This weekend was a crazy one for LifeNet. We had a team of young people here from Seattle, and I believe it is a trip they will never forget.
We had the demonic manifest on Friday night, had an amazing move of the Holy Spirit at the Life Advance on Saturday, and then another manifestation on Sunday morning during our service. But you see, God is more powerful and mightier than any schemes of the devil. And that is our confidence as believers. Our leaders were stretched, but it was a growing experience for all of us.
But by Monday morning, Lee and I were just emotionally and physically wiped out. So we decided to take a day off and go visit Spanish Lookout. It is like a little piece of Texas and we have a family in our church, that we like to visit when we go. We always come back refreshed.
Lee and Erika had left a little before us to run an errand and drop off the van for mechanical work. So, the other girls are I were in the SUV on our way to pick them up and head out of town. As I was driving up the street, a local guy that I know, but would not normally stop for, waved me down. Not knowing what he wanted, I was a little unsure, but felt I was supposed to stop for him. A lady was on her way walking to the hospital (prob a 30 min walk from here) and was not going to make it. Could I take her to the hospital? Instantly, I knew it was the right thing. It is not America where you can just call 911 and even calling a taxi for her, I just felt there was no time.
I did not know this woman. I have never seen her before. I still would like to find the guy to see if he knows what happened.
As she got in my car, she was sweating profusely ( it is not that hot yet). She was barely breathing. Every breath was a battle. She smelled strongly of smoke, like she had been around it or just smoked. I immediately laid hands on her and prayed. I didn't even ask permission. Then began to drive, praying the whole way. Praying for God to keep me calm. I am not calm in emergencies. I began to think what will I do if she dies? Yes, it was that critical. The hospital has changed recently and I was not sure how to get her to the ER. I left the girls in the car so I could walk her in. It was just crazy. Noone there to help. No wheelchair to put her in. But God helped her walk in. But as soon as I got the security guard to open the door, (I had to scream at him that it was an emergency!!), the ER doctors were working on her immediately. I think she was having a heart attack. But the miracle and blessing is that I got her there alive. I pray that the few minutes she was in my car, she felt Jesus.
I also pray that I can see her again. That I can share Jesus with her. That I can tell her that it was not just a coincidence that I was driving by. That Jesus had me go at that very moment to help her because He loves her and cares about her.
We are in the final months of our time here in Belize...and it seems like God is just taking things up a notch as we go:)
Friday, March 2, 2018
Trusting God's Timing is Always Perfect
This Faith walk is at times, very puzzling. Often I feel like we are walking with a blindfold on. It seems as if each time, God stretches us a little bit more.
"Do you trust me?", He says.
We do, of course. We trust Him with our very lives. We trust that He will provide. That does not mean we sit back and do not do our part. Faith without works is Dead. We must trust and act, listening as He gently whispers in our ear. See, God doesn't ever give us the whole picture. Coming to Belize was purely obedience. We had to trust every little step. That He would find us a home. That He would bring people to build a church. But we had to go out, as well, and build relationships. But when He is in it, it is actually pretty smooth and pretty easy. That is how obedience is. Even with our children, it is always easier when they just listen. When they obey what we say without a fight, it is so much smoother.
I am in a time of stretching. God is stretching me in new ways. And a lot of it has to do with trusting this whisper of the Holy Spirit. Trusting that God truly is holding our family in His hands.
God's timing is crazy.
We have been trying to get in the building for years, and all of a sudden...it is coming to completion. Every day, Lee is excited to tell us the new thing that has been done. Every time I go to the building, there is something different. But the timing is perfect. Never early. Always right on time.
We have lived in the same house for seven years. Slowly, we are selling things and it is feeling empty. But God is providing buyers, so that we will have finances on the other side to start again. The very fact that the landlord is ready to take the house back now...right when we feel it is time to go. God's timing is so perfect.
Kailey's adoption was right on time. The very last day that it needed to happen, it did. And we are believing the same for Aviya. Although this blind faith is difficult at times, when we are walking through it, hindsight is always easier.
