Hard Work

I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom...full-time.  I have had glimpses of it over the years, but always knew it was temporary.  And that when the baby got a little older, I would need to bring in income somehow, whether cleaning houses or babysitting other people's kids.  Just that it was not forever.  I have been blessed to only to have had to work a little outside the home, never full-time.  But it brought me a little money to "play" with...outside of the "budget".  And it also kept me very busy.  Even just working part-time, the days I was off, were all about running errands and trying to catch up on household stuff.  Since I have been in Katy, there is has been little time to bake for my kids, enjoy cooking...really, or much of anything else.  It just seemed like I was always busy.  And some of that was not work, but simply being a Pastor's wife...  Now that I am not, I realize just how busy I was.  Even sitting in service yesterday.  It is just so different, for me not to  be worrying about nursery or zoe jr., or answering some business type questions about the church...

Anyway, so now I have my dream come true.  Stay-at-home mom.  No pressure to bring income in.  Homeschooling my kids.  But you know what?  It is still a lot of work.  Since we need to save money, I have to come up with more from scratch type meals and snacks, rather than just purchasing ready made items.   And having kids home all the time, means they eat all the time, that cleaning is more often.  Being a smaller living space, I am less tolerant of messiness as well.  It really has to be kept neat, or someone could get hurt:)

Today, I : vacuumed the whole apartment (I know it is small...), cleaned and mopped the kids bathroom, did a few loads of laundry, ran errands--including going to walmart, made lunch and dinner, baked, helped my kids with homeschool, bathed a preschooler, prepared for tomorrow, loaded and unloaded dishwasher TWICE, cleaned kitchen a million times, read several books to my preschooler, tried to entertain that preschooler and keep her quiet so older two could work, and much more...oh, and blogging.

There are times that are stressful...like when my kids fight.  There are times of great joy...lying on my bed reading to little bit.  And I really must say, I prefer this.  I feel my purpose is strong and focused.  I am not continuously torn between motherhood and work.  I am fully here...all the time.  And when Erika is at preschool (although a temporary arrangement), it is actually a break for me.  When I dropped her off while I worked at the office, I was just too exhausted to be her mommy when I picked her up.  I wanted to go home and take a nap, but had carpool still to run...  So now, when I drop her off, I run the errands that I cannot with her.  I go home and enjoy my older two children, whose needs sometimes get pushed aside for hers.  And when I pick her up in the afternoon, I am so happy to see her.  And ready to enjoy her, fully.

At first, it was a huge adjustment.  My entire world changed in about a month.  But now, I am embracing this new life.  I am not saying every day is easy.  Its not.  But I am content in this part of my life.  I know that living in Belize will require more of me, so am enjoying this season.  For instance, I bought all my food and miscellaneous today in about an hour.  My friend, who just moved there...said I may not even be able to get everything in one day.  PHEW.   Glad I will have kids to help me with all that:)