I have a 20 year old

The years have flown by fast.  It is honestly so hard to believe we have a 20 year old.  I look at pics of Lee and I, and realize, yes, we are getting older.  But still feel young inside:)

I remember all I ever wanted to do was to be a mom.  Sometimes I get tired and want a break, but my children are a blessing.  I miss Josh today.  Wish I could make him a cake.  But I sent him gifts instead.  I am thankful for the internet.  I will see him soon and I'm thankful he will be with family for his birthday this weekend.

Josh, if you ever read this blog...I am so proud of you.  You have brought joy into my life from the day I found out I was pregnant.  You make me laugh like no one else.  But you have always treated me good.  It meant so much for you to help me fly home in December.  It was a role reversal because I really needed you.  I appreciate how you love your sisters.  That you call on their birthdays.  It is the highlight for them that you remember.  You are a blessing to all who know you.  You are a good friend.  Hard worker.

Praying your birthday is special in little ways.

Love,

Mom

Holidays away from Home

One of the hardest parts of being on the mission field is being away from family on the holidays.  I don't think I'll ever get used to it.  But also, seeing everyone else with their families...and people in your church are all getting together with their families...or that is just how it feels.

But then, you pull yourself together...and thank the Lord that you have children and a husband, and try to make it special with just you:)  This year, we last minute invited a girl and her baby that I minister to.  And it was great.  There were lots of selfies, lots of joy being with our church family, and we enjoyed a yummy lunch.  I even learned how to make rolls from scratch.  This was such an accomplishment for me and everyone enjoyed.

Baby girl slept all through lunch and for two hours more.  Her mom said our house is cooler...and it was hot yesterday.  Easter service probably wore her out.  And it was nice for me to see her mom be able to relax a little.    She works hard almost every day and was so excited to get Easter day off.  We just had missionary friends come and give her so many clothes...including this precious dress.

This year, all the girls decided to wear dresses.  Everyone looked so beautiful.  My heart is always a little sad not to have Josh here, but I know he is in a good place.

These beautiful girls.  It is amazing how much they even are starting to look alike.  They are each so different, yet when it comes down to it, I love to see them love each other.  I look forward to our time in the states and just getting to hang out with them.

Overall, Easter was great.  I have a lot of feelings right now, sending Tori to Turkey.  I just want to enjoy every moment until she leaves.  And then cover her in prayer the whole time she is there.  It is the scariest thing I have done so far as a mother.  Even now, she is in the room, making preparations, packing.  I know she will do great.  It will be life changing for her.  I'm proud of her boldness and bravery.  But she is still my baby girl.  This is her and I Thursday night before Net.  She is a beautiful girl.  Inside and Out.

Who are you pouring into?

I have two different women that I am pouring into on a regular basis right now.  They are alike in some ways, but very different as well.  In both of these women, I see Jesus changing them...bringing joy into their lives...giving them purpose.  Both of these women have a baby girl...exactly one month apart.  Both of these women are hispanic and speak both Spanish and English.  Both of these women desperately needed a Savoir and are running after Him with hunger.

That is where the similarities end.  One of these women is educated, the other is not.  One is older, maturer, with her first child.  One of these women has finances, the other does not.  Their worlds are very different.  My ministry to them is the same though.  I love them both deeply.  I am blessed when those baby girls light up when they see me.  Because their moms are loved by me, those babies feel it.  Their mamas are growing in the Lord...creating a better future for these little ones.

It is worth it.  It is always worth it when you invest in a life.  I am not talking about financially.  I am talking about your time.  I am busy.  I do not need to do this.  But meeting with these women.  Praying with them.  Encouraging them.  Helping them in this walk of life.   It's worth it.  I remember having a baby.  I remember the joy mixed with exhaustion.  I was blessed because I had a good husband, but yet there were still struggles.  I needed encouragement too.  I believe that my investment in these ladies will have eternal impact...that will go to the next generation.  Break cycles in their lives that they will not pass down.  

