Counting the Cost

Well, the time is here...the huge transition in my life...ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. Life is not as it was just a month ago.

Last month, when we told everyone about our move to Belize, I was able to hold it together. People cried...and I was okay. I felt I had already cried it all out. Well, don't look, but it is hitting me now. I am on the verge of crying at every comment. Every time someone asked me "Are you Okay?" on Sunday, I almost lost it. I held it together when we were up front praying over the new pastors, but inside, I was so sad. I always thought we would pastor Life Church--forever.

So, today as I had lunch with good friends, it was very hard. Not because I am not excited about what God is doing in our lives. I am so sad for what I am leaving. I am finally a stay at home mom full time and yet will be leaving all these other wonderful moms that I have longed to spend time with. I want to take advantage of every moment I have left here... My apartment shows it too. I have so many things I need to be doing, but have set up lunch and coffee with friends all week. I am fixing to go on vacation, but it is more than that...I am counting the cost of following the Lord with everything I have. It means giving up my beautiful home, my spoiled American life, my amazing church family.

But there is not contentment in those things alone. There is only true contentment, true peace, when you fully listen to the Lord and obey.

So, although, I am incredibly sad today...I am still at peace. I still know that God is telling us to go to Belize...that there are people there that will only meet Him if we tell them. And that is worth it all...

But for all those who asked, yes, this is hard. My heart is breaking at leaving all of you. I love my family and church family here.

But I love my Father God as well, and His Approval is what I seek more than any earthly being. And I know, like I know, in the deepest part of my soul, that what He has planned is Good. For the Brockinton Family and for the Life Church Family. He has big plans for the this body. Things that He can only do through the Rudds. And He has big plans for Belmopan, that He can only do through us.

So....that is how it goes:)