So the last five days have been pretty busy for us. We had a goodbye lunch with the staff, goodbyes at youth, goodbyes all around. Phew... Then moved to Highlands. It is good to be with my in-laws. It is very calm out here. It is hard to explain. They actually live close to a good size suburb, but their house is so quiet. My kids are playing outside right now. That is so good for them. They just didn't do that in Katy.
We had Tori's BFF here for a few days. She came the day we moved here...our car was so full. But we are so glad we brought her. We took her home this morning, when I went for a follow-up with my Dr. I really feel my Dr. is an answer to prayer. She is wonderful. She said my bloodwork looks good, and I am on my way. I will be stopping one of the meds today. I will see her one more time before we move, then will need to find a Dr. in Belize.
Tomorrow, Lee and I are heading to Galveston for a little getaway, just the two of us. I have to do a lot to get ready, but am looking forward to it. It may be a while before we leave our kids again. It will take a while to build up trust with people...enough to leave our children.
The house we wanted in Belmopan appears to be occupied. I am surprised that I am not that dissapointed. I know it is God's peace, that He has something better for us. I am really ready for this next step. It is hard to understand, but I am truly peaceful and feel that it is time for us to move. There are so many details over the next few weeks. It makes it hard to focus on Christmas. But this is part of the process.
It is a little surreal that we are leaving America in 6 weeks. Like, I know it, but it doesn't seem real. I am getting adjusted to our temporary life, constant moving, but long for the time, that I can settle into a home. It is the nester in me.
Living at my in-laws house is incredibly peaceful. Two big reasons are that we do not have a TV in our room, and there is no wi-fi. So I have to use my mother-in-law's computer and it is too much hassle to check facebook and my email all the time. But although I miss those things, it is so peaceful not to have them.
So my blog may not be updated quite as regularly, and there may not be as many pics. But this is just how it will probably be when we first move, as well. And it is good. God works things together for good for those who love Him.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Four Years Ago Today
Four years ago today, someone very special was born...
and the world is better for it.
Four years ago today, I was praying for you...
even though I did not know you.
Four years ago today, you were a miracle in so many ways...
even those around you must have felt it.
Four years ago today, a prayer was beginning to be answered...
but we did not know it yet.
Four years ago today, a beautiful girl, with a headfull of dark brown hair, and beautiful tan skin, and intriquing hazel eyes, entered this world.
God already had a plan for this precious girl.
God already had put her in the heart of a momma...and the rest of her family.
Four years ago today, I did not know you yet. I wish I had been there. But we can't go back. And besides, God took care of you better than I could have. He put you in a home of people who cared for you and loved you until I could get to you.
My sweet Erika. It is a joy to celebrate your birth today. I am soooo glad you were born. I am so glad that every day you make me smile laugh. You challenge me in ways I never could have known, but you are worth it. You are smarter than any girl I know. God gave you an amazing brain. Always use it. It will get you far. You are a fighter. That is why you are here. You fought for life...and you won. You are beautiful. People everywhere notice. I thank your birthparents for that. And that they chose life for you, even though they couldn't keep you. God, please bless them for that.
I am thankful, Erika, that you fulfill my dream of three children. Not just the number, but the chaos, and closeness, and busyness that goes with that. I don't mind the extra laundry, or extra scoop of rice, or one more person to buy gifts for...I love those things. I love what you add to this family. I love that your sister prayed just as much for us to get you as I did. I love that you stole your big brother's heart the first time he met you. I love that you are my constant company, even when the big kids are gone. I love the way your daddy is so proud of you, that he wants everyone to also see how special you are.
Erika, I pray that this fourth birthday is so special for you. You were born at a busy time of year, but I never want it to be too busy for you to be celebrated.
And let me end with one last story...
A couple of weeks ago, I had a conversation with this girl...
Me: Erika, do you know why we celebrate Christmas?
Erika: Well, we like to see the lights, open presents, be with our family.
Me: Erika, all those things are nice, but do you know the meaning, why we do those things? What special baby was born at Christmas?
Erika: Oh, I know....ME:)
And of course, I explained we don't celebrate it for her, even though she is so special, but for Jesus.
Happy 4th Birthday, Princess Erika
Monday, December 13, 2010
Going Back...
Nine years ago, we had just started Life Church. Today, Lee sold his car. I kind of feel like we are right where we were 9 years ago. It seems like forever ago, yet just like yesterday.
