Bible Study

I am just beginning Beth Moore's "Beloved Disciple" Study and Love it.  It is so powerful how Jesus chooses to be in relationship with us.  He is for us.  He is constantly using the things in our life to teach us powerful things.  So that we can pass those truths on.

Psalm 25:14 says, "The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him,

And He will show them His covenant."

Well, I want to walk close enough to Jesus to know His secrets.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that He has made everything beautiful in His time...

Yesterday was our first day off from school.  We just all need a little break sometimes.  We woke up very early in the morning to go and support the opening of the Foursquare school in Cayo.  Then after an early lunch, we headed to the pool.

Kailey and I had an entire afternoon of just "connecting".  It was a very special moment that I didn't want to end.  She talked, I talked.  We just connected on a very deep level, and I am so grateful.  This morning as I do this study, I feel the message is very powerful and relevant.

"I truly believe that if we're willing to see, God uses every difficulty and assignment to confide deep things to us and that the lessons are not complete until their beauty has been revealed."--Beth Moore

Yesterday, as I visited with my third child, much of God's beauty was revealed.  A year ago right now was not a fun time in my life.  I felt God had called me to too difficult an assignment.  But now, looking back, I see that every difficulty or inconvenience or hard thing was worth it.

Something as an adoptive parent that is a struggle for me is why?  Why didn't God connect me to Erika and Kailey right at their birth.  I could have saved so much heartache.  It would have been so much easier.  But that was not God's plan in either of their lives.  And He will use those things, those hard things, to grow deep compassion and empathy within their hearts.

Recently, Tori (first), then Kailey, have both shared that they want to be social workers when they grow up.  Why?  Because they both know the importance of good ones.  Their life experiences have formed what they want to do in life.  They want to help children who need it.  They want to find families that are good for those children.  And this blesses my heart so deeply.

The other thing is at camp this weekend and when we visited the school, Kailey expressed thankfulness to me because of her opportunities.  She told me how smart she is now because of being homeschooled (yes, it is a little funny, but cool as well).  She told me yesterday if she would have not come to us, she would not have gone to high school.  It was just how it was.  She was always told that.  And that makes me sad to think about.  She is such a smart girl and I believe will be successful into college.  I am sad that she had to endure loss to be a part of our family, but thankful that we are able to change her future (with God's help).

We also talked about when the Lord told us to adopt her.  What a supernatural experience it was for us.  She said at that time, she only knew Tori.  She is who stood out to her and who she liked.  Isn't that the coolest thing?  Because it was when Tori was 11 years old, that God gave her a vision of Kailey coming into our family.

This afternoon, I will once again head to do the Bible Study at Hope for Life.  I am praying for it not to be raining, as that is right when it is supposed to hit.  And I want who is supposed to be there, to be able to make it.

Make sure you spend some time in God's Word today.  It is so powerful.

Exciting

It has been 95 degrees and higher inside my house for the last couple of weeks.  It is still 90 when we go to bed, but it feels cool after the heat of the day.  I have been taking a lot of cool showers and drinking a lot of water.  But this heat is exhausting.  The temps drop throughout the night.  We have a thermometer on the air conditioner in our room that we never use...and I get happy as I see the temps go down.  This morning I did not get up early.  I just laid in bed since it is cooler and enjoyed...because I knew the heat of the day would soon set in.

Yesterday, we celebrated 1 year of Hope for Life.  It is a Pregnancy Help Center that my friend, a fellow missionary, began.  We have had several ladies from LifeNet volunteer and our church family supports the center in any way we can.

This picture is when my mom came in November and visited the center.

The board members and volunteers had a lunch to celebrate yesterday.  As we were on the front porch, enjoying our nachos, the fellow volunteers and board members shared what they have learned over the past year.  I felt bad when they came to me, because my volunteer position is to lead the Bible Study each week.  A year ago, I went for several weeks in a row and noone ever came.  I would stand at the front door and pray.   I would walk around the little house and pray.  But noone ever came.  So, we decided for me to just hold on to the Bible Study until we had more clients.  About a month ago, I was going through some things in my room and found the Study...and decided to give it back to Jadine.  My room is so full of homeschool, children's church and personal books, I was afraid I would lose it.  It wasn't a week later and Jadine messaged me with excitement and asked if I was ready to begin the study.  She felt we had some clients who would be willing to come.  Just as a side note, they earn "bucks" for attending and can shop for baby clothes and diapers.  But that is good because I think rewarding them for making an effort to come is worth it.

