December

Did anyone else feel the pressure when they woke up and saw it was December 1st?  So many things to plan for this month and we have a birthday in there too.

I am in this place.  A place of contentment of living here in Belize.  I feel like I have found myself, figured things out and learned lessons I never could have learned except for coming to this place.

When we went to Mexico last week, it was so much like the states...but not.  We stayed in a place that was a wealthier city.  Clean, smooth roads, stores, familiar restaurants....AC!!!  Yet, as we crossed the border back in Belize, I felt anxious to get home.  Because we were foreigners in Mexico.  Yet, we are residents here.  And here is my familiar.  Even when I come to the states, I love it...every moment...but towards the end, I am just ready to come home, cook my own food, sleep in my own bed.

But in this place of feeling seasoned, I also have some new feelings...that another missionary shared with me yesterday, as well.    Probably feelings that the missionaries felt towards us when we first came.

We have worked so hard in the physical and spiritual realm to establish something.  It has cost us EVERYTHING.  We have walked through things here in Belize that noone could ever understand.  But now, it has gotten easier.  Life has gotten easier.  The church is strong and getting established.  But for those who come after, it is so much easier...or it seems that way to those of us who have been here for  awhile.  This is the third time we have pioneered a new work...and it takes so much, yet, is such a blessing to see it established.

My life has shifted more to my homefront.  The transition in our family is like nothing we have gone through.  Homeschooling three girls, keeping the house decent, cooking...always cooking something...keeps my days so incredibly busy.  So when we throw in birthday celebrations, throwing baby showers and visits from family, this month I feel I have barely kept my head above water.  Yet, I have.  Not everything gets done just as I would like...but it gets done.  Being relieved from leading Children's Church has been such a blessing.  But still there are pressures.  My ministry focus has just changed.   The girls from the children's home asked me when I would come next.  So I wake this morning asking God to give me grace.  Give me ideas of things to do with them....ways to minister to them.

I know my thoughts are all over today, but the other thing is that two of my friends, who used to live here, are visiting this week.  I miss them.  But not like I'm upset for them not being here anymore...but they each were a friend when I needed one...  And so I miss that.  But also, the Lord has drawn new friends into my life.  Women who have actually been here as long or longer than me...yet, slowly I find myself opening up myself and trusting them.  And it is so good for me.  I now attend a family NetGroup instead of the one that meets at my house on Thursdays.  Again, something I wish I would have done from the beginning, yet, everything in God's timing is best.  And the timing of now is Best....

And so these are the ramblings that go through this missionary/pastor's wife/homeschooling mom's mind...

Tori's Sixteenth Bday Trip

In the midst of all the changes we have gone through in the past year, we decided for Tori's Bday to take a little trip across the border...of Mexico.  We don't get too many getaways like this so it was an incredible blessing.  A taste of the states, but with most people only speaking Spanish.  We learned a lot on this first trip there, but it was awesome.  Now to real life and prepping for the holidays.

I made a little video for us to remember the trip by.  By the way, it was the first time Kailey ever left Belize, so many things were new to her:)

Tori and Kailey got money for their birthdays in October and November to spend on this trip, so staying by the mall was a great choice.

Here is the video I made:

Let me know if you can watch it...I think it is blocked here in Belize:)

My Sweet Sixteen year old

 Victoria Joy.   Wow.  It has gone way too fast.  I still remember the excitement I felt when I found out you were a girl.  I remember when you were born, you were feminine in every way, right from the start.  I loved dressing you up in pretty dresses until you decided you didn't want to do that anymore.  I have loved every moment, every age with you.  You are an absolute joy to my heart and my life.

It is amazing to me what a perfect mix of Daddy and I that you are.  You have so many of his personality traits, yet you seem to be my twin as well...

You are truly a beautiful girl...inside and out...

Your big brother was your first and best friend.  I know it has been hard having him gone to college.  And you became the oldest.  I am so thankful for the love you two have always had for each other.

You are the girl with the biggest heart of anyone I know.  I love the way that you have opened your heart to two little sisters.  You have such an opportunity to pour into these girls as they look up to you so much...

You are oh so serious, but give you some coffee and let it be late at night, and your crazy side comes out.  I am thankful for all of your sides...

Each year you get a little older.  A little closer to going to college, getting married and being a mother yourself.  All of these things I know you will do so well.  But I will miss you.  So I want to savor these moments I have before you start a life on your own.

I love our early morning walks, although I know I don't take enough of them.  I love our friendship.  I always prayed my daughter would also be my friend.  I love your beautiful blue eyes...more so when they are smiling.