Nine years ago this past summer, we resigned from a church we had planted in Dallas...
Nine months ago, we resigned from a church we planted here in Katy...
Nine years ago, we stood on the brink of the unknown, a new work, that we felt very strongly that the Lord had told us to do. Yet, we were still at a point of faith...believing for the unseen.
Today, we once again stand on the brink of the unknown again. Yet, we believe, by faith, that we are doing exactly what God has told us to do.
Nine years ago, we lived with Lee's parents, then brother, as we were in a time of starting a new church, and looking for a new home.
Today, we live with Lee's brother and are in the process of heading to live with Lee's parents, as we strip ourselves of most of our material possessions, and prepare to go and start a new church in Belize.
Nine years ago, we had one car...and I prayed for a second. Our first ten years of marriage, we shared a car, and amazingly it worked. But then eventually got to a place where it just wasn't working anymore.
Today, we are back down to one car. It would not have worked even a month ago...probably. But now, it will. We will make it work. And will spend more time and more communication together because of it. And this is how it will be in Belize, as well. But God has put me in a place where I am home, my kids are home, and it will be okay.
So, today, I feel like we are going back, as we press forward.
Nine years ago this past summer, we resigned from a church we had planted in Dallas...
Nine months ago, we resigned from a church we planted here in Katy...
Nine years ago, we stood on the brink of the unknown, a new work, that we felt very strongly that the Lord had told us to do. Yet, we were still at a point of faith...believing for the unseen.
Today, we once again stand on the brink of the unknown again. Yet, we believe, by faith, that we are doing exactly what God has told us to do.
Nine years ago, we lived with Lee's parents, then brother, as we were in a time of starting a new church, and looking for a new home.
Today, we live with Lee's brother and are in the process of heading to live with Lee's parents, as we strip ourselves of most of our material possessions, and prepare to go and start a new church in Belize.
Nine years ago, we had one car...and I prayed for a second. Our first ten years of marriage, we shared a car, and amazingly it worked. But then eventually got to a place where it just wasn't working anymore.
Today, we are back down to one car. It would not have worked even a month ago...probably. But now, it will. We will make it work. And will spend more time and more communication together because of it. And this is how it will be in Belize, as well. But God has put me in a place where I am home, my kids are home, and it will be okay.
So, today, I feel like we are going back, as we press forward.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The Goodbyes have Begun
Tonight, I am truly writing this post for therapeutic purposes. We have begun the goodbyes. The crying has begun...and I'm not quite sure when it will stop.
I am trying to set aside some time with some people before we leave Katy this week. I will not fit everyone in, but just have to do what I can.
Yesterday I had a great tea with a great friend. Someone who has truly been there for me every time I needed to talk, cry, rejoice, whatever. We did not have long, but I savored every moment. Also, this week, I finished---well, you never finish--the discipling book with a friend. And, yes, I was a little sad. I have become even closer...even though I felt I knew her before...these last months.
And tonight, we went and spent the evening with our youth pastors. Our relationship is unique and runs deep. Let me tell you about how God fused our hearts together.
Over five years ago, we were searching for a youth pastor. We knew it was more than a staff position, that we needed to mesh. They would be our first full-time staff. We received their resume...and I was convinced...from their precious story, that they were the ones. Then we asked for a photo. Well, I hired them right then and there. Unfortunately, that was not my position:( So, the Council agreed to bring them. They would stay with us so we could get to know them. For me, I felt a deep love for this couple immediately. And their precious 9 month old daughter stole my heart. Our entire congregation loved them as well, and they were hired immediately.
I worked in the office two days a week, so have seen him as a little brother. And I offered to watch Joy during youth, so they could both be there. So, our Friday nights soon became Joy nights. My kids and I would look forward to her coming over. And she was that for me. Joy in my life. I would look forward to her coming, and hate her leaving. Can you believe I loved a baby so much who was not mine? It was the first time I realized God could do that through adoption. We became Joy's second home. If they needed time away, we would offer to watch her. When we were at church, I would always hold Joy. She loved me and I adored her. Then came Faith. I loved her as well. Courtney was a good friend, but has definitely become so much closer over the past couple of years. Then, when the Lord blessed us with Erika, she immediately became Faith's best friend.
