Life...

So we have finished Christmas, grandparent visits and now are back to real life.  We have buckled down and are working hard on school.  Josh has such a light load, but his Math is so challenging.  Tori is chugging along her first year of high school and Erika is a few weeks into third grade.  I am so thankful that she is finally facing a challenge...yet, she is up for the challenge.  I love seeing her bloom and "get" new things.  She is learning Cursive.  It seems we are still getting down printing, but she is doing great.  Math is much more intense.  Literature, she has a literature book she is reading...and answers comprehension questions.  She is writing sentences.  I am amazed at this little seven year that is not little at all.

A while back, the girls and I were watching the Little House on the Prairie series on YouTube, until it was blocked.  That was a sad day around these parts.  Then I thought about getting the books and reading them.  I bought them used on Amazon and my mother in law brought them to us.  And then a teacher friend is letting us use an accompaniment book that goes through all nine books and gives you fun activities to do along the way.  If you  have a second-fourth grade (boy or girl), I highly recommend this to add some fun to your school day.  We read the book together.  Sometimes she just likes to listen to me read, cuddled up next to me.  We stop along the way and talk about things.  I love it.  And since we used to watch the show, she has some understanding of what hollywood portrayed.  It just has been a nice thing to add to our school day.  And she is learning so much.  The books are rich in history, vocabulary, and are just fun.

And then there are these pictures that Lee took last Sunday.  It was a fun, little, unplanned photoshoot, and the pictures actually turned out great.  Kailey spends the weekends and holidays with us.  We love having her and are excited to see what God is doing.  My poor boy is outnumbered, but he is an awesome big brother to all these girls.

And just an update.  The months of November and December were very difficult on us.  We are seeing the Lord clear up some of the trials.  Yes, we are stronger.  We know we tread on the enemy's territory.  We know our God is bigger.

Buying Clothes Once a Year

We are a little less than four months away from our annual trip home.  And you would not believe the planning that goes into a trip like that.  Especially this year, as I will be staying longer to get Josh settled.

But, we buy all (or most) of our clothes in the States.  Sometimes I will buy online and have a friend bring some or for our birthdays this year, my sister in law let us buy online (from her) and shipped them to us.  That was super fun.  But when there is no where to buy clothes where you live, sometimes you just really want to shop...and really just want something new.  I did not realize how much I love shopping for deals...until I could no longer go.  And now when we are in the states, we are so busy that sometimes it is hard to find the time.  But we always have a blast.  Even going to resale shops and finding deals there.

Erika has grown like crazy this year.  Every year.  Every time I do laundry, there is something I have to sneak out, because it is too small.  Her little legs have gotten so long that most of her shorts are just too short...but still fit her around the waist...so she wants to keep them.   Her t-shirts are getting tighter and tighter.  Thankfully, I usually buy some things for her to grow into.  But it is a hard thing to figure out what all she needs at the time and what for her to grow into.  Many of her shoes are too small...  I just keep thinking...just a few more months.  And then it will be fun getting her new things...that aren't stained or too short or too tight:)

Only buying clothes once a year definitely makes us try to save some good things...and take care of the other things.  I think it is harder on us girls than the guys.  But I know they like getting new things too.  This will be our third time to the states and I definitely feel like we know now what we truly need here.  Soon I will begin going through my clothes, and Erika's and making a very precise list of all I need to replace.  It is a big job because there are many things we get when we go home.  Books, school supplies, medicines, toiletries, just so many things that are too expensive or hard to find here.  Not to mention the to-do list for doctors and other appointments while we are there:)

Anyway, just folded up and tucked away a favorite little shirt...that has just gotten too small.  Oh...so sad when they grow up, but looking forward to shopping for a bigger girl wardrobe soon:) 

This Parenting Thing is Hard

Eighteen years ago, I was pregnant with my first child.  Even though he would be born in two months, I still did not know if he was a boy or girl.  I had so many dreams of what it would be like to have a baby.  My own baby.  I had babysat so many children over the years.  I had so much experience with OTHER people's kids.  Now, it was my turn and I was sure that I would be the perfect parent.

Now, I am at the end of "raising" this boy.  In just a few months, he will be totally on his own.

And it scares me so much.

I second guess if we have taught him everything he needs to know.  Everything he needs to be successful.  My worry level has gone so far up.

One of the biggest struggles is that these past four years when all his friends have been driving their own cars, getting their first jobs, going out all the time...Josh has lived a sort of protected life.  He has been homeschooled.  There has been no desire to get a job, where he would only make $20 US a day, if that.  And his experience driving is that around potholes and people on bikes.  Not the same experiences that his peers in the states are getting.

