Home

We have been in Texas for almost a week now.  One thing I can say is there is nothing like your family.  We have been overwhelmed with greetings and love from both sets of our parents and my brother and sister in law.  The first week has flown by so fast.  Our families have been so helpful, serving us in so many ways...and just reminding us how loved we are:)  I look forward to seeing both of my siblings and families over the next few weeks as well.

We also have been overwhelmed with love from our spiritual family here as well.  Friday night, we were invited to a gathering of a small group that many had attended Life Church over the years...and it just felt like family...seeing everyone again.  Saturday night, we attended Tori's best friend since first grade's quincerra.  Again, what a joy to just be around so many of our spiritual family that we have loved and missed so much.  And then this morning, Lee preached in a church that was birthed shortly after we birthed Life Church, by very good friends of ours.  Just feels good to be "home".

God has been gracious and blessing us, just like He always does.  Friday, we went and tried to purchase Josh a used car.  We just don't have a lot of time, and the search was extremely discouraging.  Josh had a great attitude and NEVER complained...was simply content with the fact that his car might not be as awesome as he might like.  We went to the party, knowing we would need to get up early Saturday morning and hunt again.  As we were leaving close to midnight Friday night, we were all exhausted.  Lee turned to me and said he just didn't feel like looking for a car anymore.  I was like, no, you have to...I can't handle that on my own!  But he was joking because at the party, someone pulled Josh and Lee aside and told them that they felt the Lord telling them to give Josh their old, but very nice, perfect condition car.  As they told me, I just was overwhelmed and began to cry.  One, because I was so relieved not to have to look anymore.  Two, because Josh is not just getting a car...but he is getting a very nice car.  Three, because once again God gently reminded me...He has Josh in the palm of His hand and is taking care of his every need.  I can go back to Belize, knowing that he has a safe, dependable car.  God is so good.

The other thing about this trip is that although I am now a pastor's wife in Belize, my heart has never left or stopped caring for the people here in Katy.  My heart broke for a very dear friend that has had a couple of rough years.  And it was just so easy and natural for me to pray for her...like we had never moved.  I got to see a baby that is now two...that I remember praying with her mom to conceive...crying with her, being with her at her wedding not too many years before that.  Praying over a girl that spent many years in our home here in Katy and tearing up as we watched the slideshow of years past, my daughter and her inseparable.

Sometimes coming home is very hard to see all we have left behind.  But then, I see a pic on Instagram of two girls in Belize...that I would consider spiritual daughters...and realize how deeply I missed seeing them Thursday, this morning, around town.  That is how it is in ministry.  You have your heart in different places.  I am so thankful for our support system here in Texas.  But I am also so thankful for the people in my life in Belize.  There are pros and cons to both lives, both places.  I love the AC here.  It is amazing.  I love shopping here.  But the traffic is insane...all the time.  And our schedule is just so busy, that we constantly are checking our calendars to make sure we are not missing something.  We literally have no free days.  EVERY SINGLE DAY IS PLANNED.

I am thankful for this time at home.  Thankful I got to each lunch with my parents.  Thankful that I got to laugh as Erika could not believe how the restaurant kept refilling our chips and salsa and drinks.  Thankful that she got to rock climb and that Tori got to be a part of her best friend's very special day.  But I am also thankful that God is using our family in Belize.  And I am thankful for the people he has in our lives there.

Everyone has asked how I am doing with Josh staying for college.  If I do not think too deeply, I am great.  He is excited and I am excited for him.  But I love my boy.  And I want to savor every single day we have over the next six weeks.   I covet your prayers for him, but for me too.  I want to leave him strong, not crying and falling apart.  I want him to be able to enjoy this time in his life for all it should be...

We have encountered some difficulties getting Josh's Texas Drivers License.  Please pray as we try to help leave him with as many things in place as possible.  He can drive on his Belize license for now, but we would feel better him getting his Texas license.

This afternoon has been very relaxing.  Which is great because tomorrow the whirlwind of activity starts at 8 am until....I don't know. 

I have not opened my computer since being here.  I am using Lee's.  But if you are my Facebook friend, there are pictures on there.

Right before we left Belize, the Lord gave me the following scripture to pray over Josh.  I am already seeing it come to pass...

Isaiah 55:8-9
⁸ “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
⁹ “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

Counting the Cost....and Counting it again and again...

Four years ago, when we began to sell most of our earthly possessions and planned to move to Belize, I counted the cost.  But what I didn't realize is that was just the beginning.  Over the past few years, I have to recount that cost over and over.  I have had to remind myself of the calling.  And realize that nothing good ever happens without a little sacrifice.  But I also have realized that there are great blessings of being in the center of His will.

