Adopting an Older Child

This journey.  God has once again put us on this journey to adoption.  It is a long road.  It is at times excruciating.  But the rewards are beautiful.

One of the biggest differences between these two adoptions is this...I am Erika's mom.  I am the only mom she knows and she loves me with all that is within her.  Yes, she knows there is a birthmom out there somewhere.  But it is not the subject of much thought for her.  I have an intimate connection with her heart and honestly, it feels as if I carried her in my womb just like Josh and Tori.

But I am not my older daughter's only mom.  I am just one of her moms.  I did not see her grow up, nor did she get to grow up with the way I do things.  Sometimes even just "connecting" can take a small miracle.

But yesterday, we had a connection.  And it was beautiful.  Erika had to go take a nap, Elizabeth was napping and Tori went to visit a friend.  Lee was in his office.  So it was just us.  This rarely happens.  There is a movie she has wanted to watch that the others did not want to.  So I thought, perfect time.  So I told her I was going to drop Tori off and for her to wait for me and we would watch the movie...her favorite movie.  She screamed with excitement and said "you are the best!"  It was such a moving moment for me.  I came home and made us fancy coffees with chocolate and we watched the movie together...and talked about it along the way.  It was a bonding moment, in all its simplicity, that was so perfect.  And I am so thankful.

I don't know what today will hold.  But I do know one thing.  God asked us to do this.  And He does not leave us when He tells us to do something.  So I pray and believe for more special moments.  More moments to become the best mom for her.  More moments for her to trust me and come to me.