Both of these women recently attended our Life Advance.  Jesus met with these women.  He showed up.  I am just the vessel He uses to the do the work in them.  I am just the hug and attention from Jesus that he sends.  I am thankful that He trusts me.  I am expectant to see how God will use these women to impact the world around them.  They are both surrounded by unbelievers.  One of them told me the saddest thing at the Life Advance for her was when she had to list the Believers in her family.  Only her husband and one aunt.  I told her What an Oppurtunity.  She is surrounded by the Harvest.

We covet your prayers.  As the Lord is still working mightily, spiritual attacks are real.  Remember us in your prayer time.  I strongly believe in the power of prayer and we feel your prayers.

I have another young lady that I am pouring into.  She is my daughter.  God rescued her from a life that was not safe or healthy.  He is restoring and has restored her.  She is truly not the same person she used to be because of Jesus and the love of a healthy family.  Please pray for our adoption process.  We have hit roadblocks, yet know God is in this.  Adoption is powerful.  We do not want to just "raise" this girl.  We want her to be a Brockinton.  So please pray for us, cover this process.  We need favor, exceptions to the rules.  And we know the Lord walks before us.

Faith

This morning, my devotional (Beth Moore) spoke about the faith of our spiritual fathers in Hebrews 11.   Her question was...does your life, your walk by faith, draw others to want to know this Jesus you serve?    My answer...I hope so!

In one month, Tori will head to Turkey.   Because Jesus told her to.   And she's usually pretty right on to what Jesus tells her.   We have two younger sisters in this home that Jesus spoke to and through Tori about.   People tell me...it's so dangerous.   Aren't you worried?   Honestly, there are those voices.   But Gods voice is louder.  His voice tells me to trust what He is doing in my daughter.   I serve an amazing God who has done things in me.  Not always an easy process, but a beautiful outcome.   I'm loving seeing what God is doing in Tori.   Things I cannot do.  Only Jesus.  

Last night, I did a couple of things out of my normal comfort zone.   I went to a launch for a newTV show that my friend is doing.  Then rushed back and led my Net group discussing the marriage sermon a couple weeks ago.   I wasn't nervous and felt like everything flowed and there was good discussion.  In the past, these things would have been trying for me.   I told Lee I can see how much more confident I have grown but also just truly so much more reliance on the Holy Spirit.  

Two Sundays ago, I joined Lee, up front, to minister on marriage.  And again, I was pretty peaceful.   I was nervous standing in front of everyone, yet loved sharing practical things that we have learned in our 23 years of marriage.  Like, if I could save some of them some pain, I'm so happy to share from things we have walked through.  It was a joy to minister with my best friend.  But more than that, I had faith that the Lord wanted me to be obedient and trust Him.  

I think over the hard things I've walked through in this journey we call life.   And I see how the Lord has grown, built, strengthened my faith during the hardest of times.   So I just know like I know that He will continue to cover me...and my children.   Even if He calls them all the way across the world to love on some people who desperately need to know Him too!

"Now faith is the evidence of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."  Hebrews11:1

Five Years in Belize

This past week, we celebrated five years of living in Belize.   We have reminisced our first days here. Moving to an apartment, then our house.  Buying a car.  Everything was so new.  The Lord gave us so many divine appointments in those early days.  Many relationships that have grown over the past years.  The Lord sent us here with dreams and a vision.  We are still walking it out.  

We are in the process of applying for nationalization.  We have been busy with medical exams, getting background checks, you name it.   It's been busy but we think we have everything ready to turn in March 1st.  

Our kids have grown up so much since we moved here five years ago.   Lee and I have grown and changed too.  We have experienced things here we never had before.  We've learned that pastoring in another country is very different.  Culture affects so many things.   Gods Word is the same everywhere but there are definitely different ways of seeing things when you are ministering outside the Bile belt.  

In five years, I have learned how to cook, learned to appreciate saving electricity by hanging some things on the line, learned that it is actually possible to live without AC and learned to appreciate things I used to take for granted.  I have stepped out of my comfort box, allowed God to stretch me and use me in ways I never would have imagined.  

Five years is a big deal.  A large portion of our lives.   Wonder what He will do in the next five years?

Recovering and Jumping back into Life

Tomorrow marks ten weeks since my surgery.  I have more energy than I have had in a long time.  Hind sight, going to the states and taking care of my health was definitely the right decision.

