Season of Change

We are in such a season of change right now.

We should be moving into the new church building in the next few weeks.  I am excited because Josh and Tori will be here.  I feel like it is significant that we celebrate this milestone as a family.

Soon, the youth net that we have hosted in our home for almost seven years will begin meeting at the building.  What a change it will be not to have to clean up before and after every single Thursday.  I am sure it will change for them as well.  Moving to the building.  But I also feel that it will be a place where it can grow more as well.

Josh graduates in April.  As we prepare to go home and celebrate with him, this is also a time of change.  This will be the last Christmas he can probably come and hang out for two weeks.  Unless he becomes a teacher, his new job will probably not afford him that time.  It is probably the last time we can go to Foursquare Convention as a whole family.  Also a special time I am looking forward to.  As my children have become adults, I have treasured them even more.  Treasured every moment I have with them even more.  Realizing the moments are less.

Sometimes its hard to be Thankful

Wow.  Yesterday was a hard one for me.  Holidays on the mission field are hard.  Facebook and Instagram don't help.  All the people you are aching to be with.  All of things about the holidays you miss.  Like the kids playing outside all afternoon in the leaves after the big turkey lunch.  All of the foods you miss but are hard to find here or just plain expensive.  Sure, we had a big feast yesterday.  It was delicious.  But it was not the same.

Yesterday, we had a couple friends from the states around our table.  We have established some Thanksgiving traditions here in Belize.  But Erika doesn't remember and the other two girls have never experienced it in the states.  Only what I have been able to pull together here.

What I am so thankful for is that my parents drove up to Dallas this week and my two big kids spent the night at my brother and sister in laws house.  That they had family.  But even for them it is not the same.  They miss Lee and I.  Their immediate family.

I must choose thankfulness.  I must choose to be thankful that we are able to fly Josh and Tori here for Christmas.  That I will have my immediate family around me for two weeks.  There will be still be the loss of our parents and siblings.  But I am thankful we will have all of our children together.

Thanksgiving in Belize is not a holiday.  It is just another normal day.  And yes, some do have the big feast.  But even that is not the same.  Thanksgiving in the states is so big.  You do nothing but cook and watch the Macy's parade on TV and then all veg around all afternoon with your family.  Even if your family is not so great, the tradition is still like a 3 day event.  I miss it.  I miss my big kids.  Yesterday was heavy.  Even with facetiming family.   And it is something that I feel only other missionaries or soldiers understand.

Tomorrow we will decorate for Christmas and prepare for our special time.  I can't wait!

Lots of Emotions These Past Weeks

There has been so much going on these past few weeks, that I only can describe it as emotional.   There have been such extreme highs and lows.  Victories and losses.  Sometimes I have been overwhelmed by it all and just wanted to cry.  There have been completion to things we have been working on for years...so it should all be excitement, right?

My blog has always been very candid.  Where I share the heart of what living on the mission field is really like.

While we rejoiced in the victory of Kailey's full adoption and Aviya's provisonal adoption two weeks ago, there is also this tinge of sadness as we did not have our family with us.  Our older kids gone to college, very much wishing they would have been here as we went out to eat to celebrate.

The party was a tremendous blessing the following week.  Where we were missing our family, God showed up powerful as our Belizean family filled our home.  There literally was no extra space.  People everywhere to celebrate with us and pray with us over our beautiful Belizean daughters.  Yes, there were some Americans here, but it was mostly Belizeans.  The Belizeans who have become our deepest friends and family over these past seven years.

The end of last week was Tori's birthday.  Another high/low for me.  There were tears over the fact that I could not be physically with her on her special day.  But there were also tears of joy that our family would drive all the way up to have lunch with her at college.  A great sacrifice of love that she and I will never forget.  That was also the day Lee and I received our nationalization.  We are now officially Belizean.  Again, an exciting moment, but no family here to share the joy.  We went out to eat as a family that night to celebrate.  It was fun, but a little lonely.

The other emotional battle right now is that my dad is sick.  He is going through chemotherapy.  It is brutal and recently he had to stay overnight in the hospital.  It is painful to see my mom and dad going through this and me not being there to help.   I rejoice when they get a good report or when mom tells me he is doing good.  But I'm sad when I hear of his struggles.  I have the best dad in the world and pray that when the chemo is done, his strength is rebuilt.  I pray and believe for healing for him every day.

The journey on the mission field is hard to describe.  Sometimes it feels like we miss so much back home.  Sometimes it feels like we are alone here in our rejoicing.  But then the Lord reminds us that He has given us a special family here as well.

The emotions of the past few weeks have been a little overwhelming for me.  Real life still continues.  Meeting with women in the church, homeschool, laundry, cooking, Sunday morning celebration, dance class.  Life continues amidst all the things.