A couple weeks ago, we began.  I think we had four students, some with babies or family members.  Last week, I was sick.  Just too sick to be able to teach.  So yesterday, I was excited to see who would come.  In all, we ended up have five clients.  Three were pregnant, two had newborns.  Plus a couple of family members.  Tori went with me as well and snapped a picture for the Hope for Life newsletter. She goes, so that if there are older children who need to be watched, she is available to play with them.  I appreciate her being there so much. I greatly distorted the picture for the women's privacy.  But I wanted to share a pic, just because pictures are powerful.

All of the women who are attending are more fluent in Spanish.  I have lived in Belize a long time and get by fine with my English, but never have wished so much that I was fluent in Spanish as well.  Just as you share the things of the Lord, it would be so much easier to speak in their native tongue.  Even with Kailey, so often I wish I could converse in Spanish with her.

One other funny story that happened earlier at the lunch that I wanted to share.  One of the Board Members is teaching Lamaze to the pregnant women.  She said it is ironic because she actually had 3 C-sections.  But Jadine's daughter was there and shared how what she taught her was so beneficial as she recently gave birth.  Then the board members began sharing how all these videos of birth, and diagrams, etc, were so graphic.  That they had never experienced things like that before.  I laughed and said, well, I grew up in a home with a mother who taught Lamaze, so remember seeing them and wouldn't think a thing of it.  It is just natural when your parents are nurses.  Well, the other Board Member began laughing and said, "Robyn, it is YOUR MOM who gave us all this stuff!!!"   It was funny, but also blessed me that even though my mother is far away, she had a definite impact on this little center when she came in November.

So, please pray for me if you think of it as I prepare.  I am trying to get some of the scriptures translated into Spanish.  I have such an opportunity to pour Jesus into these women.  I am so thankful and so honored.

Visiting the Ketchi Net

There are many things our family sacrifices in our obedience to serve in Belize.  Sometimes we handle it well.  Sometimes we don't.

Recently, Lee decided to start rotating around to the other NetGroups besides the one that meets here.  And so Erika and I will be joining him on these rotations.  Then, when he stays here with the young adults, Erika and I will return to our Net.

This past Thursday, we were going to visit a group in Maya Mopan.  I did not voice my complaints that were shouting inside my head.  I was resistant to go for very selfish, spoiled reasons.  Lets just say it was out of my comfort zone in many ways.  But I prayed through and asked the Lord to change my attitude.  Erika was also resistant, as it is a different situation, where she would need to stay in the Net, and not go off to play with the kids.

As we were getting ready, I still was carrying some inward apprehensions.  What if I needed to use the restroom?  I didn't want to get bit up...Dengue Fever is very bad right now.  And I am always the one to get bit, even with spray on me.  Or worse yet, I didn't want Erika to get sick.  What if it was so uncomfortably hot?  So many things.

But as we got there, we were warmly welcomed.  They were so happy we had come.  It was actually much, much cooler than my house, out in the village.  And Erika was great.

One thing I really enjoyed was just observing the culture out in the village versus the culture within the city limits.  The parents did not bring toys or cups. The babies/toddlers just nursed on and off throughout the night until they fell asleep and slept on the hard floor.  The children were all very well behaved and participated.  The Net was almost entirely in Ketchi, with Feliciano translating here and there.  The people gave testimonies and then sang a song with all their heart.  This is how the entire two hours went.  Giving praise to God for what He has done, then singing.  There were a couple requests to God, but mostly it was thanks.  Many of the testimonies were about Lee.  We do not want the people to look to Lee as their God, but I don't think they were.  They were moreso saying how he goes above and beyond to serve.  Even going way into the jungle the previous Thursday to pray for one of the families daughters...late at night.  And she was supernaturally healed.  They appreciated that Lee cared for their family.

I had many emotions, especially during the times when I didn't understand the words being said.  I just sat and looked around.  Thankful that God called us here.  To unite this group of people who draw strength from God and one another.  You see, we have been here almost five years, and I have never been to this Net Group.  Other Missionaries have assisted, but primarily it has been done by Belizeans that we have poured into.  We pour into the leaders and the leaders pour into the people.

