So much imperfection

Sometimes people say they admire me because I am a missionary, that I homeschool my kids, and am a pastor's wife.

Please don't.

I am so imperfect and so real and have good and bad days.

Yesterday a friend said she could never homeschool her kids like me.  That she is just thankful when school starts and she can have some peace during the day.

Sometimes I wish that too, though.  Like today.  A certain child is not feeling well and is making the day very long and painful.  She is currently in her bedroom and not allowed out.

BUT God has called me to homeschool my kids during this season of my life.  And most days I LOVE IT.  Some days, I wish I could send them to school.  But I am called to do this, so He gives me just enough strength and wisdom to make it through each day.

Being on the Mission field away from my family and a lot of my friends.  Living without the comforts I had in the states.  These things are hard for me.  BUT God has called us here for this season.  He is using us.  And so, He helps me do what I need to do.

And He helps me find new Joys in this season of my life.  Things I never would have discovered had I stayed in Texas.

We watched a shorted YouTube the other day.  Here it is.

Nobody Has It All Together

I really want Lee to show this at church.  Because so often I feel people come and see other people and think their lives must be so perfect, so easy.  But they don't see all the trials that that person has walked through to get where they are.  Maybe even the trials they walked through that morning.  But my favorite is that this family, even though they had a rough morning where nothing went right, still went to church.  Because we are pastors...I know...I may step on some toes...but we feel church should be a big part of people's lives.  That people should be committed.  Even when they have a bad morning.  That even when they have company visiting from out of town.  Church should be a priority.  Because all week long, we are so surrounded by people in the world that we need a day to be surrounded with people who love Jesus.   Is it really too much to ask to commit one day, one morning to the Lord?  Okay, off my soapbox.

But all that to say.  I feel like being here in Belize has challenged me in so many new ways to grow.  That God asks me to do things.  I tell him No, I'm not equipped.  But He just wants me to obey.  And then He helps me do those things.  Some days I feel overwhelmed with so much to do.  But somehow, I make it through.  I do manage to actually get things done.  Sometimes not as much as I would like.  But that is where I have to admit I am not perfect.  And do things in His strength, not my own.

Even this blog post.  I have been interrupted about ten times.  It is sometimes so hard for me to even sit down and compose my thoughts.  So many times I sit down to type and it never gets out...because my life is crazy, imperfect.  I am still a work in progress until the day I leave this earth.

Be encouraged.  God can use you.  You don't have to be extremely talented or super smart.  God will use anyone whose heart is willing.  He will mold you exactly how He needs you.  He will stretch you when you think you cannot be stretched any more.  And then you will look back and thank Him for that stretching.  You will see how the things you go through...God uses ALL of it.  

Now, to attempt to make cinnamon rolls with my 14 year old.  We are learning to cook new things together...some of it turns out...some of it doesn't.  But that is how we learn and grow.