This week, FMI highlighted our family.  It was kind of crazy time in the midst of so many other things going on.

I am thankful that the Lord allows us to have emotions and feel.  I am glad that our lives are fulls of the joys and sorrows.  We wouldn't appreciate life if every day was the same.  We look back and see so much clearer.

Adoption Celebration

This Sunday  morning is one of our biggest as a church.   Community of Cultures is always a packed out house.  It is the highlight of our year as we celebrate the different cultures of our church people.  

Then Sunday evening, will be a big celebration for our family.  Its hard to believe it has been seven years since we adopted Erika.

I'm excited about this time being a special time with our family here in Belize.  Those who have walked with us day by day.  Those who have prayed with us and believed with us.  It is a celebration for everyone of answered prayers.  The people coming to this party deeply love our girls.  I will miss our parents, siblings and especially Josh and Tori.

So, I wanted to share what I will be saying about our journey, before we pray over the girls on Sunday.  It will be a dedication of sorts.

Kailey Isabel means "laurel", "crown", "princess" and "devoted to God".  She is truly a beautiful princess who lives her life for the Lord.

Aviya Hope means "my father is God" and "expectation" or "firm assurance".  Aviya knows who she is in Christ and is a girl full of joy and hope.  She chose to change her name and we love it!

This is what I will be sharing::

I want to thank each of you for coming tonight.  You were invited because you have been a support to Lee and I, our girls, our family.  We rejoice in the adoption.  We invited you to rejoice and celebrate with us, but also to pray over the children the Lord has blessed us with.

Ephesians 1:4-5 New King James Version (NKJV)

4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will,

GOD LOVES ADOPTION.  I love adoption.  Since I was very small, I always wanted to adopt.  My older sister was adopted.

In 2007, we met a beautiful 14 month old little girl that was in foster care and needed a family.  The moment I met her I knew I was her mom.  The journey to adoption took almost two years, but I “adopted” her the moment I first held her.  I felt that our family was complete.  

During that journey, was when the Lord called our family to move to Belize.  

In 2013, we were at Marla’s with a mission team.  We came to Belize with no intention of growing our family anymore.  BUT GOD.  When Kailey’s name was mentioned, the Holy Spirit came over me, Tori and Lee, like a wind.  I barely knew who she was, but I will never question that God spoke in that moment that she was my daughter.  One other thing is that before we even moved here, when Tori was 11, God had given her a vision in worship one day.  It was of a girl who was about her age, who needed a home.  The Lord told Tori that she needed to share her room, share her clothes and that the Lord would use this girl.  When God spoke to us that day at Marla’s, I remembered Tori’s vision that she had written down and we went back and looked.   I never knew it would take 4 ½ years to complete the adoption.  But the journey is a celebration of the faithfulness of the God we serve.  When God speaks something, He will bring it to completion.

The journey of adoption has been just as much about what God has done in Lee and I, as what He has done in the lives of our girls.

Faith is easy when everything is going great.  But when it is hard, we want to give up.

Do we trust what God said or not?

It took a year for Kailey to be able to move into our home.  We would sometimes have her on weekends, sometimes not.  The waiting was hard.  I still do not understand all the reasons.  But Kailey was older, so the transition was harder for her.  We are so excited in what the Lord has done in Kailey and how she has longed to be adopted by us.  We love her very deeply.

Last year, in 2016, we were at a Marlas fundraiser.  Shelly Usher spoke of her journey of adoption and one of the things she said, was that we needed to ask ourselves, “do we have room for one more?”  Also on that night, for the first time, Aviya stood out to me.  Her smile, her energy, her joy as she danced to “When Jesus Says Yes”...The Lord has used that song repeatedly along our journey to adopt Aviya.  The next day at church, again Aviya came over and randomly started talking to me.  She did not know that Kailey had once lived at Marla’s or that we had adopted Erika.  She was so curious and wanted to know the scoop.  My heart was so drawn to her...

A couple weeks later, we went to Texas for our regular one month itinerary.  Every single day, God whispered Aviya’s name in my ear...and Lee’s ear.  Everywhere we went, I felt the Lord say that the next time, we would have Aviya with us.  He told me over and over again, YOU HAVE ROOM FOR ONE MORE.  Room in the van, room in your house, room in your heart.  He would not let it go.  

God is never early.  Literally every deadline, we have needed with these girls has been right on time.  God has intervened and we have seen miracle after miracle.

Sometimes along the journey, it would be so discouraging.  Dealing with the system.  Questioning why they would allow certain things.  But then looking back, I can truly see that the Lord has always had our girls’ best interest at heart.  Visitation that allowed closure where needed.  

No child wants to need to be adopted.  But God loves those children so much that He will move the heart of a family...that was only going to have two children...to adopt.

This is our journey.  Many of you know the stories, but I wanted to share:)