Monday, April 21, 2014

Counting the Cost....and Counting it again and again...

Four years ago, when we began to sell most of our earthly possessions and planned to move to Belize, I counted the cost.  But what I didn't realize is that was just the beginning.  Over the past few years, I have to recount that cost over and over.  I have had to remind myself of the calling.  And realize that nothing good ever happens without a little sacrifice.  But I also have realized that there are great blessings of being in the center of His will.

Yesterday was one of those days.  You know...another holiday...without family.  Those can be really hard days.  A pitiful Easter basket with mostly old, spoiled candy:( (it is just hard to find good candy here...and you don't know until you open it:( That can be kind of disappointing.  A lunch with a friend that will soon return to the states.

But God intervenes...when we need Him most.  Lunch with friends that ended up being filled with laughter. helped cover the missing family from home.  Pictures on Facebook of candy that a sweet friend bought for my kids to get when we arrive in the states.  God always blesses when we need it most.

To round out the day, we had friends from church over last night for more just hanging out time.  Some of the people were playing Monopoly while we visited on the couch.  Tori didn't want to play.  She said, "Do you remember what happened the last time we tried to play this game?  We were having so much fun...and then everything changed..."  I didn't remember.  She said, "You know, the night she first came...and it began...all the months of craziness..."

This made me so sad.  That evening I was immediately swept up, an unplanned meeting in Lee's office with someone.  But realizing now that my kids...they were left to pick up the pieces, literally.  How sad it must have been for them, enjoying a fun family game time, only to be interrupted by but another crisis.

Yes, the cost is great.  Our kids have experienced a lot of things here.  They have sacrificed greatly.  They pay just as high a cost as we do.

But God always intervenes.  Sometimes the hardest days are right before we are about to go "home" for a visit.  But also, "home" is refreshing.  We get Christmas, Easter, birthdays, all in one month.  One month of being loved on, prayed on, blessed.  Memaws and Aunts who buy all our favorite foods and make us feel so loved from the moment we step off the plane.

Yesterday, as I spent some time with my daughter who once again has to say goodbye to another friend, her heart broken...God reminded me to remind her...that she does not sow in vain.  That she is sowing seeds that will bear good fruit.  When she goes and loves on twenty girls from babies to teens...at the children's home, she is planting good seeds.  That is why they smother her every time they see her.  When she pours into the girls in her small group, it is not in vain.  My girl is much like me.  Yet different.  Better.   But I know I was called to serve, really serve God when I was her age.  I see those same things in her.  And it is hard sometimes.  Ministry is really really hard.  Being a pastor's kid is not always fun...but the fruit, the blessings are abundant.  When God holds you in the center of his hands, there is such peace...and it is worth it all.

And just a few photos from yesterday that a friend took.  She is taking photos for anyone who wants on Sunday mornings...so I made my family dress up and scheduled the first slot this Sunday...  And I am so glad I did.

I love my sweet little family...so much:)




This is all I have so far...can't wait to see the rest <3 nbsp="" p="">

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

God is in Control

I think the theme that the Lord has been trying to teach me this year is...Do I really trust God?  Do I really know He has our back?  That He is our Protector?

We have journeyed some difficult things this year.  None of these journeys we would have chosen to take.  But yet God has remained faithful.  He has continually shown us He is holding our family in His hands and that His purpose for us here in Belize is bigger than we even know.

I love the words in this song, "I Can Feel You" by Jenn Johnson.  It is my new song right now...really ministering to me.  Sometimes we don't "feel" like worshiping, but if we do and just are obedient, He is there.  We truly can "feel" Him.  Unlike us, who are tossed around by the emotions we are feeling in a current situation with many ups and downs, God is constant.  He is always there.  He is Faithful, even when we are not.

Sometimes I feel like I am alone...that God is not intervening like I think He should.  I get frustrated, confused, sometimes even angry.  But that is not right.  God sees things we do not.  He knows what is best.  When I look backwards, I can see this.  I just often cannot see it when I am in the middle of the situation.

Sunday morning I was struggling with a particular situation...something God has told us to do, but there are so many roadblocks.  It just seems unfair.  If we are obedient, it is supposed to be easy right?
As we entered worship, EVERY SINGLE SONG was relevant.  I feel I held back a little simply because I was afraid I may begin to cry uncontrollably:)  But one was "Give Me Faith"...  The words were so powerful.

The bridge:
I may be weak, but
Your Spirit's strong in me.
My flesh may fail, but
My God You never will . 

In my own flesh, I am so weak.  I am so thankful that He is strength when I need it most!

I Can Feel You // Jenn Johnson & Bethel Music // Tides Official Lyric Video

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Its Official

Josh got his Belizean license today…YayJ  And he has done an online course…for six long hours…to pass his written test in Texas.  So, now we just need the actual Texas driver’s license and we are settled.  He is two years behind his friends in Texas since they can get their licenses at 16...but we are glad it is taken care of!



For Josh’s b-day, we had a few of his friends over for Barry’s homemade, delicious pizza and cheesecake.  We played a few games.  It was fun.  The last kid left around 11, which was way past Lee and my bedtime…we were tired.



Saturday, Erika broke out in a mysterious rash that looked like huge whelps all over her upper body.  All the clinics were closed, so we ended up having to take her to the hospital.  It came back during the night and so she has been on medication all week to keep it away.  So, our little trip to Caye Caulker, we were a little worried taking her so far from the hospital, but she was fine.  We just really tried to limit her sun exposure.  But she was okay with that because there was AC and a TV.  Two treats we do not have at our houseJ.

By the time, we finally arrived at Caye Caulker on Sunday, after church, lunch in the car, an hour drive to the city, parking, an hour ride to the island…I was exhausted.  But just getting away, eating out, relaxing….does so much for your soul.  The hotel we booked with has been updated and we were able to get a little two bedroom apt.  With our larger family, it was a blessing.  Everyone just had a great time relaxing.














Lee took the older kids to swim with the sharks on Monday, while Erika and I went swimming down at the split.  It was warm, but not too hot, which was nice.  But the AC in the room was awesomeJ!!!!












 It was a blessing to just get away with our little family.  Before we take Josh off to college.  It was only two days…but two really nice days.  And two days of remembering how blessed I amJ