The new year brings back our schedules, things we are involved in and some new things.

School is going great.  The girls are finished with their third 9 weeks this Friday.   Meaning they only have nine more weeks.  It is hard to believe.  Tori has only about 7 weeks left, as she prepares to go to Turkey for the month of April.  I am at peace about her going, yet, pray about it constantly.  God has truly provided the finances for the trip through our family and friends.  It is one confirmation that He is in this.  It is hard to believe next year is her last year of school here at home.  Get ready for some weepy blogs over the next year.

Two of the girls are in ballet and are doing a beautiful job.  This year, we will stay an extra week here in Belize so they can perform in their recital.  I am excited because I missed it at Christmas.  Tori is flourishing with her art lessons.  I am so proud of her talent.  And two of the girls are taking Spanish.  It is fun for them to get out of the house one morning a week and they have the sweetest teacher.  I am glad they have had some outlets, because it has been so long since we have gone swimming or anything like that.  The routine of school and their activities is nice, but we are also ready for a little break in May.

I brought back a Bible study on Mothering that I am teaching on Wednesdays at Hope for Life.  I have a small group, but they are each dear to my heart.  And so much more open than they were in the fall.  One of the moms is coming to church with me now and I'm so blessed to get to pray with and encourage her.  Her sweet little five month old fell asleep in my lap at church on Sunday.  I feel so blessed to get to be a part of seeing the Lord do new things in her life.  I have seen her go from dark, deep sadness, to lots of smiles.  Her whole countenance is changing...and it is changing her baby too.  One of the other moms, who is older, told me she takes home the notes and goes over them with her husband each week.  That was pretty cool to me.  And I was able to meet her older children last week.  I love their hunger to be Christian moms.

The Net that meets at our house has been booming with young people.  Every week, the living room seems so full.  Maybe around 40 kids.  Kailey, our daughter, is taking the LLT, which is 23 weeks long, and shared how much she loves it.  How much she is learning.  It blesses me that even though Lee and I are rotating around to other Nets, the leaders are still discipling strongly here, even with our own daughters.

Something new and different is that this Sunday, I will share with Lee, in our Sunday morning service.   I don't say "preach", because I will simply "speak".  At first, I was not wanting to do it, of course, but now I am kind of excited.  I feel like we have been married for 23 years, and we have some things we can share about a healthy marriage.  And not only that, just in the last few months, the Lord has given us such a new appreciation for each other.  So, if you think of us on Sunday, please pray for us as we minister to LifeNet together.  That we will be unified in our message and be an encouragement to the body.

Life is good.  I feel strong and healthy.  I am happy to be home with my sweet family.

Coming Home

I have been home for two weeks now.  It has gone by so fast.  It is amazing how coming home has been so good for my healing.  I rarely have any pain now and have so much energy.  I have to constantly remind myself that I still cannot lift anything or do anything too strenuous for a few more weeks.  I see all these cute babies at church that I have missed so much, but still can't hold them.

It has been nice to be home and be able to cook for my family again.  It is amazing what you miss.  Shopping takes so long here and I typically take one or all of the girls to carry things to the car, unload when I get home.  But I love all the fresh produce and cooking things from scratch.  What once was a challenge for me, I have grown to love.   The smell of garlic and onions simmering, fresh pico de gallo, Elizabeth's homemade flour tortillas.  Yum.

Today is our first day back to school.  I am so grateful to Elizabeth, Tricia and Lee for working with the girls while I was gone.  I was able to tally their grades and send in their tests from the first half of the school year.  And so today we are able to start fresh from where they left off before Christmas.

I have also so much enjoyed being back with my church family.  It is so different to go somewhere else where very few people know you, and then to come home where everyone knows you and missed you:)  It has been a nice reunion.  As I was watching the crew set up yesterday before church, I just sat thinking how much I love each of these people, couples, that the Lord has brought to LifeNet.  How many of them are now going through the School of Ministry...wanting to grow deeper in the things of the Lord.  So many of them who have been with us since the beginning five years ago.  It has been a joy to watch them grow spiritually, even during times of  testing.

Well, poor Lee is dealing with a clogged toilet, there is much laundry to do, cleaning up to be done as well...  Time to start our Monday.