Lord, I give you Everything

Everything

Find me here, Speak to me

I want to feel you I need to hear you

You are the light That is leading me

To the place Where I find peace again

You are the strength That keeps me walking

You are the hope That keeps me trusting

You are the life To my soul

You are my purpose You are everything

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

[Cause] You're all I want, You're all I need

Everything, everything

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

Last night I was lying in bed just thinking of how my life is literally about to change before my eyes...this song beautifully describes how I am feeling right now.  The last two days have been long and exhausting.  I have gone from early morning until bedtime without much of a break in between.  But they have been good days.  Just not any time to reflect or think.  Everyone asks...How are you?  Are you ready?  How are you feeling about moving in 3 days and not having a home or a car?  Well, you know, I haven't even thought about it.  Our life this whole past week has been full of last blessings, because it has been the last time we will see most of those we love.  Everyone has gifts for us, love to pour on us, sweet words of life to give us.  It is a little overwhelming...and feels pretty good.  Pretty comfortable.

As I laid in bed last night, I just kind of prayed...God, I am so comfortable lying here.  My life is so perfect.  Why would I walk away from this and get on that plane on Wednesday?  Someone said to me yesterday, You guys go there alot, so I know you love it there...you must be going because you love it so much.  Not exactly.  The comment was innocent enough, but we are going out of obedience.  Yes, God has given us a passion for the Belizean people.  But our choice.  The easier choice would be to stay here.  But walking in disobedience would not have brought blessing on our family or church...so that was the wrong choice.

So, I think what will I feed my kids in a week and half when we move into our new home?  Moms think about stuff like that.  Where will I get this or that?  How will bathe Erika if there is only a shower?  Will she stay by me on the street or run everywhere like she has the last two days?  How long until I truly feel like Belize is my home?  That is a big one.

I do feel that I am ready.  I have a million things I need to do today.  Unpacking and repacking our suitcases.  Laundry...always.  A few errands.  A last ChickFilA lunch.  Our inlaws wanted to take us to a nice sit down restaurant since we are leaving.  Are you kidding?  My kids just want ChickFilA one more time...and for daddy to let them order fries...

I have many pictures of many people and many goodbyes.  I may post some later.  Not until I can use my own computer with wifi again.  My friend gave me a whole pack of beautiful pictures she took our last day at Life Church.  What a precious gift.  I will share some of them soon as well.  I was too busy to take many pictures that day, so have enjoyed looking through and will continue to enjoy them.

I am walking the reality.  We will leave America Feb 2, 2011, and head to Belize, Central America.  This is exactly 11 months after the day we stepped off the plane in Los Angeles for our intensive two weeks of Missionary Training and approximately 22 months after Lee first told me that he felt God wanted us to leave our comfortable life to pursue something different.  A life in a country that does not have everything the US has.  But God is still there.  He is there already, preparing things for me.  And my family.  Things that I can't prepare for.  Things that cannot happen with my flesh.  Things that only His spirit that goes before us, can do.

So....back to the beginning.  "How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You??"  Yesterday was a rough morning of waking up early and very tired.  I was very tired.  And didn't want to go anywhere especially in the rain, with a fussy preschooler.  But as I listened to this song on my itouch, I just felt God's peace come over me, and encourage me.  That we are not in this alone.  That we are just following Him.  On a very DAILY walk.  Each day I have to once again ask myself if I really trust Him with my life?  With my childrens' lives?  In the US, I don't feel as much like I had to do that.

I welcome your prayers.  I am thankful for them.  I feel them.  This week is busy, yet I am calm, for the most part.  And ready.  Yep, I am ready.  Ready for the adventure.  I don't know any other way to express it.