Please do continue to pray for the transition of LifeNet. We are in such an exciting time. Every week, I can't wait to see what God is going to do. Which also makes it sad to leave. But I am confident that God will take the church to even greater places once we leave. I am excited as I am seeing new leadership stepping up.
Also, please pray for the next place for our family. It is so nervous not knowing where God will send us next. But we do believe God holds our little family in the palm of His hand. He knows our hearts' desire to be close to our big kids and our parents. And we await the good plans He has for us.
"Do you trust me?", He says.
We do, of course. We trust Him with our very lives. We trust that He will provide. That does not mean we sit back and do not do our part. Faith without works is Dead. We must trust and act, listening as He gently whispers in our ear. See, God doesn't ever give us the whole picture. Coming to Belize was purely obedience. We had to trust every little step. That He would find us a home. That He would bring people to build a church. But we had to go out, as well, and build relationships. But when He is in it, it is actually pretty smooth and pretty easy. That is how obedience is. Even with our children, it is always easier when they just listen. When they obey what we say without a fight, it is so much smoother.
I am in a time of stretching. God is stretching me in new ways. And a lot of it has to do with trusting this whisper of the Holy Spirit. Trusting that God truly is holding our family in His hands.
God's timing is crazy.
We have been trying to get in the building for years, and all of a sudden...it is coming to completion. Every day, Lee is excited to tell us the new thing that has been done. Every time I go to the building, there is something different. But the timing is perfect. Never early. Always right on time.
We have lived in the same house for seven years. Slowly, we are selling things and it is feeling empty. But God is providing buyers, so that we will have finances on the other side to start again. The very fact that the landlord is ready to take the house back now...right when we feel it is time to go. God's timing is so perfect.
Kailey's adoption was right on time. The very last day that it needed to happen, it did. And we are believing the same for Aviya. Although this blind faith is difficult at times, when we are walking through it, hindsight is always easier.
Please do continue to pray for the transition of LifeNet. We are in such an exciting time. Every week, I can't wait to see what God is going to do. Which also makes it sad to leave. But I am confident that God will take the church to even greater places once we leave. I am excited as I am seeing new leadership stepping up.
Also, please pray for the next place for our family. It is so nervous not knowing where God will send us next. But we do believe God holds our little family in the palm of His hand. He knows our hearts' desire to be close to our big kids and our parents. And we await the good plans He has for us.
Monday, February 5, 2018
I am doing a new thing
In 2001, Lee and I had been married nine years. We had two beautiful children. Tori was 2 and Josh was 5. We had pastored two churches ( the second one was a plant). In May of that year, we released the church but did not have direction what the next step was. Ministry had been hard on us. We were weary. I did not want us to be in full time ministry anymore. We moved in with Lees parents for a time of just asking God what was next.
It was during this season that I remember feeling discouraged. It was during this season that we met a man who has remained one of our greatest mentors. He never could have known then, but what his words of encouragement did for us. Our lives could have gone a very different way. But he believed we could do it. We could try again. We could plant another church. And we went on to plant two more healthy churches and see both moved into a building before the Lord releasing us.
This weekend, Dennis and Patsy Easter came to Belize. It was their 49 th anniversary and they came and blessed us. They blessed me in such deep ways.
I kept looking at Dennis as he ministered to our leaders, took our pastoral staff to dinner and ministered again on Sunday morning and could not believe he was really here. And his wife, Patsy, so down to earth and loving and encouraging to me. How she understood things about my life that her words just breathed life and energy into me. Dennis is a brilliant man. His ministry was annointed. I hung on every word as I felt God speaking through him to me.
Sunday morning, he spoke on Isaiah 43:18-19
The message was for our congregation but so perfect for what Lee and I are walking through.
Right now, I am sitting on a beautiful balcony overlooking the ocean.
Dennis and Patsy have and continue to support Lee and I here in Belize. Their desire was to take our family on a vacation so we could recharge for this final sprint of our journey. The heartbreaking part is that Patsy got sick and they had to go home. But allowed us to still stay here lwith our girls.
We would not have had a vacation now. Not here. Not like this. But God used them to bless us so we could just be as a family. We have so many big changes coming.
