Top Ten Things I love about my kids

10. My kids are the best at forgiving.

9. My kids are my biggest encouragers.

8. There is never a dull moment around my house.

7. My kids are honest, even if it hurts.

6. My kids love my husband and I equally.

5. They are willing to go on the mission field, thinking of their future, rather than dwelling on what they will miss.

4. My older kids are huge helpers with my youngest.

3. My kids always make me smile.

2. My kids know how blessed we are in America, and many of their friends don't .

1. My children already know, at young ages, what is really important in life.

Homeschooling

You know things never really turn out or look quite like you thought they would?

Well, that is a little like how I am feeling about homeschooling my kids. I always thought it would be so cool to homeschool my kids and protect them from that big, bad world of peer pressure. But my kids actually have done pretty well in public school. They have lived for Christ in a world that does not find Christianity cool. They have stood up to kids who were doing the wrong things and lived right in spite of that. I am not saying they were perfect, but I am proud of them.

When I first learned we were moving to Belize, and Lee said, of course, we will homeschool. I was so excited and envisioned quiet mornings of reading together, and me helping them along with their studies. But I didn't think about my littlest, LOUDEST one.

We have had to work on homeschooling all summer and it has been a little different than I thought. I didn't think about the errands that would still need to be ran, the cleaning that would still need to be done, and making three meals a day instead of one. Having the kids home all the time leaves no quiet time for me. No time to shop alone. No time to read a book.

But we are figuring it out slowly. We are learning the ways that we need to homeschool. And thankfully, Erika will go to preschool two days a week in a few weeks.

We are finishing our studies from summer and then will take a little break. September 1st is when we plan to officially start.

And I have to tell you....I have a whole new respect for homeschooling moms.

The Long Good-bye

Going on the Mission Field is so foreign to me (no pun intended=)

We have resigned from churches before, at God's leading. But we have always left within a month or two. Our new pastor has been in place for a few months now, but it is just strange to still be here. We are not at our sending church very often anymore, because we are traveling to other churches a lot, but when we are, it is so weird. These people that we have pastored and poured our lives into, are now just friends. Don't get me wrong...I love being able to spend time with them as friends, and not feel the pressures of also being the pastor's wife. It is just different, in that, I have been on staff as a ministry wife my entire marriage and engagement. So it is just different to just "be" in the church. Yet, I feel like I can't help in nursery, etc, as much, because I never am around consistently anymore.

In a few months, we will move in with my in-laws, which is about an hour from here. Some people have expressed sadness at this, of us being so far away. But this is just part of the process. And I feel it is the best place for my family. As it will be the holidays anyway. And their home is in the country, so it is relaxing. I feel it is just part of the process of our church family being able to move on...and for us to begin the process of leaving.

In some ways, I think it was easier for us just to move quickly, like we did in the past. So I could deal with my emotions and being sad about moving, alone. This time, I feel that I have to go through this process with everyone around me, yet, trying to move on from those around me. I don't know if this makes sense? I want to soak up my time with my friends, but it is bathed with a sadness at knowing that we will be gone in a few months. Sure, we will come back and visit, but our lives will move on without each other...instead of intertwined with each other.

Today, I spent some time with some friends. Just laughing, and cooking, and enjoying each other. I know that God will give me good friends in Belize too. But I just didn't want to leave, because it was just so enjoyable to just sit and enjoy each others' company.

The other thing I have noticed this time, that I never noticed as much in the past, is that when you leave, you find out how much you are loved. Lee spoke at a friends' church yesterday and he introduced Lee by just sharing how much he and his family have appreciated us. I have always known that they love us, but it just made me get teared up for him to be so kind in front of his congregation. And it is the same with people in our church family. I feel so loved right now. And by our family too. I know with my mom just losing her mother, me leaving is painful for her. Tomorrow I will just go and spend some time with her.

So leaving is hard. This is the longest I have ever lived anywhere in my whole life. I really had looked forward to my children growing up in this town...in this church. Because I never had that. Which school reunion should I go to? Since there were so many over the years. I always thought we would retire in this church. Our kids would marry other kids in the church and bring the grandkids over all the time.

But God's plans are always better than ours. He always gives us His best. So this adventure, that I now find myself on, is going to be okay. Its going to be better than okay. Its going to be amazing because it is His plan for my family. And I can't wait to see what He is going to do.

Yesterday, before Lee went up to speak, the Pastor showed a Foursquare video on missions. I tried to link it, but it didn't work. But anyway, Lee and I saw the video in a whole new way yesterday. Because now we are the ones who are walking away from our homes, our family, our friends, to do what He has called us to do.

This process is very emotional. But I wouldn't trade it. God has grown me up in this process. He has shown me that all I am is who He is in me. He has built my character in new and different ways.

How Am I Doing?