But he has had such crazy real life experiences here that his friends have not.  He has learned to go without so many things that his friends take for granted.  American snacks a must in every US home are merely a special treat here.  Our entertainment does not involve going to movies or other things his friends are doing.  But he has repelled down a 400 ft waterfall, learned that he loves riding horses, held snakes at the zoo, tubed in beautiful caves, ziplined in the jungle.   Yes, he has had so many experiences that are different.  He has helped his family plant a church...again.  He has learned so much about the third world...first hand.  He has helped build homes, had to learn creative ways to stay cool when it is 100 degrees inside the house, learned to be happy with a simple life.

So many of my friends in the states are going through their first baby leaving the nest.  And it is comforting, but still so different than what I feel I am going through.  If my baby needs me, I can't just jump in a car and get to him.  He will be one very expensive plane ticket away.  I won't see him on holidays and summers.  I will only see him when we come home each year...and if I can convince him to come here once a year:)  

I think a lot about this summer.  So much needs to happen.  He will need to get his license, then we will buy him his first car, get a job and he will begin life in a town that he does not know.  I will have to leave him with very little experience...

But I also know this.  God gave me this boy.  I prayed (desperately pleaded, cried, begged God) for this child.  And God has taken care of Him all these years.  Yes, he has used Lee and I.  But He has always been the one...the one who has been there when we were or were not with him.  And He will continue to watch out for my boy as he goes.

As I prepare his little graduation video...and see all these pictures...all these precious moments I have had with this amazing child all these years.  My cup has truly runneth over.  I have been blessed with the most amazing son.  No, he is not perfect.  Yes, he drives me crazy at times.  But he has always treated Lee and I with honor and respect.  And I know that even as he leaves for college...that is who he is deep inside.  I know he is a young man of integrity and strong morals...even when he is not with us.

My house will be quieter.  I will miss Josh every single day.  Because when you have someone in your home, care for them, feed them, talk to them, love them...you will definitely have a huge hole.

But I am also so excited for him.  Because he is so excited.  He can't wait for his next step in life.  He is excited about the college he is going to.  He is excited about living in the states again.  He is excited to have a job and live on his own (albeit a dorm).

And when you love someone, truly love someone...you are excited with them:)

As I have been looking for songs to play in the video of Josh growing up...I love the words in this song...

Because I have truly had it all...

"Life Is Beautiful"

Through the window
I see you waiting
You are smiling
Cause I'm coming
Your eyes are a story
An ocean of memories
Pictures of faces and places
And all of the things
That make us feel like we have it all

All of the times
That make us realize
We have it all
We have it all

Life is beautiful
Life is beautiful

Living and dying
Laughing or crying
If we have the whole world or have nothing
I know there are long nights
But we'll make it
With every sunrise comes a new light
And all of the things
That make us feel like we have it all

All of the times
That make us realize
We have it all
We have it all

Life is beautiful
Life is beautiful
Life is beautiful

A father's love
A wedding dance
New Year's dreams
A toast with friends
A soldier coming home from war
The faith the hope of so much more
A brand new life, a mother's prayer
Shooting stars, ocean air
A lover's kiss, and hard goodbyes
Fireworks, Christmas lights

These are things that make us feel alive
These are the times that make us realize

Life is beautiful
Life is beautiful
Life is beautiful

These are the times that make us realize

Gonna miss Josh so much...but my nest will be far from empty.  Elizabeth will be joining us, I have two beautiful daughters...and well, my home is always full....

This parenting things is SOOOO hard!!!

Visit from Family

The Holidays ended and then we got a visit from Lee's parents.  SO our Christmas was really extended this year.  What a joy to have family come and visit.  There is no price for your family.  Even if they hadn't come laden with gifts (you know how grandparents are...), the visit still would have been amazing.  Erika was ear to ear smile the whole time!!!

We got a COLD front while they were here.  It was amazing.  But since we have no heater, it was pretty cold.  And I had told them not to pack anything warm...since it normally is so hot here even in the winter.  Thankfully they came in warm clothes since it was cold in Texas:)

The kids and I took them to the zoo.  That was a lot of fun.  And then as a family, we went to the ruins in Cayo and horseback riding.  The week flew by so fast.  But it was just awesome, even if brief, to get to have family here.