Yesterday was one of those days.  You know...another holiday...without family.  Those can be really hard days.  A pitiful Easter basket with mostly old, spoiled candy:( (it is just hard to find good candy here...and you don't know until you open it:( That can be kind of disappointing.  A lunch with a friend that will soon return to the states.

But God intervenes...when we need Him most.  Lunch with friends that ended up being filled with laughter. helped cover the missing family from home.  Pictures on Facebook of candy that a sweet friend bought for my kids to get when we arrive in the states.  God always blesses when we need it most.

To round out the day, we had friends from church over last night for more just hanging out time.  Some of the people were playing Monopoly while we visited on the couch.  Tori didn't want to play.  She said, "Do you remember what happened the last time we tried to play this game?  We were having so much fun...and then everything changed..."  I didn't remember.  She said, "You know, the night she first came...and it began...all the months of craziness..."

This made me so sad.  That evening I was immediately swept up, an unplanned meeting in Lee's office with someone.  But realizing now that my kids...they were left to pick up the pieces, literally.  How sad it must have been for them, enjoying a fun family game time, only to be interrupted by but another crisis.

Yes, the cost is great.  Our kids have experienced a lot of things here.  They have sacrificed greatly.  They pay just as high a cost as we do.

But God always intervenes.  Sometimes the hardest days are right before we are about to go "home" for a visit.  But also, "home" is refreshing.  We get Christmas, Easter, birthdays, all in one month.  One month of being loved on, prayed on, blessed.  Memaws and Aunts who buy all our favorite foods and make us feel so loved from the moment we step off the plane.

Yesterday, as I spent some time with my daughter who once again has to say goodbye to another friend, her heart broken...God reminded me to remind her...that she does not sow in vain.  That she is sowing seeds that will bear good fruit.  When she goes and loves on twenty girls from babies to teens...at the children's home, she is planting good seeds.  That is why they smother her every time they see her.  When she pours into the girls in her small group, it is not in vain.  My girl is much like me.  Yet different.  Better.   But I know I was called to serve, really serve God when I was her age.  I see those same things in her.  And it is hard sometimes.  Ministry is really really hard.  Being a pastor's kid is not always fun...but the fruit, the blessings are abundant.  When God holds you in the center of his hands, there is such peace...and it is worth it all.

And just a few photos from yesterday that a friend took.  She is taking photos for anyone who wants on Sunday mornings...so I made my family dress up and scheduled the first slot this Sunday...  And I am so glad I did.

I love my sweet little family...so much:)

This is all I have so far...can't wait to see the rest <3 nbsp="" p="">

God is in Control

I think the theme that the Lord has been trying to teach me this year is...Do I really trust God?  Do I really know He has our back?  That He is our Protector?

We have journeyed some difficult things this year.  None of these journeys we would have chosen to take.  But yet God has remained faithful.  He has continually shown us He is holding our family in His hands and that His purpose for us here in Belize is bigger than we even know.

I love the words in this song, "I Can Feel You" by Jenn Johnson.  It is my new song right now...really ministering to me.  Sometimes we don't "feel" like worshiping, but if we do and just are obedient, He is there.  We truly can "feel" Him.  Unlike us, who are tossed around by the emotions we are feeling in a current situation with many ups and downs, God is constant.  He is always there.  He is Faithful, even when we are not.

Sometimes I feel like I am alone...that God is not intervening like I think He should.  I get frustrated, confused, sometimes even angry.  But that is not right.  God sees things we do not.  He knows what is best.  When I look backwards, I can see this.  I just often cannot see it when I am in the middle of the situation.

Sunday morning I was struggling with a particular situation...something God has told us to do, but there are so many roadblocks.  It just seems unfair.  If we are obedient, it is supposed to be easy right?

As we entered worship, EVERY SINGLE SONG was relevant.  I feel I held back a little simply because I was afraid I may begin to cry uncontrollably:)  But one was "Give Me Faith"...  The words were so powerful.

The bridge:

I may be weak, but
Your Spirit's strong in me.
My flesh may fail, but
My God You never will . 

In my own flesh, I am so weak.  I am so thankful that He is strength when I need it most!

I Can Feel You // Jenn Johnson & Bethel Music // Tides Official Lyric Video

Its Official

Josh got his Belizean license today…YayJ  And he has done an online course…for six long hours…to pass his written test in Texas.  So, now we just need the actual Texas driver’s license and we are settled.  He is two years behind his friends in Texas since they can get their licenses at 16...but we are glad it is taken care of!

For Josh’s b-day, we had a few of his friends over for Barry’s homemade, delicious pizza and cheesecake.  We played a few games.  It was fun.  The last kid left around 11, which was way past Lee and my bedtime…we were tired.