A lot of people ask me how I'm doing? It is hard to answer sometimes, but I am thankful that people care. I look around and I have a million things to do, but don't know where to start. I make lists all the time and just chip away a little at a time. It is surreal to really get that we are leaving the country. I am constantly second guessing myself...should we get rid of more stuff or will I be dissappointed not to have familiar things with me? Should I get rid of more of Erika's toys or will she be totally bored if I do? We have gotten rid of SOOOO much, but I look around and we still have so much left. The houses there are furnished, for the most part, but its the little things...

We need to redo our will, get Erika's social security card, make those final dental and medical check ups, prepare to relocate in another 3 months and then another 2 months after that, and have two girls birthdays and Christmas in the middle of all of that. The list goes on and on. Not to mention the everyday things that just need to be done for living...and homeschooling on top of that.

But I really know that I am seeing God's grace and peace I have never known before.

It is still weird/awkward for me at the church we planted/pastored for almost 10 years. I go to events of things I used to be in charge of administering. I am thankful to have those pressures off of me, but sometimes don't know where my place is...but I do know, actually. My place is just there to support our new pastor's family. I know the things they deal with like no one else. The pressures of the Senior Pastor's family are gone from our home, yet, I still remember what it feels like.

My heart is ready. I still sometimes get nervous about the details...about how it will all flow. But, have learned to live day by day. That is the only way to live. Make plans, of course, but live the day you are in.

We are finishing up the kids gap paces and then will take a break for about a week. Then the kids will start Junior Hight and High School (and preschool). I am looking forward to more of a routine. It has been challenging to make the kids do schoolwork, when their friends invite us to do things. You see, I am torn. Because I know our time here is short, I want to savor every moment of being with friends. The problem is that when we don't get the school work done first thing in the morning, it just doesn't get done. But we are near the end of this phase. And all their friends will soon be back in school too, so I am sure that will help.

This is kind of a random blog. But there are a few things I wonder about Erika...and wonder if they are things that are just her personality or because she is adopted. I really think that I am just paranoid...and she is my baby. Yesterday, I took her to the dentist. It was the first time I didn't have to hold her down. She sat in the chair all by herself as they did the xrays. But after a while, she began to call for me. It tore my heart in a million pieces. I wanted to reassure her that I was there, but didn't want her to know I was there, to see if she would just comfort herself and relax. Well, the dentist wanted me to come in. She did sit in the chair, but wimpered as they cleaned her teeth. It made me feel so bad. I don't want her to think I will put her in situations that will scare her, but I also need to take care of her health. And she has to learn to sit and let her teeth be cleaned even if its uncomfortable. Because that is just life. But there is such a balance to that because I also don't ever want her to be in a bad situation and think I won't help her. Isn't love a funny thing?

We are about to visit several different churches over the next few months. It is fun and hard. Because it is funner to go to Life Church where I know and love everyone...and where my family it. But it is also fun to see how other church families function. It is a learning experience for us. And for our kids. To realize that we, as Christians, can worship God in different ways. And that He is just pleased that we Love Him.

Well, it is time for me to settle for the night. Tomorrow will be a busy day for us.

Eighteen Years of Married Bliss

This is Lee and I in the fall of 1991. Can you feel the love? This is the engagement picture that Lee's grandad took when we went down to meet his family...Fast forward to 2007. This is our family on a trip to Israel. God blessed us with two amazing children. But I always felt there was one more...

And so in the spring of 2008, this little girl entered our lives. We finally were able to complete adoption this past February.


Since Adoption Day, our lives have been a whirlwind. We went to Los Angeles for two weeks to prepare to be missionaries, told our beloved church what God has called us to do, put our house on the market, sold 3/4 of our stuff, moved into a 2 bedroom apartment...and the list goes on.





So Tomorrow, Lee and I will have been married for 18 years. And we have three amazing kids. But I needed a break. So, Lee, being the wonderful hubby that he is, found a great deal on Travel Zoo. Lee's parents are in town, so offered to watch the kids for us. Friday was a rough day for me, just preparing to go away, etc. And sometimes Lee's deals are not what I would necessarily want, but he did AWESOME.



I couldn't believe it when we got to the hotel. It was beautiful. And they were so nice. We even got free breakfast this morning.



Here is a picture of the room. Absolutely beautiful and comfortable.

I absolutely loved the bathroom.

Don't worry...he has his clothes on...but that was the best shower ever!!!!

And we had a beautiful view of downtown Houston.

We went to dinner at a very fancy restaurant in the Galleria. I decided to go out of my comfort zone and got sushi. I loved the california roll, but didn't eat anything else. I was so full from the appetizer and knowing the dessert was coming...we so, should've shared a meal!!!

And this is what Lee got for the main course...I ate some of his asparagus...I love it, but no one else in my family does.

And here is my in-elevator entertainment...he always makes me smile...sometimes cringe!!!

And this is what 18 years of a happy marriage looks like.

Thank you honey for an amazing weekend and a wonderful life:) Love you:)

Adoption is a beautiful thing

Last night, I was exhausted and dont know how, but ended up looking at some different videos on YouTube on Adoption. Most were positive, but a few were negative. I choose not to let the negative ones influence my heart.

