The No-Good, Very Bad MIGRAINE

Yep...this is how I felt just a little while ago. I woke up fine this morning. Took Tori to camp...even stayed to watch my children's ministry team lead worship...they were awesome!!! Then I headed to vacuum out my car. I hadn't done that since being back from vacation. Went to fill up with gas since a hurricane is headed this way. AND THEN....my eyes got blurry...very blurry. I said No, please God, I don't want a MIGRAINE. I called Lee to pray as I drove home. It is very hard to drive when you cannot see. But God got Erika and I home. I told Josh and he was my hero. He just took over. He brought me a drink and an ice pak and I laid on the couch and then moved to the bed. I slept ALOT. He took care of Erika, which is no easy task. I was in such tremendous pain. Lee came home for a little while...and finally four hours later, after much prayer and some excederin, I am finally sitting up and seeing straight.

There are a few things I would like to say about my day:

Josh is a wonderful, responsible son...and I am so thankful that he was home to help me

I feel so bad for women who dont feel well a lot of the time

I felt so defenseless...nothing I could do but pray and sleep

my house is a wreck, but I'm not going to worry about it...going to just continue to lay low

that God hears our prayers....

that I am soooo thankful for my health

One other thing I want to share: Yesterday we found out that someone is going to give us a large offering towards our Belize Mission. We were told in the Training that God will surprise you who He uses. And I must say, He has. It isnt always who you would think. God is so GOOD and deserves the praise.

Okay, starting to not feel well...so goodbye...

Summer

Summer has been so busy thus far. Having three kids home and homeschooling, and swimming, and running to other activities has kept me on my toes.

The kids are having to make up some work before starting homeschool in the fall. It has been a hard thing for them, because they just want to enjoy their summer. The good thing, unlike other moms, I have not heard "I'm bored" at all so far.

We are swimming a LOT. It is good. It wears me out, but we all sleep good at night and it is a good energy releaser for them since the apartment is so small. And it is good motivation to finish their work so we can swim.

Tori is going to camp next week. She is so excited. She was not going to be able to go because her age group was going when we will be in Belize, but they changed it to this next week. I am very happy for her because the last few years it has just not worked out for her to go. It is actually a local camp where she just goes during the day...which is good for me. And her best friend will get to go too.

The other new thing is that Tori is going to start going to youth on Wednesday nights. One of the leaders invited her and our youth pastor said it was okay. I cannot believe how hard it was for me to leave her there. She is my baby...(well, actually, Erika is my baby, but still...) When I left, I was so sad...we always have girls night when Josh is at youth. But it is good. It will be amazing for her to get to experience a great youth group before we move.

I finally feel that we are getting in some sort of pattern. I am getting used to staying home. And it is for the most part, healthier, I think. I don't have money from a job, so we eat out far less now. And eating at home is just better.

Lee is busy fundraising. He meets with 2 or 3 churches every day. We have been blessed by the response of the pastors. It will be a busy summer, but it is so exciting to know you are in God's will.

We have a few trips this summer, so July will be a whirlwind. Both sides of our families are taking us on a trip this summer, and then we will go to Belize for a week on a mission trip. And Josh has Youth camp in the middle of all of that...


I LOVE SUMMER and yes, I do, have a great tan...

This Season of my Life

So, this is where we spend time every other day right now. It is a blessing that there is somewhere free to go that is fun so the kids can stretch a little after the small apartment. Erika's expression says it all...this is truly her favorite place right now. I am enjoying it too. I just swim the whole time unless the pool is full. We have been fortunate to have it to ourselves on several occassions...that is a good day when noone else is there:)

This morning, I took the kids to the dollar movie they offer in the summers here at our theatres. It was fun and cheap. Then we had our youth pastor's oldest daughter come over. I love that little girl. I just found a picture of her as a baby when we first met them 5 years ago. Those girls are so special to my heart. It is so hard to leave them to go to Belize. Maybe I could sneak them in my suitcase:)

So, this is the season I am in my life. Every day I prepare my heart a little for the big move. Lee calls me every day with good news that people are willing to partner with us and support us. This confirms every day that God is in this. I am excited about going to Belize. I am loving my new life already. It is the leaving part that tears my heart in a million pieces. Every person I spend my days with..( except my husband and children)...knowing that I must soak up every second while we are here.

