Erika is actually at my parents house since I cannot hold her.  It is very hard for her and for me.  It breaks my heart.  So her being at my parents for a few days is good.  And it gives me time to rest.

This morning, Lee and Josh headed to Dallas, then Tulsa for two weeks.  Then I dropped off Tori for Cell Sunday and Erika at my parents home.  Then I came home.  I can't remember the last time I had all day to myself.  I cleaned our bathroom, then cleaned up all of Lee and Josh's stuff to take to our next destination.  I organized a few of our boxes.  I Painted My Nails.  I watched a MOVIE.  It was glorious.  By one, I was so bored.  I ate lunch all by myself.  Again, when was the last time that happened.  Then I went shopping to use a gift card from my bday...at a store that had amazing sales.

God is awesome and knew I needed today.  The last week was a lot for me.  Non-stop, it felt like we never had a break.  So today I got that break.  The house is so quiet with just Tori and I , and Darrin and Kelly.  Even the dogs are quieter today because Josh is not chasing them!!!

And to top off this amazing day, we watched Cross and the Switchblade.  Darrin and Kelly had never seen it before.  It is a good movie, but that 70's high technology...and those clothes...it was great.

Tomorrow, I am taking Tori shopping with her birthday money.  Just Her and I.  I am looking forward to spending time with my precious girl.

Turn out the lights...I GLOW

Another update on my physical side...   The past two days, I have been tested to discover what is causing my hyperthyroidism.  I had to swallow a pill that measured how much iodine went to my thyroid.  I have learned so much these last couple of weeks.  So, today, was the final scan and it showed that I have Graves Disease...it is an autoimmune condition, obviously affecting my thyroid and making my body go crazy.

We have done all the research (on the internet, of course:)  ).  And so we already knew our options.  Surgery was one, but risky.  Our best option was for me to take radioactive Iodine and let it do its job.  It takes longer than surgery, but it is safe.  I like safe.  But there are some precautions I have to take to protect those living with me.  Especially Erika.  It  breaks my heart that I cannot hold her for about a week.  I may send her to my moms a few days to make it easier on both of us.  Thankfully, we are living with Kelly and she is holding her for me....

I am exhausted tonight.  I am thankful for my friend who is playing legos, and making milkshakes and watching MACGYVER reruns with my kids.  She is a blessing more than I can say.  And I am thankful to be living here.  My kids love it.

So the next week will be different for me.  But then in about 4-6 weeks, I should start feeling better.  I am looking forward to that happening at Christmas.  I am ready to have my energy back, not sweat like crazy, and shake all the time.  
God is good.

One specific thing I am praying for, is no negative side effects.  That would happen this week if they did.  Lee and Josh are leaving for two weeks, so it will be just me and the girls and my friends.  I want to be strong.  And feel like myself again.


My heart is ready for Belize.  I have had to more things in the past year that I would never have done in the past.  God has made me stronger and not afraid.  It does not mean that my heart did not sink when I got that call a month ago...but I did not stay in that place.

Today, when the doctor spoke to me, it really helped.  I honestly wish I could have taped the conversation to help my family understand what has been  happening to me.  I cannot think straight...I actually backed into a carport at the apartment recently!!!  I get overwhelmed and frustrated so easily.  I do not like it.  But am thankful to know that this is not me.  This is the disease.  And God is using Doctors to treat me and make me well.  He spent an hour just talking to me and explaining what is going on inside of me.

So, tonight, I sleep alone...Lee can't because it would be too much exposure.  And I pray I rest well and ready to spend the day with my three blessings tomorrow.  This week has been so crazy with moving and doctors appointments.

Twelve Years Ago Today

Twelve years ago today, God blessed Lee and I with a gem.  Victoria Joy surprised us three weeks early, but that is okay.  I was ready for her.  Tori came into this world a tiny little thing but quickly grew into an adorable cuddly baby.

When I prayed for another child, she prayed with me.  When I have a headache, she prays for me, and I am well.  She is an amazing girl.

Last weekend was our last weekend at the apartment, and so we celebrated her 12th birthday early.  It was so fun for her to see all her old friends.  They laughed and laughed.

 Our amazing youth pastor's wife (and dear friend) made this cake.  It is SOOOO Tori.

 We did face masks....with cucumbers, of course.  They all loved it.  Who knew a $3 mask bottle from Walmart could be such a hit?