God is doing a new thing at LifeNet. We are so excited. But he is also do a new thing in our family. And we are excited about that too.
We are so thankful that He goes before us. He prepares us for what’s coming. He prepares the place we are going.
I sat on the beach this morning watching my girls attempt to body surf and having the time of their lives. Feeling that we don’t deserve this. And God just smiled and told me to soak it all in. To enjoy what He is doing for us. So I am.
It was during this season that I remember feeling discouraged. It was during this season that we met a man who has remained one of our greatest mentors. He never could have known then, but what his words of encouragement did for us. Our lives could have gone a very different way. But he believed we could do it. We could try again. We could plant another church. And we went on to plant two more healthy churches and see both moved into a building before the Lord releasing us.
This weekend, Dennis and Patsy Easter came to Belize. It was their 49 th anniversary and they came and blessed us. They blessed me in such deep ways.
I kept looking at Dennis as he ministered to our leaders, took our pastoral staff to dinner and ministered again on Sunday morning and could not believe he was really here. And his wife, Patsy, so down to earth and loving and encouraging to me. How she understood things about my life that her words just breathed life and energy into me. Dennis is a brilliant man. His ministry was annointed. I hung on every word as I felt God speaking through him to me.
Sunday morning, he spoke on Isaiah 43:18-19
Isaiah 43:18-19 New International Version (NIV)
18 “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
Right now, I am sitting on a beautiful balcony overlooking the ocean.
Dennis and Patsy have and continue to support Lee and I here in Belize. Their desire was to take our family on a vacation so we could recharge for this final sprint of our journey. The heartbreaking part is that Patsy got sick and they had to go home. But allowed us to still stay here lwith our girls.
We would not have had a vacation now. Not here. Not like this. But God used them to bless us so we could just be as a family. We have so many big changes coming.
God is doing a new thing at LifeNet. We are so excited. But he is also do a new thing in our family. And we are excited about that too.
We are so thankful that He goes before us. He prepares us for what’s coming. He prepares the place we are going.
I sat on the beach this morning watching my girls attempt to body surf and having the time of their lives. Feeling that we don’t deserve this. And God just smiled and told me to soak it all in. To enjoy what He is doing for us. So I am.
Trust
I think of how as a child, if we grow up in a stable home, we just trust. As a child, I always knew my parents would take care of me. I never knew hunger. I always had a safe place to stay. Even during times of transition.
Several people have asked me how am I doing. Not knowing what’s next. And honestly, I am totally covered in His peace. I’m in a season of feeling God very close to me. Or I’m close to Him. I have no idea where I’ll live in six months, but I am peaceful. I love worship. You know that by now I’d you’ve read my blog. God speaks to me so powerfully as I worship at church or alone.
My current favorite song is, “I am no victim.” Here’s the link if you want to listen. I am no victim
This particular verse just keeps playing over and over in my spirit.
I do not know where we will go next. I know that my Father God knows Lee and my giftings. I know that He also knows the desires of my heart. I know that He has never let me down. And that He loves our family. And that is just the most beautiful place to be.
Several people have asked me how am I doing. Not knowing what’s next. And honestly, I am totally covered in His peace. I’m in a season of feeling God very close to me. Or I’m close to Him. I have no idea where I’ll live in six months, but I am peaceful. I love worship. You know that by now I’d you’ve read my blog. God speaks to me so powerfully as I worship at church or alone.
My current favorite song is, “I am no victim.” Here’s the link if you want to listen. I am no victim
This particular verse just keeps playing over and over in my spirit.
Cause He is my Father, I do not wonder
If His plans for me are good
If He'll come through like He should
'Cause He is provision and enough wisdom
To usher in my brightest days
To turn my mourning into praise
I do not know where we will go next. I know that my Father God knows Lee and my giftings. I know that He also knows the desires of my heart. I know that He has never let me down. And that He loves our family. And that is just the most beautiful place to be.
Thursday, February 1, 2018
Mission Accomplished
This is what I feel the Lord telling me these days. It is a weird place to be...the transition. But I feel like He has been telling me thank you for doing what I sent you here to do.