So, yes, there are many sacrifices.  We live far away from family...and my son.  We sweat ALOT.  Life is harder for us here than in the states.  But going to that Net put it all in perspective.

Seasons

We are constantly in different seasons of our life.  We look back on our life and think, that was a good time.  Things were so easy back then.  But we don't usually remember the hard things about that time.  Sometimes in our most fulfilling seasons, we don't even realize until we look back.  And sometimes our hardest, darkest seasons, where there seems to be no hope, we look back and think, "Wow, that wasn't too bad...and God was with us every step of the way..."

Sometimes I feel like being a homeschooling mom here in Belize is so much harder than if we were in the states.  It is harder to find extra things for the girls to do.  If we have trouble, it just seems harder to connect with other homeschooling families that can help.  Its hot...and there is no ac, so physical activities are hard.   Even getting all the schoolwork done when sweat is pouring down your back is a serious challenge for the girls.

But then I read something and am reminded how blessed I am to be in this season.  To be able to homeschool my girls.  Its not perfect, by any means.  But it is the best solution for their education in this season.  I get more time with them than if I sent them off somewhere.  And their time with us is really so short.

I talked to Josh today.  That always makes me happy.  But it also reminds me that we did some things right in parenting him.  He works hard, is responsible.  He is a son to be proud of.

I had a conversation with Tori today.  She was upset about a moral decision some people we know had made.  I told Lee to be proud...  The morals we have instilled in her run deep.  She has a great understanding of what a life in ministry means.  And that our walk with the Lord affects others around us.   And she brought the subject up to me, not the other way around.

Kailey has only lived with us for a year, but already I see how Jesus has placed her with us.  That we have this amazing opportunity to mold her to the ways of Christ.  Not religious, but a deep relationship with Him.  I have seen her come so far in the past year in so many areas.  And homeschooling her is the best.  If we sent her away to school, we would be a very small part of her life.  But we get to be with her most of the time.  Her entire idea of family is completely different.  Not because we are perfect, but because we are healthy.

And Erika...our Biggest little girl in the house.  God placed her in our family.  I look at pictures when she was a little baby and never could have imagined her vocabulary as an 8 year old.  Seriously, often I have to remind myself how old she is.  But God has placed her with us...so we would push her and challenge her.  This year in school is very challenging for her.  But the thing is, even when she is frustrated, she can do it.  And that is a blessing of her being homeschooled.  Her fullest potential can be reached.

Last weekend, Lee performed a very fancy wedding on a hill at a mansion overlooking Belmopan.  I seriously felt like I was in a  movie.  At the reception, they had seated us with the Mayor.  I really do not know him that well.  He is young 30's and Lee meets with him most weeks.  Sitting and chatting small talk...like you do with someone you don't really know...actually really blessed me.  I could see what a blessing Lee has been in his life.  He said several times that he has a lot in common with Lee.  It made my heart swell with pride that God has used my husband to be a blessing in this community and nation.  And how blessed that I get to be his wife.:)

So the days are sometimes long.  Some days I get so frustrated and overwhelmed by many things.  And God gently reminds me that He guides our steps.  He is with us in our seasons.  Good, bad, all of it.

Catching Up

Whew!  Its been a while since I was on here.  Life has been busy.

We are halfway through our second week of homeschool.  It is going well, but it is going to be a full year for everyone.  I have two high schoolers and one fifth grader.  

We are also hoping for our girls to grasp guitar this year.  They are required, as part of their school day to practice at least 30 minutes, and then have a group lesson Friday night.  Our heart is that they would be able to play well enough, that they would have portable music anywhere they go in life.  That they could worship and lead in worship wherever the Lord may send them.

This week, Tori and Erika have been attending Spanish for 2 1/2 hours each morning and then coming home and doing school.  They are learning so much and it is really given Tori some understanding that she just couldn't get through her homeschool teacher.  We may even have her continue as the year goes on.  Again, grasping another language is more than just education, but a tool that the Lord can use in their lives.  Kailey, of course, is already bilingual.  And I cannot tell you how many times that has come in handy.

One thing about them being gone each day is that I never have that.  My girls are always with me and are always home.  It has been kind of nice to give Kailey some one -on-one attention while the girls are gone.  And I think it has been fun for them to have someone else pour into them.  And the house is so quiet with Erika gone.:)

So our days have been busy.  I always like to start the school year strong, when the enthusiasm is still high:)  We have definitely started strong and are in a good homeschooling groove.

