December

Did anyone else feel the pressure when they woke up and saw it was December 1st?  So many things to plan for this month and we have a birthday in there too.

I am in this place.  A place of contentment of living here in Belize.  I feel like I have found myself, figured things out and learned lessons I never could have learned except for coming to this place.

When we went to Mexico last week, it was so much like the states...but not.  We stayed in a place that was a wealthier city.  Clean, smooth roads, stores, familiar restaurants....AC!!!  Yet, as we crossed the border back in Belize, I felt anxious to get home.  Because we were foreigners in Mexico.  Yet, we are residents here.  And here is my familiar.  Even when I come to the states, I love it...every moment...but towards the end, I am just ready to come home, cook my own food, sleep in my own bed.

But in this place of feeling seasoned, I also have some new feelings...that another missionary shared with me yesterday, as well.    Probably feelings that the missionaries felt towards us when we first came.

We have worked so hard in the physical and spiritual realm to establish something.  It has cost us EVERYTHING.  We have walked through things here in Belize that noone could ever understand.  But now, it has gotten easier.  Life has gotten easier.  The church is strong and getting established.  But for those who come after, it is so much easier...or it seems that way to those of us who have been here for  awhile.  This is the third time we have pioneered a new work...and it takes so much, yet, is such a blessing to see it established.

My life has shifted more to my homefront.  The transition in our family is like nothing we have gone through.  Homeschooling three girls, keeping the house decent, cooking...always cooking something...keeps my days so incredibly busy.  So when we throw in birthday celebrations, throwing baby showers and visits from family, this month I feel I have barely kept my head above water.  Yet, I have.  Not everything gets done just as I would like...but it gets done.  Being relieved from leading Children's Church has been such a blessing.  But still there are pressures.  My ministry focus has just changed.   The girls from the children's home asked me when I would come next.  So I wake this morning asking God to give me grace.  Give me ideas of things to do with them....ways to minister to them.

I know my thoughts are all over today, but the other thing is that two of my friends, who used to live here, are visiting this week.  I miss them.  But not like I'm upset for them not being here anymore...but they each were a friend when I needed one...  And so I miss that.  But also, the Lord has drawn new friends into my life.  Women who have actually been here as long or longer than me...yet, slowly I find myself opening up myself and trusting them.  And it is so good for me.  I now attend a family NetGroup instead of the one that meets at my house on Thursdays.  Again, something I wish I would have done from the beginning, yet, everything in God's timing is best.  And the timing of now is Best....

And so these are the ramblings that go through this missionary/pastor's wife/homeschooling mom's mind...