Seven years ago tomorrow, we got up in freezing cold temps, with two kids throwing up, a dog in a carrier, an active preschooler and seven suitcases and many carry-ons and headed to the airport before dawn. Just a few hours later, we landed in Belize City. We were already weary, but thankfully were greeted by missionary friends who just loved on us and welcomed us into this new, very hot life that God has called us to. We spent the first night with them and it was a friendship that we really treasured over the years.
Even that first day, we felt the beginning of the spiritual battles that we would endure over the years. Our poor kids. But we survived and only were made stronger through each experience.
The next day, we came and moved into a hotel for seven days. We went and ate lunch at a restaurant of a couple that would become one of our first families in the church. I just met with her yesterday and she shared how they look to us as parents and how much they will miss us. God called us to be spiritual mom and dads to the Belizean people. To teach them what healthy, real, godly families look like. And we have many sons and daughters now here in Belize. So many young women that I love like a daughter. Lee has so many sons. So many marriages that we have walked through hard times with and seen them come out victorious. I think we have also taught what a healthy church should look like.
Today, Lee posted the newest picture of the new building. It is still a little surreal. For so long, we worked and worked on raising funds for the building. For so long, we prayed to be in the new building. Now, it is all happening. Lee and Kudzai are overwhelmingly busy as things are moving at the building and pastoring the church. But I am so thankful we are still here for this part. That we get to see the dream come to completion. To see what God asked us to do, come about. It is the most beautiful thing.
Coming and leaving. It is always such a long process. Today, I looked at an apartment for our final months here. I am not sure if we will get that one. But the landlord is who we had for a month seven years ago. She remembered us well. She couldn't believe how big Erika is. As we sell all of our things, figure out what to ship home, there are just so many details to deal with. Yet, I feel peaceful in the midst of it all. I feel God's arms around me in a deeper way than I have in a while. Just a sweet contentment in the season we are in.
I want us to leave in a healthy way. And I feel that we are. I feel that God has been in every step of the transition. I feel that the people at LifeNet are at peace, as well. There has just been such a sweet presence of the Lord in our services lately. The set up of our current sanctuary is intimate. Something that was lacking at George Price. I am thankful that we had someplace to rent all of those years, but there is something about worshiping in your own home. Being able to set the atmosphere. Not the sterility of a rented facility.
God is so amazing. I am so grateful to Him for the way He has been just so faithful to Lee and I all of these years. How He is faithful to Josh and Tori at their college. Tori calls me all the time and just tells me how thankful she is for where she is at. I love that she wants to share what she is learning in class or at chapel. God knew that SAGU would be the perfect place for our kids to land after years on the mission field.
Please continue to pray for LifeNet, that they will go to the next level without us!
Please pray for our family, as we don't know what is next. We pray that soon we will have some direction. Pray as we integrate our children into a very different culture over the next year. We are excited to see where God will use us next.
Seven years ago tomorrow, we got up in freezing cold temps, with two kids throwing up, a dog in a carrier, an active preschooler and seven suitcases and many carry-ons and headed to the airport before dawn. Just a few hours later, we landed in Belize City. We were already weary, but thankfully were greeted by missionary friends who just loved on us and welcomed us into this new, very hot life that God has called us to. We spent the first night with them and it was a friendship that we really treasured over the years.
Even that first day, we felt the beginning of the spiritual battles that we would endure over the years. Our poor kids. But we survived and only were made stronger through each experience.
The next day, we came and moved into a hotel for seven days. We went and ate lunch at a restaurant of a couple that would become one of our first families in the church. I just met with her yesterday and she shared how they look to us as parents and how much they will miss us. God called us to be spiritual mom and dads to the Belizean people. To teach them what healthy, real, godly families look like. And we have many sons and daughters now here in Belize. So many young women that I love like a daughter. Lee has so many sons. So many marriages that we have walked through hard times with and seen them come out victorious. I think we have also taught what a healthy church should look like.
