Three Posts in One Day

Lots of thoughts today...

I am sitting on my couch in a house that is finally beginning to cool...I think the temperature has dipped down to 82 inside the house from 95 for most of the afternoon...82 feels great... I will wait for it to cool a little more before showering, though...

I am also sitting here in the middle of a nerf war...there are little nerf bullets flying all around me, sometimes hitting me:)  But glad they are having fun.  Glad Winnie is part of the family:)

It was so hot this afternoon...the kids went and rode their bikes to buy us all popsicles...and we enjoyed every drop...thankful for popsicles in Belize...

Tomorrow is Josh's birthday.  We will load up in our too small car and enjoy a day at the zoo.  We are leaving early to try to go before it gets too hot...and then Josh gets to pick where we eat lunch.  We have decided on a van, and now are just waiting for him to get air conditioning installed in it.  We are needing a van, as we already have girls that need to be picked up for church, and our car does not hold our family of 6.  So I am praying we are able to get it soon...

But, my real reason for blogging tonight.

I keep thinking about how my life has changed sooo much in the past year.  A year ago, I was on the brink of so much change, but it had not happened yet.  A year ago, we were about to put our house on the market, never knowing it would sell in 10 days!!!  which began a whirlwind of purging 18 years of stuff, memories, furniture, so much stuff....we were on the verge of about 6 garage sales, moving into an apartment that was half the size of our house, me not working at the church anymore, where I had gone 2-3 days a week for 8 years.  My whole life changed a year ago.  A year ago, I was willing to come to Belize, but so unsure, so afraid of the unknown...there were so many things that I just did not know how things would go...how the details would work out.  I was grieving the life I had to give up, to pursue what God was calling my family to.  A year ago was an extremely emotional time in my life.  I remember last May, sitting in the apt, the kids at school,  just looking around at the boxes, and thinking...what has happened to my life?  My perfect life?  It was a hard time in my life...I will be honest.  I knew we were in God's will, but I was not sure how much I was liking it.  Sometimes it is like that.  Just being honest.  Sometimes you know...like you know...that you are in God's will and doing exactly what He wants for your life.  The signs are all there.  But it is not fun.  There have been some parts of this journey that have not been fun.  There have been some days, that I just wanted my old life back....kind of like the Israelites...always wanting to go back...

BUT, I want to say...that I am HAPPY to be in this place God has our family.  I am so blessed.  I love our home.  I love our life as a family here.  I love that my children are missionaries...  I love that God shows me daily that He has His hand on our lives.  And as I sat and looked around today at our service, I love who God is bringing into this church we are starting.  I love that He picked us, Trusted us, to come and minister here in Belize.  At a time where the Harvest is so ripe.

I don't necessary like the sweating I have done today.

But I like knowing God is using me and my family.

I like, now, and, am thankful for the journey He put me on.  To show me that material things aren't as important as I was making them (even though, I actually considered myself not that materialistic).  I like that He has forced me to grow up a little. I thought I was so grown....He showed me that we never stop growing...or we should never stop.  I like that He broke me out of my comfort zone.  I did NOT like the process of the breaking...it was not fun.  But looking back, I am thankful.  I am thankful that I have learned to enjoy the little things I took for granted before.  I will never be the same.  Being on the mission field changes you.  And it has only been two months.  I like that God is here in Belize, just like He was with me in Katy.  I have so much experience, but love that ministry is fresh and new and alive.  No two situations are the same, because no two people are the same.  No two people react to heartache the same way.

So, it has been a year for me...quite a year.  I feel that very little in my life is the same except my immediate family...  But God has given me the strength to adjust.  He has armed me with tools...  And He has taught me to LEAN into Him even more than ever before.  I have fought many spiritual battles and Know there are many more...  But I am aware...

I was afraid of so many things about moving to Belize...but God has broken those fears...and taught me a greater level of trust.  And reminded me that He is for me...and showed me in such powerful ways...how much He loves ME.