There is more to this, though. While we were beginning the process of getting Erika, Courtney was losing her mother. I always feel bad that I was so consumed with my own life during that time. I remember when her mom came to Houston to receive care for her cancer, her last words to me were "Please take care of my girls." And with tear filled eyes, I promised I would. Then within just that year, her father began to go downhill and recently died as well. In fact the Sunday we told Life Church that we were going to Belize, she was gone to her dad's funeral. So, through this deep grief...and our leaving only adding to the grief, we have actually become so much closer.
There are so many things I could write, tell. But just this. This family is dear to my heart. In a way, I cannot even begin to explain.
So this evening was dedicated to them. To us having one more evening with them. We watched old videos that Courtney had found of her as a little girl. Then moved on to videos of her girls and my kids when they were littler. It was just too much. But now looking back, it was set up by Him.
As the evening...a great evening...was getting late, Lee wanted to pray over them. I lost it as he began to explain to Joy and Faith how special they were to all of us, but especially Robyn. I just lost it. I am crying as I write this. I feel that I am leaving my grandgirls. They are so precious to my heart. I cannot even say. I was able to pray over them, with weeping.
Leaving them is so hard. I know we will see them again. But it will never again be the same. It will never again be Joy begging when can she sleep over? Asking to come to my house...
But I am glad to cry. It is cleansing. It is part of this. We knew it was coming. It is now here. This week is intense. Leaving Katy. And in crying, one day, Joy will grow up and remember this. That there was a lady that thought she was the most special girl ever.
Thank you Adam and Courtney for letting your little girl bring me so much joy.
I am trying to set aside some time with some people before we leave Katy this week. I will not fit everyone in, but just have to do what I can.
Yesterday I had a great tea with a great friend. Someone who has truly been there for me every time I needed to talk, cry, rejoice, whatever. We did not have long, but I savored every moment. Also, this week, I finished---well, you never finish--the discipling book with a friend. And, yes, I was a little sad. I have become even closer...even though I felt I knew her before...these last months.
And tonight, we went and spent the evening with our youth pastors. Our relationship is unique and runs deep. Let me tell you about how God fused our hearts together.
Over five years ago, we were searching for a youth pastor. We knew it was more than a staff position, that we needed to mesh. They would be our first full-time staff. We received their resume...and I was convinced...from their precious story, that they were the ones. Then we asked for a photo. Well, I hired them right then and there. Unfortunately, that was not my position:( So, the Council agreed to bring them. They would stay with us so we could get to know them. For me, I felt a deep love for this couple immediately. And their precious 9 month old daughter stole my heart. Our entire congregation loved them as well, and they were hired immediately.
I worked in the office two days a week, so have seen him as a little brother. And I offered to watch Joy during youth, so they could both be there. So, our Friday nights soon became Joy nights. My kids and I would look forward to her coming over. And she was that for me. Joy in my life. I would look forward to her coming, and hate her leaving. Can you believe I loved a baby so much who was not mine? It was the first time I realized God could do that through adoption. We became Joy's second home. If they needed time away, we would offer to watch her. When we were at church, I would always hold Joy. She loved me and I adored her. Then came Faith. I loved her as well. Courtney was a good friend, but has definitely become so much closer over the past couple of years. Then, when the Lord blessed us with Erika, she immediately became Faith's best friend.
There is more to this, though. While we were beginning the process of getting Erika, Courtney was losing her mother. I always feel bad that I was so consumed with my own life during that time. I remember when her mom came to Houston to receive care for her cancer, her last words to me were "Please take care of my girls." And with tear filled eyes, I promised I would. Then within just that year, her father began to go downhill and recently died as well. In fact the Sunday we told Life Church that we were going to Belize, she was gone to her dad's funeral. So, through this deep grief...and our leaving only adding to the grief, we have actually become so much closer.
There are so many things I could write, tell. But just this. This family is dear to my heart. In a way, I cannot even begin to explain.
So this evening was dedicated to them. To us having one more evening with them. We watched old videos that Courtney had found of her as a little girl. Then moved on to videos of her girls and my kids when they were littler. It was just too much. But now looking back, it was set up by Him.
As the evening...a great evening...was getting late, Lee wanted to pray over them. I lost it as he began to explain to Joy and Faith how special they were to all of us, but especially Robyn. I just lost it. I am crying as I write this. I feel that I am leaving my grandgirls. They are so precious to my heart. I cannot even say. I was able to pray over them, with weeping.