Today, Lee posted the newest picture of the new building. It is still a little surreal. For so long, we worked and worked on raising funds for the building. For so long, we prayed to be in the new building. Now, it is all happening. Lee and Kudzai are overwhelmingly busy as things are moving at the building and pastoring the church. But I am so thankful we are still here for this part. That we get to see the dream come to completion. To see what God asked us to do, come about. It is the most beautiful thing.
Coming and leaving. It is always such a long process. Today, I looked at an apartment for our final months here. I am not sure if we will get that one. But the landlord is who we had for a month seven years ago. She remembered us well. She couldn't believe how big Erika is. As we sell all of our things, figure out what to ship home, there are just so many details to deal with. Yet, I feel peaceful in the midst of it all. I feel God's arms around me in a deeper way than I have in a while. Just a sweet contentment in the season we are in.
I want us to leave in a healthy way. And I feel that we are. I feel that God has been in every step of the transition. I feel that the people at LifeNet are at peace, as well. There has just been such a sweet presence of the Lord in our services lately. The set up of our current sanctuary is intimate. Something that was lacking at George Price. I am thankful that we had someplace to rent all of those years, but there is something about worshiping in your own home. Being able to set the atmosphere. Not the sterility of a rented facility.
God is so amazing. I am so grateful to Him for the way He has been just so faithful to Lee and I all of these years. How He is faithful to Josh and Tori at their college. Tori calls me all the time and just tells me how thankful she is for where she is at. I love that she wants to share what she is learning in class or at chapel. God knew that SAGU would be the perfect place for our kids to land after years on the mission field.
Please continue to pray for LifeNet, that they will go to the next level without us!
Please pray for our family, as we don't know what is next. We pray that soon we will have some direction. Pray as we integrate our children into a very different culture over the next year. We are excited to see where God will use us next.
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
As the House Empties
So much has happened since my last post. Our house feels a little emptier. We are beginning to sell some of the bigger furniture. Today, we sold my dish set and one of our kitchen tables. Dinner will be cozier now. We have sold everything outside. We are just waiting for the office to be picked up this week. Our back yard is so empty. Our porches are empty. The wooden deck is empty. It is weird. The bedrooms are beginning to empty and fill with the plastic crates we moved here with. They have been stored for seven years and were very dirty. The 11 year olds and Lee have cleaned them and brought inside as we begin to pack what we will ship. It is definitely here.
Its funny. There have been times over the years, when we have gone through some pretty hard struggles, that I was just ready to go home. But now that it is here, my heart is heavy. As
I go about my errands, I realize it will soon be different. I have relationships where I shop. I go to the produce stand where the ladies know me well. They know my girls. I smell the small bakery behind and walk around and get some wheat rolls for dinner. The owner also knows me well. I go to the grocery store where I have the same check out lady each time. Belmopan is small. I will miss these relationships that I have everywhere I go. People who know me. Know my family.
Today, I met with a friend over tea. Tomorrow, I will have coffee with one of the first ladies we started the church with. What I will miss most are the people who have become my family. I want to cherish time with them, more than anything. Lee is so super crazy busy. We are so thankful for the progress on the building, but it also just adds to his and the new pastor's busyness.
A lot of missionaries don't make it long in Belize. It is tough here for Americans. But its kind of like once you make it, get through some of the trials and survive, that you don't want to leave. It has become my home. I belong now. Yes, I still sometimes feel like an outsider because of the color of my skin. But also, not so much here in Belmopan. Because people know me here. These people who I was once so foreign to, have become my people, my city, my home.
Please pray for us as we begin a new journey. We do not know where the Lord will send us next and that is a little scary. Yet, we are covered in His peace. That is what is so cool about serving the Lord. We know that wherever He sends us, He has ordained. We know that He has gone before us. And we are so grateful for that.
Its funny. There have been times over the years, when we have gone through some pretty hard struggles, that I was just ready to go home. But now that it is here, my heart is heavy. As
I go about my errands, I realize it will soon be different. I have relationships where I shop. I go to the produce stand where the ladies know me well. They know my girls. I smell the small bakery behind and walk around and get some wheat rolls for dinner. The owner also knows me well. I go to the grocery store where I have the same check out lady each time. Belmopan is small. I will miss these relationships that I have everywhere I go. People who know me. Know my family.