 This is before the party, table all set, just anxiously awaiting our awesome friends to come.

 and you wouldnt believe all the cool purses and wallets they made out of duct tape...


and this has nothing to do with Tori's party, but isnt erika such a doll....wearing mommy's shoes???

I went for my thyroid scan this morning...took a pill and am headed back for the scan in a few minutes.

Moving Out

We are moving out of the apartment...right now.  "And you're blogging?," you say.  Yes, I am.  I am sitting for a moment while there is nothing for me to do at the moment...and I need to rest.  I am exhausted.

Yesterday, we started working on it around 2 and went strong til about 10:30 last night.  This morning we started at about 7.  So yes, I need to sit a minute.

I remember 6 months ago when we moved in...in the rain.  I thought we would get rid of more stuff while we were here.  But we didn't really.  A little.  I am going to try to downsize more during this season.  Why is it so hard to part with things?  How many clothes do we really each need?  I would say Josh and Erika are the best.  They don't have too much, and wear all they have.

So, this apartment has been a blessing.  It has been nice to have our own place, but I am actually looking forward to this next season.  Honestly I have felt a little secluded with the kids being homeschooled and us going to a different church every Sunday...and not really having enough room for company.  My life has become so much less social.  Lee still goes to the office Tues-Fri so sees everyone more.

It is very close.  Our move to Belize.  It is crazy.  Three months til we move.  We are still in Katy, so it doesn't really seem real.  But I am feeling it.  When we have to think about shipping stuff "Can we live without this for three months?"  That is not really that long.  It will fly.  Especially with the holidays in there.  Speaking of holidays, it is so crazy  that for the first time in forever, I will not decorate for Christmas, I will not plan church Christmas events, or help with the Christmas play.  Seriously, I used to go crazy during November and December.  My life is so different.  Not that moving isnt crazy, just different.

Well, I guess I need to go clean something, or pack something, or maybe take a nap.



Birthday Parties

Tonight is my soon-to-be-12-year-old's slumber birthday party.

The house is picked up, pizza ordered, beautiful cake delivered (pictures soon), guests invited, drinks chilling, table set...so now, we wait.  I am not a last minute person when it comes to parties.   I send out invitations early so guests can reserve the date, I buy paper goods in plenty of time, and I set up early.  Here it is 4 hours before the party and we are ready, except the last minute things.

I have given so many parties.  It is amazing as I think Josh has had 14, Tori 12, and Erika 2.  So I have thrown 18 parties for my kids alone, not to mention baby and wedding showers and parties for other relatives.  And I look forward to them just as much as my  kids.  I desperately want them to have a good time and good memories.  I am a little sad that we are going to have a squishy party this year.  But I am thankful we can  have it.  It is important to my girl.  Some of her close friends have changed over the years, some have stayed the same. 

So, now I will reflect to a little more than 12 years ago.  I had a little 2 year old boy who was full of joy and full of life.  He kept me busy but I enjoyed every day with him.  But I wanted him to have a sibling.  It took me a long time to have him, so we thought that may happen again.  It didn't.  I believe I knew within the week that I was pregnant, but Lee did not believe me.  I was instantly sick...and extremely tired.  Moreso than I had been with Josh.  In fact, for 8 months and 1 week I was nauseous.  My pregnancy with Tori, was much more difficult than Josh.  When I was about 4 months along, the Dr. discovered a problem with my placenta and something possibly blocking her source of food.  It could have cost her life or for her to be born early.  But my doctor was a Christian and told us to go home and pray.  And we did.  And Tori grew in spite of it.  I'll never forget the day I found out she was a girl.  I went and bought a bunch of pink stuff.  Tori's pregnancy was also hard because we had just planted a church and just about the time we got about 35 people, several of them moved away due to jobs or other situations.  It was a very emotional time.  And physically hard being pregnant with a now 2 1/2 yr old.  I remember one night when we were setting up chairs for service the next day.  And I looked at Lee, 8 months along, and said, Im not going to do this anymore.  God is going to have to send some men to help you do this.  And you know what, He did?

