Reflections

we have had a very busy weekend...that really started on thursday with Josh turning 17...

with Josh getting older and realizing his time with us, under our roof, is growing short, it brings about times of thinking, reflecting.

one thought that has been on my heart a lot recently...preparation.

as i think back over my childhood, my teen years, my early marriage and my children being small, i feel that i am in this "older" season of life.  i feel that, just as people have poured into and taught me over the years, now, i am that person for so many.  including my children.

another thing that has been heavy on my heart, ever since going through the billy graham library back in february, is that God was always preparing me.  preparing me to be lee's wife, preparing me to be a pastor's wife to many (because even though we move on from churches, i still stay in touch with so many we have pastored over the years), God was preparing me to be josh, tori and erika's mom, to come on the mission field.   but i didn't know it then, when i was growing up.  God put me in a family who loved Jesus...who had me at church every time the doors were open, who taught me biblical principles along the way.  he put me in sunday school rooms and a youth group that built me spiritually.  so, that one day, i would be ready for what He put me here to do.  when i was a child, i never once thought i would marry a pastor.  i never even considered that i would live anywhere besides the states.  but i believe God knew.  of course,  i had to choose to be in His will, but He always had these plans for my life...

so, now, i am the one pouring into young girls.  i think about what i say to them.  i want my words to impact them, help them in their choices.  i want to be Jesus to them.  my own children, my heart, my loves--they know the best and worst of me.  i want them to remember the good more than the bad and for all the little decisions we have made in parenting them to affect them in such a way that it is preparation for what God has planned for their lives.  because we don't know.  we don't know what God will do, how He will use them...we want them prepared for anything.  even coming here to belize...was it preparation for one of them or all of their lives?  

only God knows the plans He has for my children, my grandchildren.

  i want to teach my children to most of all, know God and know His voice...because in this life, truly nothing else matters.