Life can be hard.  It will beat you up.  Especially when you serve the Lord.  But our Hope is in Him.  He wants to pour out blessings on us.  So, stay close to Him.  Know that He knows every thing you go through and is there.  And let the things of this life that are hard, difficult...let them build you.  Let them teach you to lean on Jesus.  He is the only constant you will ever have.

And remember, too, that your Dad and I love you SOOO much.  We are always here for you.  We want only good things for you.  And we are so blessed to have you as our daughter.

Happy Sweet Sixteen to our amazing Tori:)

Quiet

This morning I have a rare moment of quiet.  All I hear is the fan blowing and dog barking.  It is beautiful. And rare.

Everyone is out doing a VBS in the neighborhood, but it may be rained out.  And I have a lunch date with a friend, so stayed home to get ready...and get their lunch going, of course:)

Life is crazy busy.  Last weekend, Elizabeth and I went to LifeNet's first women's conference.  I was a speaker and that was way out of my comfort zone.  I found it challenging to even find quiet moments to prepare.  But once I got up there, I truly felt confidence in what I had prepared...absolutely the Lord carried me:)

My life is full with homeschooling...probably more this year than ever.  Kailey's first language is Spanish and although her English is very good, it makes school from the states quite challenging at times.  Erika began 4th grade this week.  Finally, we seem to have found her challenge.  The tail end of 3rd grade was slowing her down a little.  Friday was the first day that she actually was still working on school after lunch.  Tori is busy as she is in her second year of high school, but is doing great.  I am so proud of all my girls.  They work hard (most days) and I love the flexibility that homeschooling allows our family.

We still have much ministry in the children's home.  I go every other Saturday, but there are times in between as well, when the housemom will call and ask for Lee or I to meet with a specific girl.  I have such love for these girls.  

Elizabeth has been a blessing in so many ways.  She totally has taken over children's ministry, which helps me so much.  She works hard all day for LifeNet, and then helps around the house too.  She is a blessing in our home in so many ways.  She brings a new life and joy to everyone she meets.

I had another birthday this week.  The girls bought me gifts (with Lee's money:), and made me some too.  I think the homemade ones were the most special because it shows how well they know me.  I was surprised with yummy brownies and didn't have to cook all day.  I have such a great family.  Erika and I even snuck away on a little date in the afternoon because I had some free time.  We have begun rotating taking dates with Erika, Kailey and Tori.  It has been a good decision, as they love the one on one time, and we love it too.

Recently, Erika and I began attending a family Net on Thursday nights.   For many different reasons, but mainly because my life is so full of pouring out into young people, I felt that I needed some pouring into me, as well.  And Erika needs to be around some kids her age.  I also feel the Lord is using me even in this Net, challenging me in new and different ways.  It does feel strange to get ready and leave as my home is filling with young people, but I found that we were in a season of lots of leadership and felt I was not needed as much here anymore.  I love how God allows us to go through seasons of change and grows us during those times.  Erika loves the Net because her BFF is there and now they get to see each other more.

Josh still continues to do well at school.  It is always such a joy to hear his voice.  I now wish I would have called my parents more when I was younger.  It is a blessing with technology that we are able to talk through the internet.

This week, we also received two new interns who will be helping with LifeNet.  I should have taken their picture, but haven't yet.  They are a blessing already and we have spent much of the week helping them settle in and just hanging out with them, as they adjust to their new life here in Belize.

Well, I am going to enjoy these few moments of quiet while I have them...

Challenges

Life is full of challenges.

I just read an article that was sharing the importance of living in the now, not waiting for the next thing.  I feel that I have savored the seasons in my life most of the time.  Just not the tough seasons.  Those ones I want to pass quickly.

I think of Josh's last year here at home.  EVERY SINGLE THING would get me choked up or in a full fledged cry.  Knowing there were so many "lasts" that year was so hard for me.  But now that he is at college, I really do have so much peace.  Don't get me wrong.  I miss him incredibly.  (I do have a bit of jealousy when my fellow freshman college parents are getting to visit their kids and it has now been over three months since I last saw my son.)  And knowing the wait til I see him again is long.  But, I am peaceful in this season for him.  I am thankful for the way that the Lord is taking care of him even better than I ever could.  I am thankful that he is blessed to attend such an amazing school.

Back to challenges.  Yesterday I met with someone who wants to adopt.  I feel I have become an adoption advocate.  Because every child deserves a mom and dad.  A children's home, no matter how amazingly it is run, is never the ideal in a person's life.  But adoption is challenging.  Sometimes the hard days outweigh the good days.  But you also begin to savor the easy days.  The Happy days.  And our eyes must not get caught up in the here and now, but the goal.  We must lay down of ourselves, over and over.  And we must ask our first children in the home to lay down of themselves too.  And we must never give up.  It is not an option.  People looking into adoption must count the cost before beginning the journey.