I ended up having Tori three weeks early.  She was so tiny, no fat on her.  I was so proud of how beautiful she was and so,  when my Victoria Joy was only about 4 days old, we headed to church.  One of the ladies said she was yellow, which I appreciated, because the next day we ran her to the doctor and she had a severe case of jaundice.  We had to put her on a blue light for a few days.  But she got well, and the church grew.  In fact as I came home from the hospital, some of our newest families were the ones bringing us dinner.

I really enjoyed Victoria as a baby.  She loved to be held, which Josh had not.  She always wanted to be near me. I finally had my girl.  Because Josh has always been a Daddy's boy. Tori has been a sweet girl.  She loves to shop with me.  She loves to cook with me.  She loves taking care of little kids like me.  She prayed with me for Erika.  She is extremely creative.  Writing, crafting.  She is always making or sewing something.  In fact, crafts have been the theme of her parties for years.

So, tonight we have a Slumber Party for my sweet 12 year old girl.  Not because it is convenient as we are moving out, because she is a wonderful gift that the Lord gave me and I want her to know how much I am thankful for her life.

So Much Stuff...

I thought about this too late, but I should have taken a pic of our stuff in storage.

SO MUCH STUFF

We packed a lot tonight and took another big load to storage...time is running out.  We need to get everything out by Tuesday, so I can clean before my busyness of Wednesday and Thursday. 

As we take box after box, we have

SO MUCH STUFF

and it makes me think...How much stuff do we really need?

There is so much uncertainty about what sort of things that we will be able to buy in Belize.  They say you can buy anything, but for what price?

So I feel like we are taking

SO MUCH STUFF

We really have gotten rid of

SO MUCH STUFF

so far.  We are down to no furniture but our beds.  Seriously, my nightstand is a blue plastic box.  My coffee table that I have my feet propped up on is blue too.  And lining the walls in my living room?  Yep, more boxes.  So far, numbered boxes would be 35, not counting air conditioners and and things in their own box.  So I would say we are actually closer to 50 boxes.  Is that too many?  Are we taking too much?  Its hard to say.

So, I will probably not be on here for a few days.  I look at this as my calm before the storm.  Tomorrow night, I will have 10 little girls spending the night, doing crafts, feeding them...and sending my boy camping...after homeschool in the morning.    Then Saturday, there are several things planned, not to mention, more packing and more trips to the storage place.

Monday we will move to our new temporary home and Tuesday we will finish our time in this apartment.  It is really hard to believe we have lived here for six months.  It really has flown.  It seems that we were just in our house...

Well, to finish up our day before the chaos, we are watching TOY STORY 3.  Its really good. 



Update...

Okay, honestly I feel like my head is going to explode.  I have so many things going the next few weeks...but I know they will all get done.  Just hoping I enjoy them along the way:)

This weekend we began moving our things to storage...that we are shipping to Belize.  It is heavy, but nice to do slowly.  I need to pack today...but am going to lunch so have not done much.  Just little things that won't make me sweat...because I sweat all the time thanks to my crazy fast heart.

Yesterday, we went to the endicrinologist.  Can I tell you how much I loved her?  Seriously.  From the moment she walked in.  She explained so much.  Why it kills me to walk up stairs because my legs are sooo weak and shaky.  How important the thyroid is to so many functions of our body.   I did not know anything about a thyroid a month ago.  Now I know so much.

So next week on Tori's bday:(, I will be doing a day long test where I swallow a radioactive pill and it will determine one of two things that is wrong.  Then if it is Graves disease, I will begin treatment the next day hopefully. 

Honestly, I just want to feel normal again.  I feel like noone understands how I feel except my mom because it happened to her too...except the lump. I have so much to do, but am so unmotivated.  So tired.  I just want to lay down.  Really, can I take a quick nap?

But I am encouraged and thankful for doctors and medicine to help.  I still want and believe for a healing.  My mom got one.  But until then, I feel I need to use wisdom and get help.  So I can be strong in Belize.

I know the Lord is teaching me and using this.  I don't think He did this to me.  I feel I have just a glimpse how a mother with cancer or MS might feel.  You want everything to be normal.  But it just isn't.  I have not thoroughly cleaned in weeks, because I just don't have the energy.  Lee will have to help me when we move out.  I am thankful that we are in the apartment though.  It is very hard for me to go up stairs and to live in our house would have been so hard.  And to only need to clean 1000 instead of 2000 feet of apartment is much better.

Well, I need to get some things done.  But wanted my two faithful blog readers to know my life:)