Josh has been busy working this summer, fitting in a few little trips with Wayne and Jodie's family.  We miss him so much.  Soon, he will head back up to SAGU and start his sophomore year.  We are so proud of him and so thankful that he gets to attend such a great University.  I wish I was the one taking him up and settling him, but am thankful for family who are willing to serve him in this way.

In a few minutes, I will do my first Bible Study for Hope for Life.  It is a Pregnancy Help Center, where women can come and receive help and encouragement.  I am excited to share with them this afternoon.  I am thankful for this ministry in  a country where abortion and unplanned pregnancies are high.

Lately, we have seen miracles left and right.  It has been so exciting and encouraging.  Of course, we  believe we serve a healing God, but seeing it happen time and again have just really increased my faith even more.  

We began a nursery a couple of months ago, and it is going well.  Both Tori and Kailey love serving with the babies.  I love their eagerness.  And I am so thankful for the parents who are able to receive ministry during the services.  It is a blessing for all who are involved.

Alright, time to get ready:)

My Mom is Turning 70

Today my Mom is 70.  Next year, she and my father will celebrate 50 years of marriage.

I asked this summer for pictures so I could prepare something for their anniversary.  But as I scanned the pictures, it was an emotional experience.  Seeing my parents' lives in pictures.  A life before me, raising me, after I left the house.  In 50 years of marriage, 70 years of life, my 18 years at home were just a small portion of my mother's life.

I was able to see where my children and I got our curly hair.

This picture of my mother on her wedding day is the most beautiful picture I have ever seen.  I see true, full joy, marrying a man that she loves even more deeply today.  Theirs is a story of real love.  Committed love.

Or when my Mom and Dad sold most of their belongings and packed up their little family and moved across the country to attend Bible college.  The things she must have been carrying in her heart.  My parents' obedience to Christ...even in leaving everything...their friends, family and home would forever affect my life.  Their willingness to follow Christ impacted my walk with the Lord in such a tremendous way.

And then all her children began leaving the nest.  And we started having our own babies.  Then Mom became Grandma...and she loves those grandbabies.

Its hard when your kids grow up and move away.  But Mom stays busy.  Even into their seventies, my parents still serve the Lord wherever they go.  They may be retired from nursing, but still minister to people in hospitals all the time.  They may be retired from full time ministry, but still love to teach and share about the Lord.

Happy Birthday, Mom!!!

Thank you for teaching me to love the Lord.

And thank you for loving your family...

All I ever wanted to do was be a Mom...

Father's Day Weekend

This weekend we celebrated Lee and the father that he is to our family.  I feel bad his birthday just kind of got passed over with the combination of us being at convention, me not having a car and failing to plan to ahead, and our kids being gone.  So this weekend, the younger girls and I tried to make him feel loved:)

Last night, we ended it with sharing what we love about him (this is a tradition for the birthday person each year).  Tori even participated over Facetime.  But as our younger two began to share, there were many tears.  Tears of gratefulness that they have a godly father.  Realization that God rescued them from a possible ungodly father to give them someone so much better.  Someone who protects them and loves them as his own.  It was a special moment in time.  In the midst of the chaos of life, sometimes it is good to sit down.  Slow down.  Remember the bigger picture.

This is also the word the Lord gave me at church that morning.  Worship was amazing yesterday.  Right before church, I read a comment from a childhood friend about my beautiful family in the video I had made Lee.  The Lord spoke very clearly to me.  "You are living your dream."  " I have given you what you prayed for."  Its so true.  I prayed for a big family.  I prayed for birth children and adopted children.  I prayed to homeschool those kids and be a full time mom.  But in the chaos of life, it is sometimes easy to lose perspective.  With the endless chores that there sometimes are.  With the drama that happens in a house full of girls....it can sometimes be really easy to forget.  Forget that this is what I asked the Lord for.  And He gave me my big family.  My beautiful children.  He allowed me in this season to be home with them.  Every Day.  To be the one who pours into them.

And you know that music always speaks to me the loudest.  My new song that I can't get enough of is Touch the Sky by Hillsong.  The words are just so powerful to me.  

My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground

Our lives are really meaningless unless we are doing what God has called us to.  

Its when we truly lay our lives down, that God can use us.

If we want to touch heaven, we have to be on our knees....