There is a relevant song by Hillsong United, Desert Song:

One verse in particular really speaks to me...

and this is my prayer in the harvest

and favor and providence flow

I know I'm filled to be emptied again

the seed I received I will sow

God has blessed me, poured into me, taught me so many things. There are plenty of people here to share with the lost...He needs Lee and I in Belize, where fewer people will go. Where we can share of God's blessings and minister to the hurting. When Lee first told me he felt we were supposed to move to Belize, that was my argument...that there are so many more people here in Houston, who we can minister to. But God wants us in Belize. He has called lots of people to the mission field, but so many are just not able or not willing to take the steps to GO...but He knew we would. Not because we are closer to God, or better than other people. He had just put us in a place and made it hard not to obey. He did something supernatural in our hearts that made the people in Belize more important than our nice home or nice things...or our comfort.

I was just thinking today, what a process this past year has been for me...and the process I am still in. I pray that my life would be an example. And if God called you too, that you would also obey. I look around me and think Americans are so blessed. They don't even realize it. I realize it more now that I ever have. Even though my kitchen is 1/10 of the size of my old one...at least I have one. At least I have food to cook for my children. I am so thankful that we are in a home with air conditioning. And that I have a car with air conditioning.

What are you thankful for?

ARGH!!!!

This morning has been so overwhelming for me. Beginning to work my way through the millions of boxes that line my living room walls. What to keep, what to take with us, what to store???? What to just donate to the youth garage sale so I can breathe??? There are some things that I just feel we should take to make our home feel like our home while in Belize. That is what is hard about living here...in holding...no decorations, no family pictures, no curtains, just lots of aqua blue plastic boxes, and a bunch of suitcases.

Last night as I went to bed, I had some good time with the Lord and felt so at peace, but woke up feeling so....chaotic. I am listening to Kim Walker and she just sang SURRENDER. I know the Lord wants me to surrender having everything my way, in my order. To fully surrender my life to who He wants to create me to be. And this is part of the process.

The other thing is that once again my 3 year old turned off the air. It is low, where she can reach. So, as I was rummaging through boxes, doing laundry, dishes, etc, I was sweating like crazy before I realized it. I think maybe God is trying to prepare me for Belize heat :) through my daughter.

I covet your prayers right now for clear thinking, organization, and just not worrying about it. I know there are so many things to do, but know it will get done. I think I just want to complete it all in one day and have to realize that it is a process. Just like we want the Lord to just miraculously fix things for us, but we have to walk things out one day at a time....

Blessed

Lee and I had debated back and forth on whether we should put Erika in preschool next year (at the church), but had agreed that it was not an option as our income would not afford it. I will begin homeschooling the kids this fall and had thought it would be good for her to go just to allow us to get in the swing of things before we moved. Plus she has done so well in the preschool the past two years.

Sunday, our preschool director asked if I was going to enroll her and I said "no". She said someone had offered to pay for Erika to attend. I was shocked. I don't know if you read my blog...but I am so blessed. Lee was so thankful as well.

I am excited to be home full time now, but with homeschooling for the first time and preparing for an out of the country move, my plate is full, just in a new way. So knowing now that I will get two days a week to purely focus on Josh and Tori, it is a tremendous blessing.

God is already showing us in so many little ways, that He knows our needs and desires and takes care of the details. It is very different for Lee and I to be in the FUNDRAISING mode. It is new and a little frightening. It is a totally different walk of faith for us. We cannot "earn our keep" as we have done in the past, but have to totally rely on the Lord to provide. We, of course, have always relied on Him as we have pastored churches over the years, but this is new and more extreme. But God has called us and we just have to believe that He will get us to Belize because He is the one who told us to go.

