My world is about to change in a million different ways

It has been a crazy few months for me. And the hardest part has been not being able to talk about it. But now I can...

Last April, the Lord told Lee it was time to sell it all and move to Belize. At first, I was so against it. I was paralized with fear of all the knowns and unknowns. God has had to take me on a journey. But since I decided to stop fighting it and submit my will to God, it has been so cool. I have had more Words from the Lord for me and for others, spiritual dreams and just have been on quite a journey!!! The Lord has delivered me from FEAR. It no longer has a hold on me...

A few weeks ago, we spent two weeks in LA to train for the Mission Field. It was so wonderful to be around others who were already living it. They encouraged me so much. We came home and began preparing our house to sell...to free us of all debt. Our financial life is about to change tremendously. I will stop working soon in preparation to homeschool Josh and Tori. And Lee will stay on staff for 6 more months and then we will need to raise funds for the field and plan to leave around Jan or Feb.

So, this morning, when I woke up, I knew we needed to complete some cleaning, etc, to get the house ready to go on the market today. What I was not prepared for was that I would wake up to the FOR SALE sign already in my lawn at 7 this morning. It made it all very real. I have to constantly refocus that this house is just a house...wherever my family is, that will be our home. And I am actually liking going through and getting rid of stuff. The downsizing is awesome. I guess I am just a nester and it is hard for me to lose this nest. Tori was in preschool and Josh was in 2nd grade when we moved into this house on my 30th birthday. This is the home that we lovingly prepared to bring Erika into 2 years ago. We have had people visit us here, many birthday parties, many cell groups, and much ministry has gone on in this house. This house enabled us to help Lea when she needed somewhere to live....and that is probably what makes it hard.

So that is what I am mourning...all the memories.

Yesterday was one of the most nervous days of my life. My stomach was a mess. I sat up on the second row, so that I would not have to walk all the way from the back to share my part in the message. It was good..so I couldn't see everyone crying. Yesterday we definitely felt how much we are loved. We know God will take care of Life Church and it will go on without us, but I sure do love these people. They are all so precious. When you start a church from the ground up, you know everyone's story, when they came, maybe that they had prayed for a church like ours. I love our church, I love our worship, I love the friends I have here. They are my family. And it is hard to leave family.

Yesterday was also Josh's birthday. (Our camera broke when I dropped it at Lea's dance recital on Thursday, so it may be a while til I post more pics. ) Anyway, we went to Red Lobster after church with all the family...The service by the waitstaff was horrible...But the fellowship was great. I know it is bittersweet for our families. They are happy that we are obedient to the Lord, but it is hard for us to move away from them and for them to lose us. But 14 years ago, the greatest blessing ever happened. I had felt that I had waited forever to have my firstborn, but he was worth it. Josh was a dream of a baby and has only gotten better. I am so thankful for the joy he brings into my life. And I am so proud how excited he is to go to Belize. He is a great kid.

Well, I go to sleep with mixed feelings. I want to stay in my home as long as possible, but on the other hand, do not want to have to try to keep my house clean all the time...for long...this weekend was enough to drive me crazy. With 4 kids, you've got to be kidding???? So I am just praying for God's timing. He knows what is best.

But my house is clean, so feel free to stop by...I want to spend as much time with my friends while I can....