Leaving them is so hard. I know we will see them again. But it will never again be the same. It will never again be Joy begging when can she sleep over? Asking to come to my house...
But I am glad to cry. It is cleansing. It is part of this. We knew it was coming. It is now here. This week is intense. Leaving Katy. And in crying, one day, Joy will grow up and remember this. That there was a lady that thought she was the most special girl ever.
Thank you Adam and Courtney for letting your little girl bring me so much joy.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Today
Today is my last kind of free day for a while. The next days after this are filled with many different things. So, I kind of feel pressure to get some things done. But there really is not anything...well, that I actually feel like doing. Why do I do that? Not resource my time better. I am either crazy with busyness...or doing nothing. There is no in between.
I wanted to share about Starbucks yesterday. I was blessed to get some gift cards, so am rationing them out. I have one more coffee left:) So, yesterday I needed to take Faith, my youth pastor's daughter with us to preschool...and had an 8:45 parent/teacher conference for Erika. The house was kind of LOUD that morning...so I drug myself out of bed and showered and got ready early (while my familia snoozed away). By the time Courtney dropped off Faith, I was pretty much ready. I did my last revisions for my Walmart list (I needed food majorly to prepare some dinners for both our families). Well, we were in the car and buckled by about 8:25...way too early to head to preschool. I, and the rest of Katy, decided this cold morning was a good time to run through the drive thru and get some peppermint mocha:) As I drove around the building, I saw our new pastor...yes, he definitely likes his Bux...and thought "Maybe I should go in" when I saw the line. But then I would have to take two hyper girlies in with me...and that would not be fun. So we waited in the very long line. As I was sitting there, I thought, wow, many of these people come every single day. They sit in their gas guzzling suburbans and pay way too much for a cup of Joe. For me, it is an occassional treat. Sure, I love the stuff...I think they put addicting things in it, so we will come back. But I know there are better ways for me to spend my money. So I feel a little guilty. But anyway. It just made me a little sad, thinking about Belize, the way that we, as Americans, throw our money away. When sometimes there are families that can't even feed their kids.
Well, I headed to the conference, and was late, because of the long drive-thru...and my not wanting to get out the line. But the conference was great. Erika is very bright and will definitely be prepared for Kindergarten next year. I will be sad that the preschool years are over. But it will be good for her to have her own homework when the kids are doing theirs.
The Coffee kept me going all day yesterday. I went and grocery shopped, made lunch, prepared dinner prep, vaccuumed most of this way too big house, cleaned the bathrooms upstairs (that are larger than most), did laundry, and made a huge dinner for both of our families. I was tired last night though. But unfortunately woke up early. I am making tacos for both of our families tonight.
Josh is heading to the youth leaders retreat. I am glad he gets to go. Something fun for him before we leave. Next Wednesday, we will have a special dinner with the staff before we leave...oh, so sad.
Well, we must work on school today. The kids are doing great. They are right on track. Soon, it will be halfway through the year, and we will mail in half of their tests. Accomplishment is a good thing. I really like this system of finishing a pace and throwing it away. I keep Josh's score keys for Tori, but I really like throwing stuff away....downsizing. It is like I'm addicted to it now!!! JK.
Have a great day, whatever you are doing.
I wanted to share about Starbucks yesterday. I was blessed to get some gift cards, so am rationing them out. I have one more coffee left:) So, yesterday I needed to take Faith, my youth pastor's daughter with us to preschool...and had an 8:45 parent/teacher conference for Erika. The house was kind of LOUD that morning...so I drug myself out of bed and showered and got ready early (while my familia snoozed away). By the time Courtney dropped off Faith, I was pretty much ready. I did my last revisions for my Walmart list (I needed food majorly to prepare some dinners for both our families). Well, we were in the car and buckled by about 8:25...way too early to head to preschool. I, and the rest of Katy, decided this cold morning was a good time to run through the drive thru and get some peppermint mocha:) As I drove around the building, I saw our new pastor...yes, he definitely likes his Bux...and thought "Maybe I should go in" when I saw the line. But then I would have to take two hyper girlies in with me...and that would not be fun. So we waited in the very long line. As I was sitting there, I thought, wow, many of these people come every single day. They sit in their gas guzzling suburbans and pay way too much for a cup of Joe. For me, it is an occassional treat. Sure, I love the stuff...I think they put addicting things in it, so we will come back. But I know there are better ways for me to spend my money. So I feel a little guilty. But anyway. It just made me a little sad, thinking about Belize, the way that we, as Americans, throw our money away. When sometimes there are families that can't even feed their kids.