When we were at Convention a couple of weeks ago, Frances Chan spoke. This was very special to Lee and I because the week after we told Life Church we were called to the mission field, Frances and his wife also made the same announcement. As we watched it, he expressed so beautifully what we were feeling. At convention, he said so many things that just spoke directly to me, what I am experiencing right now. The most awesome thing he shared was that it is in crisis, or removing yourself from safety, that you are the closest and most dependent on God. That is so true. As Lee and I step out in total faith to what God has called us to do, I feel Him more, I seek Him more...This last year has been amazing as He has pushed me out of my comfort zone big time. But I wouldn't change it. There are so many things that are uncertain about the future, but one thing I know, God goes with me. When I am in Belize and come across a situation that I feel unprepared for, He will help me, He will guide me, and will give me the strength to walk it out.

Seizing the Moments

I am at a very different place in my life right now. I, for so many years, have lived in a rush. I find that I am changing right now. I am enjoying the moments.

Today, we went and visited a friend, who also blessed Tori with some amazing hand me downs. It was so relaxing just to sit and catch up with her and share the things the Lord has been doing in our lives. Then we ran a few other errands, came home and spent the afternoon swimming in the "fun" pool. I had such a great time just hanging out and laughing with Josh, while Tori played with her friend...and Erika did her own thing. I have laughed more in the past month, than I can remember in forever. Laughter is such awesome medicine for your soul.

We were not able to swim much on our trip just because we were too busy, but since we have been home, we have been swimming a lot. I want to enjoy this time. I don't know that we will have public pools in Belize... although I have an idea of creating one and using it as an outreach:) But anyway, I just want to enjoy the pools while we have them. And enjoy my kids while I still have them too....Hey, and I will have an amazing tan by the end of the summer:)

Another seizing the moment: I was able to pray with someone dear to me yesterday to receive Christ as her Savoir. I cannot explain how awesome that was. I was shaking as I walked back to my seat. I am so excited to now get the blessing of discipling her and connecting her to a cell group in the church. God is awesome and knew that this is perfect timing in my life...and hers.

And my first picture on here is my dear friend, Riqui. We spontaneously decided to stop and see her family on our way home. Riqui and have been friends since we were both just having our first babies. She is a friend that listens and encourages me every time I call. And what is so awesome is that our daughters also have a very special friendship. And that encourages me because we have not always lived in the same city as this family, yet God has sustained our friendship. We are always there for each other, even though we are miles away. So, as it is bittersweet each moment I have with my amazing friends here in Katy, I know the Lord will sustain what He has started even when we move to Belize....

Road Trip

I am so tired tonight, after riding in a car for 3 days, but wanted to begin to share about our roadtrip. I will share more details over the week to come.

First of all, we did a LOT in 13 days. We went from Atlanta, Georgia(for Foursquare Convention), to Pennsylvania (to see the Amish), up to New York state for a few days, then to Niagara Falls, Canada, coming back down to Ohio (where Josh was born and the first church we pastored), visited friends in Kentucky, then finally worked our way back home today.

It was a busy two weeks, we stayed at many different places, and I am exhausted...but so thankful for this wonderful trip.

What happened in a nutshell...

God spoke through many different people at convention...once again confirming His plans for our life...

I was overwhelmed with love by my family...and for my family

once again, I was reminded how much I love my kids and husband...it was a crazy trip with everyone in close quarters, but sp many wonderful memories were created on this trip

I laughed...alot...and it was great for my soul

I cried when I said goodbye to my Grandma...not knowing if I will ever see her again

I actually got so sick of eating out that I cant wait to cook tomorrow ( don't tell Lee)

I realized that even when you havent seen special friends and relatives for years, it is still easy to catch up where you left off

and

that although not settled yet, there is NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!!!