  I opted out of the horseback ride this time...and apparently they went in some really deep water.  Fortunately it was just Josh and Howard and they took the others another way...Whew.  I would not have handled that well:)

Monday we said goodbye.  Goodbyes are always the hardest days for us.  But we have gotten busy switching into gear with many things we put off over the holidays.  One of those things is making preparations for Josh to go to college.  It has become so real now and there have been many tears shed this week.  Its gone by way too fast.  I always knew I would not be ready, but never could imagine how hard this actually would be to walk through.  But he is excited and I am proud of the young man he is...and know he is responsible and will do great:)

Christmas Break Fun

The day after Christmas, we decided to go to the city to bowl.  Unfortunately, even though we called twice to see if they were open, they were not:(  The restaurant we planned to go to was also not open:(  But we ended up eating at a real neat restaurant on the sea.  And it actually was still a super fun day for us.  We just really enjoyed all the kids that God has placed in our lives for right now.  And enjoyed just getting away.

And on those days that I feel a little overwhelmed...so much to do, the Lord gently reminds me that I always wanted a "full house"...and that is exactly what He has given me:)

Christmas time

If you got to be with your family for Christmas this year, please be thankful...for me.  This is our third Christmas with no family.  Yes, I have my husband and children...but I do so miss the larger family.  Thankfully, my in-laws are coming soon...and that is one of the best gifts for me...to know we will be with family soon.

But this Christmas, I have been continually reminded of God's hand being in the details.  We have five children in our home right now.  But there is always enough.  Its amazing to me, really.  How God has blessed us randomly with food or money for gifts or whatever we have needed.  He has truly taken care of the details.  We even had special candy from home...which the kids have gobbled up.  But how thankful I am as a mom that they have had such treats.

Christmas Eve service was really small this year.  The Mayans had a special dinner back in Maya Mopan and we realized how many of them we missed.  But it still was nice just to focus on Jesus in the midst of wrapping gifts and preparing food.  We came home and opened gifts and it was just a joy, as parents, to see the light in the youngest two's eyes.  The older two are waiting for their big gifts this summer:)  They still enjoyed many gifts as well, too:)

My home is so full right now.  Both girls are sharing their rooms, and so there is some chaos.  It seems that I am cooking, cleaning, or something all day long these days.  But also, there are more kids to help too.  And thankfully everyone knows how much I need help.  Yesterday, I decided we need to get this house in some order and everyone chipped in.  It is hard for me to relax if the house is too dirty...especially the living/kitchen area.  And so at night, we were able to just sit and enjoy a movie together.  Then, today after lunch, we enjoyed playing a game together.  I love having my home filled with joy and laughter...  The girls enjoy it so much.  It is like one big slumber party for them.  Josh is greatly outnumbered, but he enjoys the crazy chaos too, I think:)

We are also enjoying a little break from school.  The kids will need to work a few days before their grandparents come, then get another week off:)  We are looking forward to just visiting and enjoying them coming so much:)

We also have a team here right now.  They got here yesterday.  They are roofing a pretty large house back in Maya Mopan, a family that attends LifeNet.  Then will head to Cayo to help Pastor Caleb.  I am thankful for Jesse, being able to take a greater role in helping with the teams, so my husband is not so stretched.

New Year's Eve, we plan to have some of the young adults over, just to fellowship and play games.  Of course, there will be food prep for that too.  But it will be fun...  After all, although I enjoy times of just my family, it is also so fun to get a group together and just enjoy living life together:)

Giving Back

Right before Christmas, Tori and I joined the girls from the Children's Home to minister at the hospital.  It was such a special time for me, and I actually got teared up, as I saw the girls pray with young children and new mothers.  They baked goods to give to the doctors and nurses and blessed the children with goodie bags.  A while back, a team had brought small quilts that were homemade and the girls blessed all the new moms (and there were so many) with a blanket for their babies.  I love that the housemom teaches the girls that they are given things and that they can give back.  And of course, I love all these girls so much.  I love how they are growing in the Lord.  I love that Tori and I and our whole family gets to pour into them...and how they always end up blessing us so much more.

 All of the girls went somewhere for Christmas.  We were blessed to get one of these sweet girls, that the Lord has put on our heart, to spend Christmas with us.  We are only halfway through Christmas break, but I don't know how I will take her back.  She just fits in so perfectly in our home and we all have fallen in love with her.  I even got the joy of getting to get her ears pierced yesterday.  Something she has wanted so badly.  So, we just called this lady up and she came over.   And my crazy daughter, got a third ear piercing.  She promised it is the last...it better be:)