Being In This World But Not Of It: The Cost of the Calling

Saturday, March 16, 2013

The Cost of the Calling

In this post, I will be very real, very transparent. Many thoughts and emotions swirling through my head and I will try to express how I feel right now. Part of this blog is also a journal for me. It is therapeutic, in a sense, to write down the rawness of my feelings at this moment.

The third missionary couple, awesome friends, people our family deeply loves...since January, just told us that they are returning to the states. Two of the couples had gotten here right before us, one about six months after us.

There is something dark, in the spiritual realm, that fights people who are here in the name of Jesus. I'll be honest...I have felt it attack our family. All of these couples have reasons for leaving. All of these couples have something they are moving into. But the bottom line? It is TOUGH being a missionary here in Belize. Maybe anywhere, for that matter. I only know Belize.

It has been something I have had to process as each couple shares with us. We know the stats. We have been told by Belizeans...they simply wait for the time that the Missionaries leave. I do not feel that it is hard on the Belizeans when the Missionaries leave because they expect it. It is what it is.

I don't want our family to be another statistic. I totally understand why all of my friends are leaving. They all are very precious people. A part of my heart leaves with them. But I must stay here. We must leave a self-sustaining ministry behind. We must leave an impact on this nation.

Please pray for us...the girls of the family...as we watch our friends leave. It is painful.

We know that we must not be friends with only the missionaries...or just the missionaries...for this reason. They will not be here forever. It is why it is hard to become deeply close the Belizean people. They don't want to invest their full heart...only to see us walk away. We have to prove we are here for a long time. But still, they have a hard time believing us.

Today, I saw someone that I have not see for a while. A Belizean Christian couple. We chatted. One thing she said has rung in my ears and heart all day. "So, you're still here. Are you making Belize your home??" She fully expected that we would be gone by now.

Pray for me. I know we are called. We spent the day with young people at a Gospel Expo. Kids from our church that we love and love to hang out with. I know God is using us in their lives. These are the people I must vest my time and life into. And it is a joy to vest our time in them!

We had a wonderful day. The weather was beautiful for being outside for the Christian Expo. We enjoyed the young people in our church serving through their talents.

We are excited about what God is doing through LifeNet. Not through Lee and Robyn, but through the entire church body. We are excited at the relationships that are there. We are excited that God is using our family. And even when it is hard to say goodbye to fellow Americans that we love, we must remember that we did not come to Belize for Americans. We came for Belizeans:)