To me, adoption is a very beautiful thing. It has changed my life, my family's life and a little girl named Erika's life. God put it on my heart a long time ago. We always would say, someday we could adopt. Then that day came. That day we went to the orientation meeting and walked away overwhelmed. But still, we pressed on. We prepared our hearts, our children, our home, our family. In the best way we could. We warned of all the things that could go wrong, and then gave it to God. We prayed very specifically.

It was a bumpy road to become foster parents. We seemed to reach dead ends, but God had a better way.

I will never forget the day when I first heard about Erika. A pastor's wife friend called Lee. Her sister was moving and had a 14 month old Hispanic girl foster child...but it would be a roller coaster. The sister emailed us these pictures:

Even as I look at these pictures, I remember the feeling of being overwhelmed with love. I was looking at my baby. She was perfect. Not long after, we met this doll at Bass Pro Shops. We talk about it alot, so much, that as we passed it the other day, she said "Mommy--look, that is where I was born". Well, yes, that is the day she was born in my heart. The first time I met her, I never wanted to leave her again. God gave me an instant bond with this child. I cannot explain it. I just know it is true. Erika is as much my child as Josh and Tori.

God does amazing things. Literally a week after Erika came to live with us as our foster child, we had a trip to Florida already planned. Lee did a wedding on the beach, so we went ahead and made Disney World part of that trip. Can you see my joy holding my new baby as we take her first plane ride?

This is my first Mother's Day with my family complete. Yes, I am exhausted...but so happy to have all three of my children.

And this is Tori with her much prayed for sister taking a bubble bath together.

And this is my doll with her Mouse ears at Disney World.

I read some negative things last night discouraging women from giving up their children for adoption. But I am so glad that my daughter, Erika, came into my life. I am so glad that I get the privelege of being her Mommy. I am so glad that I followed my heart to find her. She is a joy in our home and family.

I pray for God's wisdom to answer questions that she already asks. Believe me, she is a smart girl. Some she has already asked: "Where is the picture of me in your tummy?" after seeing a picture of me pregnant with Tori. "Why weren't you with me in the hospital when I was born?" "Does adopt mean get your ears pierced?"

But even with all the questions that will come in the future, I do believe Love covers alot. As long as she knows how loved, longed for, prayed for, wished for she is/was... And I believe God will give me wisdom as we go. And so if she believes she was born at Bass Pro Shop (even though I told her Galveston), God will give us grace to walk through it.

A Million Things to Do

This weekend marks Lee and my 18th anniversary, so like I said in the previous post, we are going away overnight. I am so looking forward to a break. It is so different to have the kids out of school FOREVER. And for me not to go to work anymore. The days all seem to run together, not to mention countless getaways this past month. And friends who invite us over...I want to take advantage of every oppurtunity.

I am looking around my living room...ugh, what a mess. Not only do we have all the plastic boxes that we are moving to Belize, but now also have 6 air conditioners, and 4 boxes with tempurpedic mattress toppers. I have piles of laundry that need to be put away, and need to pack three kids for overnight tomorrow. I need to buy groceries, but that will wait until Monday. We are going to eat up some of the food we already have before I add more.

The longer I live in this apartment, the more ready I become to move. We have significantly downsized our life...our stuff. We really have gotten rid of SOOO much. I constantly am going through and making piles of things...that we just don't need. Plus our apartment or house in Belize will probably be furnished right down to pots and pans (but Im taking mine because Im used to them). So we are still taking a lot, though, just because for five years, I want familiar things around me. I do look forward to moving though, because we will have dressers to put our clothes away in...instead of suitcases. We hopefully will have a bigger home, so all the kids aren't squished into one room, and we don't trip over Erikas toys because there is nowhere to put them.

I think God has a way of preparing us for the future. Sometimes in ways that we don't even see until we look back and see His hand. In the beginning, I did not want to go to Belize because I did not want to give up everything I know...everything safe. But God has changed my heart. When I was in Belize a couple of weeks ago, I saw something I see here in America, but on a greater level. The people desperately need discipleship. They need people who will walk with them through life and teach them to turn to God themselves, not to another person to fix their problems. They need to see a living example that God's way really is better than man's way. They need generations of sin...to Stop. So that the next generation will have hope. So, this trip got me very excited. I feel it is very possible for our family to make an impact...with Jesus, of course. And I also felt that we are needed there. It is so cool how much God has done in me. How He has broken fear. I still like a plan, and want to know what is going to happen and all the details, but I see myself doing things I just wouldn't have done before. Like driving home from Conroe yesterday. In the past, I would have been scared to have done that. But I just had confidence and prayed when I got lost, etc. So cool.

We have been so blessed at the response of pastors and individuals to partner with us as we go to Belize. It is just one more confirmation of what God has called us to. But yet, still amazing. I am so thankful for the support our church has given us through this process. Walking into it, we did not know exactly how it would look, but God has provided and taken care of us in ways we could never have imagined. It is a little scary living by faith like this, but also so exciting.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28