Married Life on the Mission Field

In the states, you always hear about how important it is to date your spouse.   I feel like it is so much harder, but so much more needed here.   There are less date opportunities and it's hard to find time.  

Today, after Lee's dental appointment, we will have a date.   I'm excited.   We are eating somewhere we have always heard about but never gone.  And with our growing family, not somewhere to take the whole crew.  

It was Tori who encouraged this date.   She said, "Go to the city with Dad.  I'll watch the girls."

It's hard for me to leave Erika.   Every day I think of her accident.  In fact, last night we were at the civic center, where it happened.   We went to the bathroom where they desperately tried to stop the bleeding.  I just have to release Erika and put her in God's hands but it's so hard for me.   Worrying something else might happen.  

So, today, I will focus on my marriage.  We get the long drive here and back with no kids.  Free to talk.   Of course, we will still talk about the kids☺️. But we won't be interrupted or have to be careful what we say.   We can share our hearts with each other.   And enjoy that the Lord has given us this time.   

Last night, we came together with all the churches for the National Day of Prayer.   It was the best one since we've been here.  It wasn't as hot as normal....but we did still sweat.   The worship was great.  One thing broke my heart, though, when they prayed for marriages.   The pastor's wife asked everyone who was with their spouse to stand and hold hands as they prayed for marriages.  What made me sad was how few couples stood in such a large room full of people.  Some were separated because a spouse was on stage...but still.  One of the things that God told me before we came here is that he was sending Lee and I to show what a healthy family could be.   I know and pray that we will continue to stand in that.  The enemy is definitely against our marriages and families and last night was a very visual reminder of that.  

When I think over the past five and half years here in Belize, it has been the hardest time for our marriage, but also the deepest, most amazing place our marriage has ever been.  And a reminder of how blessed I am that the Lord chose my husband for me.  

Begging

I'm sitting in Belize city at the dentist waiting for Lee as he gets work done.  

I'm asked for money most days in Belmopan, but it is definitely more here in the city.  Last week when we came, Kailey and i were out front just a short time on the street and asked several times.  Now, as I sit and wait, a boy of about twelve, that actually looks well cared for, just came and asked the receptionist and then turned and begged me for money.   He says he's hungry.  I asked why he's not in school.  He said no school today because the teachers are on strike.  I could have given him a dollar or two.  Made myself feel better.   And taught him that begging is the way to go.   

Foreigners are known for coming here and giving so much stuff.   So much money.   Don't get me wrong.  There is much need here.   But the money should be invested in education and things that better a person.   Not just feed them for today.   Because tomorrow they will be hungry again.  

So often when I'm asked for money, I want to explain.  That I actually am very generous.   Very giving.   But it is based on relationship.   I care for three girls that I didn't give birth to.   I invest in them.  For them to have an education and better future.   And for them to have a family.   I give sacrificially of my time to so many things that I can't explain to someone I just pass on the street.   But God knows.  And I believe we need to be careful where we sow.   That we are not just sowing into something that will never grow.  

Living in a country surrounded by so much need, I don't want to become callous.   But also living in this country, I see how much harm is also caused by just giving for the day and not helping them plan for a future.   

Fostering, Adopting, and all the Dynamics of Family

One of the quotes that I see often on Facebook is that...everyone has an opinion about Foster Care, but few actually step out and do it.

My intention years ago, was to adopt one child.  My family was full.   But apparently the Lord did not agree.  I remember one Mother's Day before I moved here to Belize, we had a few extra kids with us (who had parents...but were out of town or something).  We went to Los Cucos in Old Katy.  I remember looking around at all the kids...the full table.  And the Lord very clearly told me that I would always have a full table in Belize, as well.  And it has been true.  At the moment, we have seven at every meal.  I am learning pasta is my friend.  And rice and potatoes.  Because they stretch a little more.  Food is expensive here.  But God always helps me stretch it.  And no one is going hungry:)

The dynamics in my home are at best, interesting...and crazy.  We have lots of girls.  We have lots of big personalities.  We have lots of laughing.  But we also get lots of hurt feelings.  On most days, I feel I am a referee.  

But lately, I also see that in spite of all of that...our home is also a place of healing.  Healing is slow.  You don't see it immediately.  Sometimes you wonder if it is even happening.  And then one day, all of a sudden, you see it.

Erika's fingers have been that way.  At times, I have worried...are they healing okay?  Is this how they should look?  And then all of a sudden, they look so great.  We realize how far they have come in seven weeks.  This week, we sent several pictures to her surgeon and he was so encouraging and happy with how they have healed.  Which of course, encouraged me so much.

Emotional healing is so much the same way.  And then someone from the outside tells you what they see.  How they see that God has done so much in a person's life.  And then all of the sudden, you are encouraged.  To keep going...

We live our journey of fostering and adopting so publicly.  We are pastors.  If our children have a bad day (especially on Sunday), we feel judged.  We feel people are watching...trying to see "how it's going".  Yet, with our birth children, there is not that same pressure.  We like when people think we are doing a good job.  But when they say something negative about our child or our decisions on parenting, it hurts even deeper.  Because we are doing our best.  We are seeking God at every moment in this journey.  Asking Him to guide us, give us wisdom.  And also finding that He is there, helping us.  Helping me to see when one girl needs a little more of my attention.  Or where there needs to be grace instead of discipline.  Or vice versa.

Next Friday, I am excited that one of my fellow foster moms is starting a monthly gathering of our families.  Our families that look a little different.   Our families that have birth children, adopted children and foster children.  And we will all get to be with other families just like us.  Who understand the dynamics of our family.  All of my girls are so excited.  Because they, because of our family, have a heart for fostering and adopting, too.  And can't wait to hang out with everyone.

Friendship on the Mission Field

This morning, I am preparing my Bible Lesson for Hope for Life next Wednesday.  I am going through a study on being a godly mother.  It has really been good...even for me.

Next week, I will teach on the importance of godly friends.  How having friends in the same boat with you is so helpful.  I am curious how it will go.  Do these women have godly friends who are encouraging them?  Or am I that for them?  Am I the only one who encourages them and lifts them up during the week?

Then I thought alot about my journey in friendships here over the past almost six years.  I have made friends...they have moved away.  I relate mostly to other missionaries, but they are so busy.  But the Belizean friends I have are so busy, too.  Most of them work full time outside of the home.  And I am busy too...all the time.  But I love the moments I do get.  To grab coffee or a coke with a friend.  We typically try to find somewhere there is AC.  And then I have so many friends still back home.  Twice, this past year I have had to fly home for surgery for myself and then Erika.  And twice, my friends back home have welcomed me and loved on me.  I have been blessed both times to get times to just sit and catch up.

Our friendships are so important.  Lee is my best friend....but I need friends who are women, as well.  I am so thankful, that even though people come and go, the Lord always seems to bring me good friends.  I have learned as I have gotten older that sometimes our friendships have seasons.  That our lives change directions, and so do our friendships.  Sometimes our friendships change.  Sometimes we realize that a friend is no longer healthy for us.  Sometimes things change, yet we choose to fight for that friendship.  I recently went through something so hard.  Having to stand up for something that we strongly believe in...but needing to separate the friendship from that stand.  It was hard for me to walk through.  It was scary.  How would it work?  But it did.  And God helped the other woman and I to walk through it bravely together and walk away still being friends....

If you have a friend, make time to spend together.  The different seasons in our lives can sometimes make it more challenging, but it is always worth it and refreshing to have a friend:)