I picked up a book yesterday about the Twenty things adoptees wish their adoptive parents knew.  I have literally only read the dedication...But she is standing over her adoptive parent's graves, thanking them.  Thanking them for loving her when she was unlovable.  Pouring into her when she seemed unreceptive.  That she was thankful for everything they had done.  Every time they had fought for her. 

Adoption is one of the most challenging things I feel I have done.  And now, here we are in the middle of it again.  But when I look to the future, when I see God's bigger picture, and I am reminded that this is the season He has put our family in...it is not so hard:)

What season are you in?  Are you allowing God to mold you or becoming resentful?

There once was a girl with a botfly in her leg...

Several weeks ago, Tori went cavetubing with one of the teams that had come to minister with LifeNet.  She got bit by a mosquito...which is just life here.  The difference is that this bite would never heal.  She was very concerned and worried that it may be a bot fly.  Warning:  Google at your own risk...its pretty disturbing.

A couple weeks ago, I decided to take her to the doctor.  The doctor had never seen one before but assured us it was just a bad bite and would heal with time.

Still the mysterious bite did not heal.

Yesterday afternoon, we once again began discussing what it could be, what we should do.  I suggested she clean it really good with some rubbing alcohol.  Apparently, that was the trigger.  She began to see yucky stuff come out and then just as Net was starting last night, she saw the head.  Yes, like an alien, coming out of her leg.  I don't know how, but Jesus, but she held it together through the NetGroup.  As soon as Net was over, we knew what we needed to do.  We piled vaseline to cover the hole and suffocate the worm so it would poke through.  And when Lee got home from the van run, he slowly, and carefully pulled it out...and it was fat....  Poor girl.

So, there once was a girl with a botfly in her leg.  Noone believed her, not even the doctor.

Well, she proved them wrong.

And I am glad this tale is over...

This Past Weekend

As I write this, it is pouring outside my window.  And I love it.  Rain brings in breeze and wind and cooler temps.  The only thing I don't like is the mud...but I don't mind cleaning up as much when it is not as hot:)

This coming week, we will have completed our first nine weeks of homeschool.  Tori has a full load as a sophomore this year and Erika has almost completed third grade.  We are anxiously awaiting the delivery of her fourth grade curricullum.  Kailey is adjusting to homeschool as well.   She likes best how it usually only takes half a day to complete her work, rather than all day long.  It is hard to believe we are already a quarter of a way through the year.  My days fly by between household and homeschool duties.

We are blessed that Erika and Kailey get to enjoy ballet and other dance classes through YWAM twice a week.  They both enjoy going so much and it is a great outlet for them.  Elizabeth, Tori and I walk most school mornings now and it is such a great start to our day.  Today, Tori began to take Art Lessons from a lady here in Belmopan.  She has so much natural ability and I cannot believe how much she learned in just the first lesson.  And I love that the girls now each have something, outside the home, because we are all home so much:)

This weekend was a lot of fun.  Friday night, one of the families invited over several couples.   They cooked us amazing Barbecue with all the fixings and then we played some games together.  There was lots of laughing and we lost track of time, not getting home until after midnight.  We let all the younger girls sleep in Saturday morning and Elizabeth and I got up and went to Marla's.  We had a great time.  

Sunday, our church participated for the third year in a row passing out waters.  The wait before we start is long and hot, but the joy of passing the cool waters to the hot parade watchers is awesome.  Erika and I ended up getting on the back of the float to help pass the waters from there, as that is where help was needed more.  But the whole weekend, I was just overwhelmed with our church family.  They are all willing to serve.  And believe me, this passing out waters is no easy task.  We all went to bed at 8 pm Sunday night and took Monday off:)

I want to give photo credit, as most of these pictures were taken by Tori.  I am amazed at her photography skills, as well as her artist skills:)

Elizabeth kept us all laughing as she danced the parade away.  But she was exhausted like the rest of us that night...

This collage is from Friday night and Sunday...

I love this selfie Tori took this summer.  Since she was the photographer, there were none of her at the parade.  Kailey and Tori both worked so hard passing out all those waters!!!

A few weeks back, we needed a getaway as a family.  It was an awesome field trip to visit an Iguana Farm.  If you know me, I should get big points for even going in the cage.  But I must admit, I did not hold any iquanas...  I was the designated photographer with Tori's camera, so she could enjoy the iguanas.

Life remains busy as we transition still to lots of changes in our household.  One of my great joys is when I get to hear from Josh.  He is doing great.  They have special things they do for the kids of missionaries and that blesses me so much.  He has also been blessed by visits from our families and care packages.  I miss him so much, but am so happy that he is enjoying college life so much.