Today, I met with a friend over tea. Tomorrow, I will have coffee with one of the first ladies we started the church with. What I will miss most are the people who have become my family. I want to cherish time with them, more than anything. Lee is so super crazy busy. We are so thankful for the progress on the building, but it also just adds to his and the new pastor's busyness.
A lot of missionaries don't make it long in Belize. It is tough here for Americans. But its kind of like once you make it, get through some of the trials and survive, that you don't want to leave. It has become my home. I belong now. Yes, I still sometimes feel like an outsider because of the color of my skin. But also, not so much here in Belmopan. Because people know me here. These people who I was once so foreign to, have become my people, my city, my home.
Please pray for us as we begin a new journey. We do not know where the Lord will send us next and that is a little scary. Yet, we are covered in His peace. That is what is so cool about serving the Lord. We know that wherever He sends us, He has ordained. We know that He has gone before us. And we are so grateful for that.
The Journey Home
**I started this a couple weeks ago, but could not log into my account. Thanks to Lee for fixing it:)
1/17/18
The Journey Home
In two weeks, we will have lived in Belize for seven years. That is a really long time. This Sunday, Lee will announce that we are beginning the process of going home. There are so many things going on that it overwhelms me. Yet, I also have peace.
We have built a life here over these years. We have added two more children to our family. We have birthed a church of people, who have become our dearest friends. There are areas of faith that have been tested and gone so much deeper in these years. God has always been faithful. No matter what.
As I was bringing in the laundry, that has been drying outside, I thought that I will probably not do that in America. It is so different there. I don’t have to worry about the ridiculous electricity costs there. But I’ve kind of grown to love my times of hanging laundry...on nice days like today. It gets me outside. I check for snakes as I step carefully. Although in seven years, I have never seen one. I check the lime tree to see if there might even be just one. Because they always seem better from my own tree.
I look where the trampoline once was. It sold quickly. I look at the picnic table that has hosted many Net gatherings of youth, smores parties, serious meetings. Soon, it will be gone too. I see the empty office, as the guys have moved over to the new building. So different to not see Lee all day long, or only for a quick lunch. We are in a different season.
We will have our first garage sale in a couple weeks. We are trying to go through things. What to trash. What to ship back and mostly what to try to sell. We need to sell so much so that we will have finances on the other side as we once again start over.
And where will that be, Lord? We have very little material wise left in Texas. Some ornaments, a few special dishes and pictures. Our worldly possessions lost their meaning when we were told to “Go”. I grieved during that time, giving up what we had accumulated over the 18 years. But also began to realize it is freeing when you have less “things”.
So, once again, we begin the journey of getting rid of stuff. We will sell our furniture, appliances. Things are worn out. Belize has been tough on our things. Our sheets are in bad shape. Clothes that have been washed too much and blankets that have holes in them. We will just keep the best. The things that are still usable.
Sunday will bear many emotions. There will be deep sadness. Some people do not know at all. Others know, but not how soon. We will cry and learn to savor the last months with those we love. I feel like I have a deeper understanding of Tori’s journey last spring. I thought she would be excited to go. Back to America. Back to an easier life. Back to Air conditioning. LOL. But although that life sounds fun, we have a life here too. And there is deep sadness in leaving. Being a missionary, your heart is in two places. You long to go HOME to your family. But you also long to stay where you have built a new home.
We have rented this house for seven years. Although I have not decorated it like I would have a more permanent home, it still bears our mark. The pictures on the wall are my kids, my family. The table that we have eaten so many meals together with family and invited guests. The living room that we have celebrated seven years of birthdays and Christmases and Easter egg hunts and nighttime prayers. The bedrooms where many years of homeschooling have happened. Victories and frustrations. Our home has been a refuge for the hurting. A living room that has housed countless teens over the years in a weekly small group. God’s presence has been in this home in the form of his people. There are many memories. Trials we have walked through as a family and answers to prayer celebrated.
Today, I have gone through drawers. Three of us have lived here seven years. One has lived here almost 4 and the other almost 2. We each have to process this journey. For each of us it is a different journey.
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