Fostering, Adopting, and all the Dynamics of Family

One of the quotes that I see often on Facebook is that...everyone has an opinion about Foster Care, but few actually step out and do it.

My intention years ago, was to adopt one child.  My family was full.   But apparently the Lord did not agree.  I remember one Mother's Day before I moved here to Belize, we had a few extra kids with us (who had parents...but were out of town or something).  We went to Los Cucos in Old Katy.  I remember looking around at all the kids...the full table.  And the Lord very clearly told me that I would always have a full table in Belize, as well.  And it has been true.  At the moment, we have seven at every meal.  I am learning pasta is my friend.  And rice and potatoes.  Because they stretch a little more.  Food is expensive here.  But God always helps me stretch it.  And no one is going hungry:)

The dynamics in my home are at best, interesting...and crazy.  We have lots of girls.  We have lots of big personalities.  We have lots of laughing.  But we also get lots of hurt feelings.  On most days, I feel I am a referee.  

But lately, I also see that in spite of all of that...our home is also a place of healing.  Healing is slow.  You don't see it immediately.  Sometimes you wonder if it is even happening.  And then one day, all of a sudden, you see it.

Erika's fingers have been that way.  At times, I have worried...are they healing okay?  Is this how they should look?  And then all of a sudden, they look so great.  We realize how far they have come in seven weeks.  This week, we sent several pictures to her surgeon and he was so encouraging and happy with how they have healed.  Which of course, encouraged me so much.

Emotional healing is so much the same way.  And then someone from the outside tells you what they see.  How they see that God has done so much in a person's life.  And then all of the sudden, you are encouraged.  To keep going...

We live our journey of fostering and adopting so publicly.  We are pastors.  If our children have a bad day (especially on Sunday), we feel judged.  We feel people are watching...trying to see "how it's going".  Yet, with our birth children, there is not that same pressure.  We like when people think we are doing a good job.  But when they say something negative about our child or our decisions on parenting, it hurts even deeper.  Because we are doing our best.  We are seeking God at every moment in this journey.  Asking Him to guide us, give us wisdom.  And also finding that He is there, helping us.  Helping me to see when one girl needs a little more of my attention.  Or where there needs to be grace instead of discipline.  Or vice versa.

Next Friday, I am excited that one of my fellow foster moms is starting a monthly gathering of our families.  Our families that look a little different.   Our families that have birth children, adopted children and foster children.  And we will all get to be with other families just like us.  Who understand the dynamics of our family.  All of my girls are so excited.  Because they, because of our family, have a heart for fostering and adopting, too.  And can't wait to hang out with everyone.