Well, I headed to the conference, and was late, because of the long drive-thru...and my not wanting to get out the line. But the conference was great. Erika is very bright and will definitely be prepared for Kindergarten next year. I will be sad that the preschool years are over. But it will be good for her to have her own homework when the kids are doing theirs.
The Coffee kept me going all day yesterday. I went and grocery shopped, made lunch, prepared dinner prep, vaccuumed most of this way too big house, cleaned the bathrooms upstairs (that are larger than most), did laundry, and made a huge dinner for both of our families. I was tired last night though. But unfortunately woke up early. I am making tacos for both of our families tonight.
Josh is heading to the youth leaders retreat. I am glad he gets to go. Something fun for him before we leave. Next Wednesday, we will have a special dinner with the staff before we leave...oh, so sad.
Well, we must work on school today. The kids are doing great. They are right on track. Soon, it will be halfway through the year, and we will mail in half of their tests. Accomplishment is a good thing. I really like this system of finishing a pace and throwing it away. I keep Josh's score keys for Tori, but I really like throwing stuff away....downsizing. It is like I'm addicted to it now!!! JK.
Have a great day, whatever you are doing.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Getting Ready
A Beautiful Field Trip with my Parents and Girls
So, apparently Erika and Tori did not want to open their eyes in any of these photos:)
Last week, the girls and I went with my parents to tour Brookwood, a community not far from here that is home to adults with special needs. It was a beautiful day and a beautiful campus. I really enjoyed it. And we each got a souvenier ornament, personalized with the year and our names. It was so neat to see them working, living, enjoying life and they had the most amazing swimming pool. I think my girls wanted to jump in. Look at all the poinsettas they grow. And how tall the one by Erika is.
We are in our final days here in Katy. Just one week left. It is really too hard for me to put my mind around. The next week is very busy. Jampacked with good-byes, Christmas programs and parties, birthday stuff for my four year old. And then packing to move to Lee's parents' house. We knew this day would come. But it is still hard to take in. We will actually be back to Katy for several things like doctors appts, church itineraries, more last visits...but I don't know if we will ever live here again. Okay, now I am about to cry:(
I am ready for Belize. I am ready to settle into my own home. I am ready to figure out the details of living there. To get into a schedule. To begin making relationships with the people there. But until then, I am soaking up every last ounce of my life here. Every second with my friends. Those times are bittersweet. I see it in their eyes...the way they look at me. Every moment with them is tinged with sadness that we are leaving. Moving is really hard. I didn't want to do this again. But I don't want my emotions to stop me from what God wants. His ways are always better. And right now, I just have to hold on to that.
So, from here til next Saturday, we are pretty busy. Busy with good things. We just wrote our Christmas letter...so soon, we will send those off. I have pretty much finished my shopping. Now just to savor....just to be. Just to enjoy the amazing people God has in my life.
Night.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Do you have FURIOUS LOVE for those who don't know Jesus?
The youth were watching Furious Love last night. I have heard about it, but wanted to see what was so amazing in it. I literally had to hold back tears throughout the movie. I am very aware of the spiritual war we are in, but was so moved by the movie. What God is doing in the spiritual realm with Lee and I and our kids...moving us to Belize. And it excited me that He chose us. That He trusts us. But made me sad. All He has used us for here in Katy. And just a gentle reminder of the spiritual battle that is going on over me every day. But one thing that really stuck out to me, was that, we are intimidated by demon-possesed people, or people who need healing. Well, the pressure is off. It is up to God. It is He who does it. And it is easy for Him. He pursues people...and we just have to be willing to be used to help those people in God's perfect timing. This is not a casual family friendly movie. But I challenge you to watch it. To widen your perspective. To see the bigger world out there. It was a blessing to me. And compelled me to LOVE, LOVE people to Christ. That is what they need. God will clean them up. But we need to truly be vessels of love. After all that Love is what caused God to sacrifice His SON and I think sometimes we need to be reminded of that.
We are off for family Photos this afternoon. Hoping its a good hair day:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)