Saturday, Erika broke out in a mysterious rash that looked like huge whelps all over her upper body.  All the clinics were closed, so we ended up having to take her to the hospital.  It came back during the night and so she has been on medication all week to keep it away.  So, our little trip to Caye Caulker, we were a little worried taking her so far from the hospital, but she was fine.  We just really tried to limit her sun exposure.  But she was okay with that because there was AC and a TV.  Two treats we do not have at our houseJ.

By the time, we finally arrived at Caye Caulker on Sunday, after church, lunch in the car, an hour drive to the city, parking, an hour ride to the island…I was exhausted.  But just getting away, eating out, relaxing….does so much for your soul.  The hotel we booked with has been updated and we were able to get a little two bedroom apt.  With our larger family, it was a blessing.  Everyone just had a great time relaxing.

Lee took the older kids to swim with the sharks on Monday, while Erika and I went swimming down at the split.  It was warm, but not too hot, which was nice.  But the AC in the room was awesomeJ!!!!

 It was a blessing to just get away with our little family.  Before we take Josh off to college.  It was only two days…but two really nice days.  And two days of remembering how blessed I amJ

Today, my Firstborn is 18

Wow.  Where have the years gone?  So many big milestones in such a short time.  Josh is 18 today.  He should have or will be getting his drivers license next week (you have to be 18 in Belize).  In a matter of weeks, he will have his first car.  And then his first job.  And then living on his own for the first time.  Lots of milestones in a short time.  We really need God's grace to cover Josh during these next few months.

Tonight we will celebrate with some of the friends he has made here the past few years in Belize.  Josh is my quiet one.  He is really, really funny...with the family and his closest friends.  He brings great joy into this home.

Next week, we plan to celebrate in a special way with just our family.  Our last family trip here in Belize, before Josh is off on his own.  Sure, we will take more trips over the years...but he will be an adult then:)  I am really looking forward to savoring the next few months.  Last night, the girls, Lee, and I wrote "love/encouragement" notes to give to Josh today.  I was moved to tears by some of the things his sisters wrote to him.  There is this whole special sibling relationship...that is just theirs....and so beautiful.  Josh has made Tori laugh her whole life.  When she was a baby, he was the only one who could make her laugh.  They have such a precious relationship.  And to Erika, this big brother who was "SO TALL" and could lift her up high...and who also is a lot like her.  We will miss the "big brother" part in our home so much.

Happy Eighteenth Birthday to an amazing young man.  Your dreams are big and I pray that, with God, your dreams are fulfilled.  That you are able to be used to your fullest potential.

We love you, Josh!!!

Getting Ready

Its just a few weeks away until we get to come home and see everyone...

This week has been full of preparations.  Calling and making doctor's appointments, getting Josh a new passport, trying to finish the school year...or at least stay on track.  Planning two months of children's church...on top of what I do each week already.  So much to do.  Even doing some shopping online.  With free shipping, I have discovered it saves me so much time to just go ahead and buy things and have them waiting for us.  You see, when you only shop once a year, there is so much to remember.  So many things that I can only get this one time I come home:)

I always like to evaluate where I am "at" as we look towards a little break from missionary life.  The first time we were here for 18 long months with no break at all.  No running through a drive through, no trips to Walmart, and on and on.  By the time we got home, I was just overdue of so many things...emotionally, spiritually, etc.  Last year, we went again and it had only been like 9 months, with a short trip to North Carolina in between, so I went home not really "needing" it as much.  But this year, it has been a rough year at times.  I think we have walked through some of the most difficult things in all of our years of ministry.  BUT we have survived and our faith is stronger than ever.  I have done things out of my comfort zone this past year that I have never done before.  I have ministered in ways that I never have before.  But, I am ready.  Ready to see our families.  Ready for life in AC.  Ready for some shopping.  Ready for some different food!!!!  Ready for some rest.  Because life in ministry is intense.  And it is hard to get a break.  Really get away.  Because there is always something we need to do...

Emotionally, the hardest part is knowing that as the time draws near, the time with Josh gets shorter.  But, although I know it will be hard to leave him, I really feel that I am at a place of peace now.  Knowing this is part of having kids.  They grow up.  They eventually move out and start their own lives.  And he is so ready.  So, we have made all the prep we know to make.  He will get his drivers license here next week on his 18th bday...  He will finish his senior year soon.  And then we get two awesome months with him, before leaving him to find a job and then start college in the fall.  Praying that all the processes go smoothly:)

This year is full of change for our family.  As Josh leaves, Elizabeth will be joining us.  We are in the beginning stages of building our own church building.  And as I know from the past, that involves a lot of work.  So I am looking forward to a little relaxing in the states before this next year begins:)